Help, I think my mum is being scammed

cymruchris

heidiprincess13 said:

So I have been to my mums and she has been scammed out of £4000!!! 

It was the im a widow, with a son, I work on a ship, my money is tied up!!!


my mum is so sad. I called the non emergency police, they couldn’t do much but they are sending someone round to speak to her to make sure she understands she has been scammed and I have logged it with action fraud. 

I also called her bank but as she only used her card to buy vouchers there is nothing they can do. 

She got upset but I was harsh but kind. I have told her not to delete the messages from him just in case action fraud want them but I have told her not to reply. 

Thank you everyone for your comments. She wanted her Isa as she only has £500 left in her bank. I have told her that will be enough and she has agreed. 

He has taken nearly all her savings !

Thanks for coming back and updating us - and it’s not the best outcome, and sadly as you feared, but at least it’s out in the open and you can both work your way through it. It’s a lot of money to lose, but at least it’s now stopped before it got onto anything silly like buying/selling property. 

She’ll definitely need some support in the coming weeks, as I can imagine she’ll possibly get very depressed as the realisation kicks in. 

You might need to be there for her a bit more than usual while she processes what’s happened. Be as cheery as you can be - and let her know that you and the rest of the family are there to support her. She’s not the first and sadly won’t be the last to fall for these scammers. 

diystarter7

elsien said:

The police also have an unfortunate tendency to tell people to refer to Action Fraud rather than doing anything pro-active themselves. I have found this in my line of work where fraudsters were taking a vulnerable client to the bank and emptying her bank account. They took 10K in a month. 
The local police did nothing to investigate. just said refer to action fraud, but Action Fraud are there to get a picture of what is happening nationally and they do not deal with individual cases. 

Hi

There is no harm is trying.
Please see my posts where I as a local gov officer was listened by cleinnts where they ignored the same info/advice from family and friends. 
It luck of the draw and who you speak to i any organsation inc police and if that was my mum, I would have gone to the ppolice and told them I was at my wits ends etc please talk to her and hopefully mum would agree if if she was in a similar situation as I'd never forve myself for not trying.  It is good that OP has no contacted the police as at times victims feel too ashmaed etc even though they have done nothing wrong and are victims of crime

Thnak

Sarahspangles

heidiprincess13 said:

She has a farce book message to start with then moved her on to Google chat. 

She is just lonely but has a great group of friends. She is going to speak to her closest friend later today as they had warned her. She feels awful for lying. But I have draw a line and if anyone ever asks for money, vouchers etc she is to call me.

I can’t thank you all enough for your comments 

Not the outcome we hoped for but at least it’s now over.

If she’s the only widowed or divorced person in a social group that is otherwise couples, maybe that isn’t helping?  A wider social group in the real world might help, it doesn’t have to solely be oriented at pensioners either. 

Pollycat

Sea_Shell said:

Pollycat said:

heidiprincess13 said:

She has a farce book message to start with then moved her on to Google chat. 

She is just lonely but has a great group of friends. She is going to speak to her closest friend later today as they had warned her. She feels awful for lying. But I have draw a line and if anyone ever asks for money, vouchers etc she is to call me.

I can’t thank you all enough for your comments 

Why is she lonely if she has friends?
Are her days empty?
Perhaps she could look into starting a course at a school. Possibly IT for beginners or something similar. Or even going to tea dances or join a local ramblers group.
Or maybe volunteer in a charity shop.

She needs a big hug and a bunch of flowers.
Well done to you for stepping in and sorting it out.

Friends can't give you "romance" though.     

Agreed.
But a few of my suggestions might do...if she is looking for romance.

Malthusian

elsien said:

The police also have an unfortunate tendency to tell people to refer to Action Fraud rather than doing anything pro-active themselves. I have found this in my line of work where fraudsters were taking a vulnerable client to the bank and emptying her bank account. They took 10K in a month. 
The local police did nothing to investigate. just said refer to action fraud, but Action Fraud are there to get a picture of what is happening nationally and they do not deal with individual cases. 

...And Action Fraud's only other responsibility, other than logging the fraud on their database, is to refer the case to the relevant police department... which is your local police force. 
So the local police force telling you to go to Action Fraud is nonsensical - unless you understand that what they were actually saying was "We don't care, move along".
@OP: I echo the advice to look at registries and call blockers. Your mother's contact details will now be re-sold to other scammers many times over and she is likely to be the target of other scams. She may be on her guard against romance scams but this might not stop her falling for other varieties. Are you getting Lasting Powers of Attorney sorted?

baser999

We’ve always instilled into my mother not to deal with any unsolicited callers but suggest that they call myself or my brother; surprisingly we’ve never had any calls. Sadly she’s now so visually impaired and immobile, she can’t even get to her phone before the caller rings off. She can’t see to access emails (which are very rare) but which I can monitor from home. 

Robin9

@baser999  Has your mum got a BT call blocker phone ?

diystarter7

heidiprincess13 said:

So I have been to my mums and she has been scammed out of £4000!!! 

It was the im a widow, with a son, I work on a ship, my money is tied up!!!


my mum is so sad. I called the non emergency police, they couldn’t do much but they are sending someone round to speak to her to make sure she understands she has been scammed and I have logged it with action fraud. 

I also called her bank but as she only used her card to buy vouchers there is nothing they can do. 

She got upset but I was harsh but kind. I have told her not to delete the messages from him just in case action fraud want them but I have told her not to reply. 

Thank you everyone for your comments. She wanted her Isa as she only has £500 left in her bank. I have told her that will be enough and she has agreed. 

He has taken nearly all her savings !

Hi OP

Sorry about that and a sincere thank you for updating/sharing as this is appreciated and anyone else reading this thread may help to point them on the right direction. IMO, mum has learned her lesson and the more love and kidness she get from you, the better

I'm sure you will but I do need to say that be fully supported as mum must be feeling low/embarrassed/etc/etc and won't possibly want others to find out other than you and siblings, so respect her wishes as I sure you will. Going to the police is a credit to your mum as at times people are too embarrassed to involve them.

Good luck to all of you.

EssexHebridean

@heidiprincess13 I'm so sorry to hear your update - lining up against a wall and shooting would be too god for these people wouldn't it! Well done too for managing to get to the bottom of things without your Mum ending up upset with you - not least as you'll now be far better placed to give her ongoing support than if you'd taken the suggestion earlier in the thread to go on at her even if she got angry with you. 

Although not everyone is a "mixer" some of Pollycat's (I think) suggestions for her to get out and about a bit more might be worth exploring - particularly if your Mum is tending to feel a bit lonely sometimes. Having a lot of friends is great - but often those people will also have their own families and she might feel that she can't call on them as often as she might like, perhaps. 

Good advice above for her to be wary of other scams too - and again, striking a balance on her being cautious without her ending up as fearful of absolutely everyone will be a tricky line to walk. It might be worth her considering starting a new email account and getting all her legitimate accounts etc switched over to using that? 

I wish her lots of luck in moving forwards and getting past what must be a really traumatic experience for her. 

baser999

Robin9 said:

@baser999  Has your mum got a BT call blocker phone ?

It’s a BT unit, will have to check. I must admit that since she’s stopped being able to answer them, they’re cut down enormously, must have realised she’s a ‘no-answer’ subscriber 😏