Escape to the country & living off savings

KajiKita

You sound exhausted and I can understand why you found the lurkers so unsettling. 

I think it's good advice about the police and neighbourhood watch and everything Tresinia said.

One small extra thought from me. Could you book a break away somewhere for after the funeral for a few days, just so you know you've got some respite coming up? A change of scene, someone else doing doing the cooking etc. Just think it might help to have 'something to look forward to' and it sounds like you need a break? 

Sending hugs x

KK    

doingitanyway

I would be unsettled too in that situation. Hopefully nothing and great someone is going in and out on a regular basis. It would be surprising if you weren't feeling low and tired. Take care x

Skint_yet_Again

….. and breathe 🥺

So begins a new chapter during which I must not lose myself. It would be so easy just to shut down and fall down a rabbit hole but that would not help anything or anyone. 

I have gone overdrawn into my previously unused arranged overdraft for a few hours by £2.06. As soon as I realised I transferred £5 from diy/emergency pot. I didn’t get a warning text from the bank until the next day. So we will see if I get charged and appeal if I do. I have £40 cash in my purse and lots of odds and ends in my freezer to last me until next friday. Seem to have lost time and can’t believe it’s almost September. Must get back into budgeting and meal planning and healthy eating again otherwise DF would have been very cross with me 😉

So, most notifications are done. (Banks / pensions / tell us once / utilities/ insurances). House and car insurance sorted. Car remains insured on dad’s policy as long as it remains off the road and not being driven. Dvla stated no need to sorn or tax the car or change V5c whilst off the road & intending to sell. Letter sent to them to confirm (as advised by them). Lasting power of attorney sent off to Office of the public guardian for cancellation. House now classed as unoccupied as sister has gone home, but still insured on dad’s policy for 60 days (max unoccupied period allowed in the policy) or end of policy whichever is soonest, apart from accidental damage to the building. Policy expires end Sept but that gives us some breathing space. Sister comes back on Tuesday to stay at mine. 

So, after a lovely carvery lunch yesterday everyone has gone home. It was lovely to see DS and his gf along with puppy dog and golden child. The quiet was deafening. I walked to my friends for a cuppa then home again and I got the hoover out and got rid of all the dog hair from the living room, dusted and put things back in their place and it feels peaceful. Popped back to dads and closed the curtains then home and chilled for the night. I could have gone with my sister but I just want to get my little home cleaned and get back into some routine of normality. 

So, this weekend will be a mix of cleaning and washing and chilling. Towels and guest bedding lined up hoping for some dry breezy weather. List of jobs parked here to keep a check on myself 

Wash towels 
wash guest bedding 
make up spare bed for sister to stay
Hoover kitchen/ diner 
Mop floors 
Clean bathroom 
Mop bathroom floor 
Clear and organise the cupboard under the stairs where everything was shoved out of the way 🤦‍♀️ (Can’t bear this and can’t get to the freezer)
Cut dads grass & weed / spray weeds 

Off to my friends on Sunday. Monday is a bank holiday. Sister back Tuesday for final bank visit on the train and the hardest bit - start valuing house contents. How do you put a value on your parents/ childhood 😢 but I know we have to, the same as I did when mum passed and the bay of E helps with prices. Seeing my niece and little‘lad. Planning on going back to aquafit next Friday. 

KajiKita

Well done for trying so hard to be practical and sensible about all of this … Must be so hard. 

You have a plan though and gradually you’ll get through it all. Lovely that you got to spend time with DS and his little family ❤️ Sending hugs x

KK

KajiKita

Well done for trying so hard to be practical and sensible about all of this … Must be so hard. 

You have a plan though and gradually you’ll get through it all. Lovely that you got to spend time with DS and his little family ❤️ Sending hugs x

KK

KajiKita

Well done for trying so hard to be practical and sensible about all of this … Must be so hard. 

You have a plan though and gradually you’ll get through it all. Lovely that you got to spend time with DS and his little family ❤️ Sending hugs x

KK

SuzeQStan

SYA - was so pleased to see you had posted today I cannot tell you!  I was actually coming on here to send you a little message of support and then I saw you had posted ❤️

you are so organised but please do plan time to chill and relax as you say ♥️ we definitely don’t want you falling down that rabbit hole or becoming lost. You are precious cargo! xx

I’m not sure who you bank with but going into overdraft for a few hours shouldn’t result in a fine - I had the same happen to me a couple years ago and was reassured on chat on my bank app that fine didn’t get charged if it was rectified the same day.  

Plans for this weekend sound nice - glad your sister is back on Tuesday. 

 Re valuing - this might be a terrible idea and feel hugely impersonal but in my family we have always used auction. They know the value of things and take care of everything (obviously at a cost)  and are experienced in these matters.  Just mentioning as it might take some pressure off and gives you opportunity to keep aside for yourself and family the items in your dad’s home which are important to you, without having the overwhelming task of dealing with all of it.

Sending virtual hugs and support xx

Skint_yet_Again

Thanks Kajikita and Suze 💕 

We may use the local auction house for valuation of some items (jewellery mostly) but lots of items you can value yourself using auction sites. Some items will maybe go to auction to be sold but lots will be going to the british ❤️ foundation as they collect. We are going to look at it next week. To be honest there wasn’t much left as dad had got rid of a lot of unwanted stuff over the years since mum passed after checking first if any of us wanted it. 

Tresinia511

Sya, nice to see you posting again. Good luck with the house clearance.  I did this with my sister and we used the opportunity at every stage to pause and reminisce about our childhoods and family events and memories.  Strangely cathartic. Comforting even.  Even when everything was gone from inside the house we left a kettle and teabags and stood against the kitchen counter,  embedding it all in our memories for the future.  It helped us

Newstartforme

So nice to hear from you SYA , I don't think you'll be charged for the small overdraft ammount. You will be busy over the next few weeks ,I am sure you and your sister will find some things you had forgotten about and reminisce , take good care of yourself and enjoy aquafit when you return xx