Help, I think my mum is being scammed

MikeJXE

dil1976 said:

diystarter7 said:

Hi

Sorry to hear about that

Ask her what happened to the 1k, push her about it even if you fall out a little.
Seems like a scam


i am safely assuming mum has capacity and there is nothing you can do
other than to tell her about a story you have seen/read in the media about romance scams,

Does mum have siblings that she may listen to? But be aware mum may get very very upset
about you talking to others behind her back.

I'm not sure what else you cann do

Good luck

Why would you even think of suggesting that, that is going to make their mum push them further away from them than help. Their mother has been manipulated by someone and being controlled and you suggest something like that! I suggest you think about what you post before doing so!

Oh no not another one banging on about someone post but has no advice to give 

You obviously don't know how good romance scammers are, she needs to be throwing the kitchen sink at her mum before her bank is empty, her house sold and she has nothing 

cymruchris

heidiprincess13 said:

she is 72 but switched on, just gullible. she is no good with computers, online Banking etc. when i ask her she says to stop asking questions. i’m going to see her tomorrow night but didn’t know if i can contact her bank to make them aware. i’m just so worried 

Hopefully you'll make some progress in direct conversation.

It might be worth printing off something like this to take with you:

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/bp-assets/globalassets/cheshire-east/jo-romance-scam-poster-v3.pdf

Or even something more detailed like this:

https://www.thamesvalley.police.uk/SysSiteAssets/media/downloads/thames-valley/campaigns/romance-fraud-ebook_v3.pdf

Even if she refuses to read it while you're there - tell her you're leaving it there for her to read later when you're gone.

dil1976

MikeJXE said:

dil1976 said:

diystarter7 said:

Hi

Sorry to hear about that

Ask her what happened to the 1k, push her about it even if you fall out a little.
Seems like a scam


i am safely assuming mum has capacity and there is nothing you can do
other than to tell her about a story you have seen/read in the media about romance scams,

Does mum have siblings that she may listen to? But be aware mum may get very very upset
about you talking to others behind her back.

I'm not sure what else you cann do

Good luck

Why would you even think of suggesting that, that is going to make their mum push them further away from them than help. Their mother has been manipulated by someone and being controlled and you suggest something like that! I suggest you think about what you post before doing so!

Oh no not another one banging on about someone post but has no advice to give 

You obviously don't know how good romance scammers are, she needs to be throwing the kitchen sink at her mum before her bank is empty, her house sold and she has nothing 

I am giving advice on bad advice, sorry if you cant understand that. I actually do know as I know someone whose friends wife did exactly this and she lost over £100k to them and lost everything.

The mother needs support and help not being questioned by family as the scammer will be programming her to push everyone away and following that advice I pulled is exactly that. So maybe its you who doesn't know how well they operate!

MikeJXE

heidiprincess13 said:

she is 72 but switched on, just gullible. she is no good with computers, online Banking etc. when i ask her she says to stop asking questions. i’m going to see her tomorrow night but didn’t know if i can contact her bank to make them aware. i’m just so worried 

You need to do something and fast, 

I suggest you get clued up yourself about romance scams before you see your mum

This is serious business I've been there 

72 is the ideal age someone looking for love is very gullible,

If she is no good with computers how has she met this person ? has she actually had a face to face ?

If it's online I'm guessing he can't do zoom or FaceTime his phone is too old, the mic don't work the camera is faulty, 1000's of excuses 

Savvy_Sue

The most recent edition of Radio 4's Moneybox covered this exactly. Might she listen to a radio programme? 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001k7mn

In that case, the adult child was able to talk to the parent's bank, who initially refused to refund because - as stated - the money had gone abroad, but they did then pull back from that stance. 

Do you have power of attorney for your Mum? if not, it might be worth talking about that with her, although she may resist it if she thinks you don't approve of what she is doing. 

Spendless

Have you spoken to your sister that helped her take the £1K out of her ISA for a hol she didn't go on about your concerns? 

Sea_Shell

What a nightmare!    I have no idea what I'd do in that situation.  My Mum lives alone and is a similar age. 

Try to maintain as close a relationship with Mum as you can.   Talk often, visit regularly (if possible).   See what other family members know, or think.   

Is she generally sociable, does she drive etc etc?   

One thing I think you can do, if she owns her house, is to set up a Property Alert, so you are notified if anything happens to it.   

I think it's free.    See here... Property Alert - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

Might be worth doing. 

elsien

Savvy_Sue said:

The most recent edition of Radio 4's Moneybox covered this exactly. Might she listen to a radio programme? 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001k7mn

In that case, the adult child was able to talk to the parent's bank, who initially refused to refund because - as stated - the money had gone abroad, but they did then pull back from that stance. 

Do you have power of attorney for your Mum? if not, it might be worth talking about that with her, although she may resist it if she thinks you don't approve of what she is doing. 

I heard that. The gentleman was incredibly lucky though because the bank had even called him in to speak to them as they were so concerned he was been defrauded, but he was insistent the money was sent. The money was only refunded because of his specific personal circumstances - the bank had done everything they could to try to protect him, within the remit.

Pollycat

elsien said:

Savvy_Sue said:

The most recent edition of Radio 4's Moneybox covered this exactly. Might she listen to a radio programme? 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001k7mn

In that case, the adult child was able to talk to the parent's bank, who initially refused to refund because - as stated - the money had gone abroad, but they did then pull back from that stance. 

Do you have power of attorney for your Mum? if not, it might be worth talking about that with her, although she may resist it if she thinks you don't approve of what she is doing. 

I heard that. The gentleman was incredibly lucky though because the bank had even called him in to speak to them as they were so concerned he was been defrauded, but he was insistent the money was sent. The money was only refunded because of his specific personal circumstances - the bank had done everything they could to try to protect him, within the remit.

I heard it too and was really surprised the bank refunded. I wonder what would have happened if the son hadn't got the BBC involved.
Here's the article:
Fraud victim gets surprise £153,000 refund despite rules - BBC News

Whenever I hear stories like this, I always think 'why didn't they realise?' but these scammers must be incredibly plausible.

Mr.Generous

Offer to help her with the transfer but try and get a look at the current account statement - paper or online - and you'll see any dodgy transfers or payments. Then you can ask her about them in the nicest possible way.

I suspect the new love of her life is very wealthy, and they will be buying a lovely big house just as soon as he can get his hands on his vast fortune, he just needs a few thousand of your mothers money to pay some spuriois release fee to get to his vast wealth and will of course repay her in full ...