Breakdown of relationship, house and rental nightmare

FirstCoffee

OP - from what you've disclosed here, you've been plenty generous and more than reasonable. Post break-up, it can be hard to walk that tightrope of exercising your rights while wanting to keep things amicable. 

A tone of "I'm very sorry but we just can't remain in limbo like this, it's been XX months and it really is now time for us both to move on." is probably what's called for. 

Be firm, insistent. Try not to lose your temper, tempting as it may be. If she gets defensive, just repeat what you've said, and re-emphasise what you've done. It sounds like you still care for her to some degree. That's certainly not a bad thing, but just try to be aware of the danger of her exploiting that and walking all over you, even when she doesn't mean to do that.  

_Penny_Dreadful

skemp1 said:

Just to answer a question.

The reason I am giving her the money to move on with is that when we met she did have a fully setup 3 bedroomed house and her kids were in school in that area.

She's moved 50 minutes away from there to me, her kids have moved schools and she sold/gave up most of her belongings.

I am trying to do the right thing by not just her, but her children by giving them a bit of time to find somewhere suitable. 

In the last week it has seemed that there is reluctance to do so and I am getting statements from her like she has some kind of choice about when she moves even if it takes months and months. 

This is why I asked about rights etc.....   

She has next to no rights to remain living in the property.  I understand finding a new home in the right catchment area might be challenging but at the moment there is no deadline and unless you are firm it will continue to be one excuse after another.

CurlySue2017

katkatmachine said:

I don’t think changing the locks and just kicking her out would solve this. Since you allowed her to stay in your house for a long period she’s now a tenant so you need to serve her notice that she needs to move out, probably just what RAS wrote in his comment above. If her kids are also underage and she still doesn’t want to leave this might be a problem. So yeah, maybe you need to speak to a lawyer. 

Utter rubbish, please do not do this

saajan_12

Legally - no rights. If she had contributed, at best she'd be a lodger / excluded occupier (reasonable notice, so a week or 2?), but if she's just paid for food / clothes then she's a guest (0 notice). 

Morally / Emotionally - in light of the kids and the life she perhaps thought she was building with you, you might not want to lock her out immediately.
However she does need to be independent at some point, so with all the saving, her income alone will need to cover the monthly rent. Savings would help to fund a deposit / furniture / moving costs / some rent upfront if she has poor credit. £17k should be plenty for that, plus she should have any income while she's been living with you rent free. Some rentals come furnished and besides, doesn't have to be top of the line or fully furnished, just enough for her and kids to have somewhere to sit and sleep, with the rest coming as and when she saves up. Also doesn't have to be the forever home, renting is a relatively short term commitment so could be a stepping stone house that'll do for a year or two before moving to somewhere better if / when she can afford. 

So what to do.. I'd discuss and follow up on a text / email that she needs to move out by <<X date 1 month away?>>. Then remind that every couple of weeks to make sure its clear you haven't forgotten or extended that. If the date comes and she isn't gone, 

Exodi

saajan_12 said:

If the date comes and she isn't gone, 

The suspense is killing me!

tigertrio

Kick her out.

Xenon

Simply be firm but fair

A set deadline non negotiable

Your kids are your priority not hers

You have already been more than generous

pinkshoes

Remind her you sold YOUR car as a gesture of goodwill so she had more than enough money to sort out a rental.

Tell her that she has 2 weeks to move out, and after this time she is no longer able to stay.

Can you get a friend to move in as a lodger in two weeks time? Tell her you've offered the room(s) in your house to a friend as of 1st February so she needs to leave.

MikeJXE

You have conflicting views a lawyer not a lawyer

What are you going to do if you kick her and her kids out and she gets one ? 

propertyrental

MikeJXE said:

You have conflicting views a lawyer not a lawyer

What are you going to do if you kick her and her kids out and she gets one ? 

Obviously it would depend what that lawyer tells her. Probably that she has no case against you. 

But lawyers can be paid to write threatening letters, worded vaguely so they don't actually make legal claims that are untrue. If you receive such a letter you could either ignore it, or pay a lawyer to write a response....