Help, I think my mum is being scammed

diystarter7

heidiprincess13 said:

Thank you for all your comments. I am going to go and see her after work today with my sister to try and get to the bottom of it. I will post later once I have been to see her. Thank you for all the links as well 

Hi

Thnaks for the heads up and taking sis.
However, try but if mum gets agitated etc, back off, take it step by step. Do call the bank and register your concerns as they may come handy and heads up for them even though they may not say that.

Sadly, you are not alone.
Have you considered calling the local police officer and them having a word with mum, possibly get her to agree?

Though I've never been an officer of the law, I have at times sat in meetings with them and some are really good and helpful

I have been a local gov officer in my work history and what I and people noted when I visited their parents and at times their adult kids were my customers, at times they would listen to me and act on my concerns whereas they had ignored the same advice from family.
Therefore, worth a talk with cops, if the police agree to visit subject to mum agreeing , then get mum to agree if possible for a friendly chat and it may do the trick or scare of the scammer when they get wind of this

Let us know please if you can

Good luck

sheramber

The BBC ran a morning TV programme about scammers. 

One example was an elderly lady who had been scammed out of thousands.  They showed her how 'his photograph'  belonged to someone else and  explained all about the scam.

The lady was in tears  but she insisted she still loved him despite what he had done. 

He had obviously filled a need in her life which she didn't want to lose.

Robin9

There was a recent BBC Series "For Love or Money" with Kym Marsh showing how some people - men and women - fell for these scams. Not all were online  involving false identities.

shiny76

Without bringing up her situation perhaps you could watch For Love or Money (https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000b1px )  together.  Then draw comparisons?  Perhaps a BBC programme might carry more authority?

Also, warning the bank, if they ask your mum questions then she may see them as having more authority (experience) and get her to re-assess.

Pollycat

diystarter7 said:

Have you considered calling the local police officer and them having a word with mum, possibly get her to agree?

I think this suggestion is likely to have the OP's Mum digging her heels in.

You suggest "if mum gets agitated etc, back off, take it step by step." then suggest asking the local police having a word?

The 2 sisters need to keep on the right side of their Mum who has already been looking at houses (that she can't afford), talking to this man (?) via email and then moved to Google chat when the OP found out his(?) email address and moving money and refusing to explain what it's for.
I hate to think what a visit from the police might achieve.
 

MattMattMattUK

I agree that this is very difficult and only you know your mum so only you will know how to attempt to handle her. However unfortunate it is though, so long as she is of sound mind there is nothing legally to stop her giving/throwing away all the money/assets she has.

MEM62

heidiprincess13 said:

when i ask her she says to stop asking questions. 

Your response to that is "I can't mum because I care about you and I am concerned."

cymruchris

heidiprincess13 said:

Thank you for all your comments. I am going to go and see her after work today with my sister to try and get to the bottom of it. I will post later once I have been to see her. Thank you for all the links as well 

Hope it all goes well, and you get to the bottom of where she's sending the money....

diystarter7

Hi OP

I'm not sure where you live but I'm sure your  local police may have similar

I've read through, skim read and IMHO, this may help

https://www.surrey.police.uk/romancefraud


Good luck

Malthusian

sheramber said:

One example was an elderly lady who had been scammed out of thousands.  They showed her how 'his photograph'  belonged to someone else and  explained all about the scam.

The lady was in tears  but she insisted she still loved him despite what he had done. 

Off topic, but I remember reading about one elderly gent who lost huge amounts of money to a non-romantic investment scam. The kind where people ring you up at all hours to get you to "invest" in wine or art which doesn't exist. He lost huge amounts of money despite knowing - at least on some level - that it was a scam. Because (he said) it was nice to have someone to talk to.