Help, I think my mum is being scammed

Pollycat

diystarter7 said:

Hi OP

I'm not sure where you live but I'm sure your  local police may have similar

I've read through, skim read and IMHO, this may help

https://www.surrey.police.uk/romancefraud


Good luck

The OP's Mum needs to have accepted that the person she has been communicating with is a scammer before anyone can involve the police.
Otherwise, she will just refuse to divulge any information.
The first step is acknowledging to her daughters (who were visiting her last night) that she is being/has been scammed.
I hope the OP and her sister have managed to get through to their Mum.

elsien

The police also have an unfortunate tendency to tell people to refer to Action Fraud rather than doing anything pro-active themselves. I have found this in my line of work where fraudsters were taking a vulnerable client to the bank and emptying her bank account. They took 10K in a month. 
The local police did nothing to investigate. just said refer to action fraud, but Action Fraud are there to get a picture of what is happening nationally and they do not deal with individual cases. 

Sapindus

I suggest having a chat with your mum explaining that you are worried about her.  But don't mention romance scams.  Think of all the other possible explanations for why she could be burning through her savings - she's ill, she can't afford her heating, she's been scammed some other way (holiday company etc).  You are caring and concerned children.  I bet at some point she won't be able to resist telling you the real reason, i.e. that she's got a feller and everything is wonderful.  At that point, be pleased for her.  Ask when you're going to meet him, ask all about him.  And hope that at some point she starts realising that things don't quite add up.

Also I agree with writing to the bank - if she does lose loads of money they will then be in less of a position to say they couldn't do anything and didn't suspect anything.

Also, try getting her The Switch by Beth O'Leary.  It's a nice happy-ending novel that just so happens to have a grandma in it who's being romance scammed. 

heidiprincess13

So I have been to my mums and she has been scammed out of £4000!!! 

It was the im a widow, with a son, I work on a ship, my money is tied up!!!


my mum is so sad. I called the non emergency police, they couldn’t do much but they are sending someone round to speak to her to make sure she understands she has been scammed and I have logged it with action fraud. 

I also called her bank but as she only used her card to buy vouchers there is nothing they can do. 

She got upset but I was harsh but kind. I have told her not to delete the messages from him just in case action fraud want them but I have told her not to reply. 

Thank you everyone for your comments. She wanted her Isa as she only has £500 left in her bank. I have told her that will be enough and she has agreed. 

He has taken nearly all her savings !

Sea_Shell

So sorry to hear that.      At least she opened up to you and admitted what was happening.    

I'm due to visit my mum soon.   I shall be mentioning these scams, to make her aware of how cunning they are. 


Did she say how/when she was first targeted?    My mum is 'off line' with only a mobile phone, so maybe she is somewhat 'safe'?   

Pollycat

Very sad to hear.

But great that she opened up to you and understands she has been scammed.

What dreadful people these scumbags are.
Why can't they do an honest day's work like other people?

heidiprincess13

She has a farce book message to start with then moved her on to Google chat. 

She is just lonely but has a great group of friends. She is going to speak to her closest friend later today as they had warned her. She feels awful for lying. But I have draw a line and if anyone ever asks for money, vouchers etc she is to call me.

I can’t thank you all enough for your comments 

Pollycat

heidiprincess13 said:

She has a farce book message to start with then moved her on to Google chat. 

She is just lonely but has a great group of friends. She is going to speak to her closest friend later today as they had warned her. She feels awful for lying. But I have draw a line and if anyone ever asks for money, vouchers etc she is to call me.

I can’t thank you all enough for your comments 

Why is she lonely if she has friends?
Are her days empty?
Perhaps she could look into starting a course at a school. Possibly IT for beginners or something similar. Or even going to tea dances or join a local ramblers group.
Or maybe volunteer in a charity shop.

She needs a big hug and a bunch of flowers.
Well done to you for stepping in and sorting it out.

sandycheeks

Been following your thread - these might be useful

•Action Fraud  - UK’s national reporting center for fraud and cybercrime

•Age UK/Action on Elder Abuse

•Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB)

•Cifas – protective registration for victims of Identity theft

•Crimestoppers

•Mail Preference services/TPS

Hope your mum is OK 

Sea_Shell

Pollycat said:

heidiprincess13 said:

She has a farce book message to start with then moved her on to Google chat. 

She is just lonely but has a great group of friends. She is going to speak to her closest friend later today as they had warned her. She feels awful for lying. But I have draw a line and if anyone ever asks for money, vouchers etc she is to call me.

I can’t thank you all enough for your comments 

Why is she lonely if she has friends?
Are her days empty?
Perhaps she could look into starting a course at a school. Possibly IT for beginners or something similar. Or even going to tea dances or join a local ramblers group.
Or maybe volunteer in a charity shop.

She needs a big hug and a bunch of flowers.
Well done to you for stepping in and sorting it out.

Friends can't give you "romance" though.