Help, I think my mum is being scammed

heidiprincess13

Hi all. I think my mum is being scammed. She asked my sister in February this year her to take out £1000 from her Isa for a holiday that she was acting all funny about. She didn’t go on a holiday and when I asked her about it she told me she might go to London with her friend Sarah, but never went. 

She then messaged me today saying she wants to help her take money out of another Isa (roughly £6000). 

I have asked her what it’s for and she said to put in her bank. 

She usually has always had around £3000 in her bank account anyway. 

I have found out she has been talking to some man since November and she has never met him and won’t tell me anything about him. 

I have managed to find his email, but he has ask my mum to message him on Google chat now. 

What can I do as I have asked her and she won’t tell me anything. 

In December last year she was viewing houses and never told us, they are houses she can’t and will never be able to afford and it all just seems really odd and I’m really worried. Thank you in advance 

sheramber

Why does she need help to withdraw her money?

You can refuse to help her withdraw it.

MikeJXE

She is likely being romance scammed and she won't tell you because she believes him and he has told her to tell no one. 

Dazed_and_C0nfused

And sadly she is highly unlikely to believe you over any romance scammer.

MikeJXE

I would suggest you find some YouTube videos on romance scams to try and convince her

It's going to be difficult as she is probably smitten, he has told her he loves her and making all sorts of excuses he can't access his own funds or he hasn't got any and wants to come to see her or has a family crises

It's a good chance he is abroad or on an oil rig or a doctor without borders 

You name it scammers are very well educated in the art of scamming they are very professional 

elsien

How old is your mother? Are there any other family members that she might listen to a little more?
Show her this 
https://www.actionfraud.police.uk/a-z-of-fraud/romance-scams
and this

https://crimestoppers-uk.org/keeping-safe/fraud/romance-fraud

You need to be aware that if she sending money abroad, then the chances are recovering the money from the bank if she is scammed are very remote because  transactions abroad are not covered by the voluntary banking code.

diystarter7

Hi

Sorry to hear about that

Ask her what happened to the 1k, push her about it even if you fall out a little.
Seems like a scam


i am safely assuming mum has capacity and there is nothing you can do
other than to tell her about a story you have seen/read in the media about romance scams,

Does mum have siblings that she may listen to? But be aware mum may get very very upset
about you talking to others behind her back.

I'm not sure what else you cann do

Good luck

cymruchris

You may find that the 'usual' £3000 in her current account is no longer there. 

Are you using power of attorney in terms of currently helping her moving her money around?

If you're confident that she's being scammed - can you involve other family members to try and dig into what's happening and put up a united front to show how dating scams are prevalent, and that if she is the victim, you're not going to say 'I told you so!' She might already realise she's being scammed but doesn't want the shame of someone in the family finding out, and doesn't know how to get out of it.

Are you able to join up with a couple of family members or friends and go around and have a frank chat with her, but from the standpoint of support and help, and not victim blaming? (I'm sure you wouldn't intend to make her 'feel bad' but it is one of the unintended consequences when people end up saying things like 'how could you be so stupid?' doesn't really help matters)

MikeJXE

Flag it with her bank they might do something about it but I could be wrong 

dil1976

diystarter7 said:

Hi

Sorry to hear about that

Ask her what happened to the 1k, push her about it even if you fall out a little.
Seems like a scam


i am safely assuming mum has capacity and there is nothing you can do
other than to tell her about a story you have seen/read in the media about romance scams,

Does mum have siblings that she may listen to? But be aware mum may get very very upset
about you talking to others behind her back.

I'm not sure what else you cann do

Good luck

Why would you even think of suggesting that, that is going to make their mum push them further away from them than help. Their mother has been manipulated by someone and being controlled and you suggest something like that! I suggest you think about what you post before doing so!

heidiprincess13

she is 72 but switched on, just gullible. she is no good with computers, online Banking etc. when i ask her she says to stop asking questions. i’m going to see her tomorrow night but didn’t know if i can contact her bank to make them aware. i’m just so worried