Progress not Perfection

foxgloves

Oh dear, additional beer isn't at all helpful when taking balance & digestive problems into account. I think there's likely to be some truth in what you often say, @Sun_Addict, that Mr SA gets bored being at home all day & goes around looking for things to do. I expect they provide an additional little kick if they are things he knows you would perceive as 'naughty'. I wouldn't like having my access to things curtailed as an adult either, but where alcohol, stairs, falls, etc, are concerned, it is you who would have to deal with the consequences, both dealing with paramedic call-outs plus any possible cleaning up. It isn't fair. I don't think what has happened to Mr SA's physical & mental capabilities is fair either, but there does need to be some acknowledgement (& gratitude) that you have a very big workload with working full time, being his carer & looking after the home. I think you are also of slight build, so you are in no way able to lift or move a big bloke on your own, especially from a prone position to standing. I don't know what the answer is, as I suspect that with him still getting out & about on his scooter & being able (?) to do the tasks that often seem to be tested (making a hot drink, sandwich, getting to the loo, getting dressed, showering, etc), & with adult social care stretched to breaking point, that Mr SA may still be beneath the threshold for meaningful intervention. I may be wrong though as my experience of this is limited. It's such a difficult situation for you & I can feel your frustration levels rising. Did the brain injury affect impulse control? If so, that could explain the sneaky extra beer drinking, idk. Glad you have now hidden it away, but what a nuisance that you need to do so.

liselle

And yes, I suspect the Ambulance Crew wouldn’t have spoken to a male carer like that, if the roles were reversed.Disgraceful behaviour and they should know better.

enthusiasticsaver

Hiding the beer and the money may be the way to go SA but you should not have to do that.  I do think there is some truth in the fact he is obviously bored during the day and gets a kick from doing something he knows will annoy you.  Incredibly unfair.  Is he in a position to buy this beer himself? My feeling would be to stop buying it altogether or rationing given he probably should not be drinking beer as that will aggravate IBS. If he would then troop out to buy himself on his scooter that would make it worse.  So whereas I get that buying in bulk is probably cheaper my inclination would be to ration him by maybe just buying a four pack on a Friday to last over the weekend and then no more until the following Friday.  You may get grief but in the long run it might be better. 

The ambulance crew were out of order suggesting you move to a bungalow to make their lives easier. 

ThriftyPrincess40

Your diary is inspiring, I’m now following ❤️

Cherryfudge

I think I'm with @enthusiasticsaver, and would suggest he buys his own beer, even if it's cheaper to do it when there's an offer. Perhaps a small increase in his personal money to make it more realistic, but at the moment if it's there. it's tempting him. It's awful that he was taking your money, though he may not see it as yours so much as 'that's where money is to be found'.

Definitely complain if ever you get that tone of comment off an ambulance crew again - have they not heard of the Mental Capacity Act?

Sun_Addict

Thank you all for your kind comments. 

@foxgloves Mr SA gets obsessions mainly lip balms, man bags, shoes and beer. He has to have all of them in quantity. It's to do with the area of his brain that's damaged. I doubt very much social services would do anything as our adult daughter still lives with us and she would be seen as capable of looking after him if I was out of action as was the case both times I broke my leg. 

@liselle yes you're right, he wouldn't have spoken to a male carer like that. I should've complained and will do if it (hopefully not) happens again.

@enthusiasticsaver and @Cherryfudge letting him buy his own beer wouldn't work. He buy a whole crate and if he saw it as coming out of his own spends he wouldn't let me take it off him. When he's been bought beer for Christmas/birthdays he guards it like treasure and won't let me take it away. Plus there's the added danger of him buying what he'd really like which is the high alcohol content ones like Stella - at the moment he has quite weak lager. He's currently on a waiting list to be seen by the IBD team and they may well say he has to cut it out altogether, whether he takes any notice of this is another matter.

@frisby40 hello - I'm not sure I'm inspiring but thank you anyway 😊

Sun_Addict

That's my working week done 🙂

Worked in the office but left mid-morning to finish up at home. Thursday is usually a WFH day but as I'm off tomorrow and Tuesday this threw out my 60% of days available I have to be in the office. There is never any business need for me to be in the office as I sit on my own, I don't collaborate with anyone and often don't even speak to anyone. I'm in a very small team and they're all based in Scotland so turning up is just a tick box exercise. Anyway it's done, the box has been ticked. 

Claimed my free coffee. 

Stopped off at Lid! on the way home.

Saw a good deal on the Sh@rk spot cleaner £50 off for 24 hours. It's been on my wish list for a while so I've bought it. I love their carpet cleaner but it's too bulky to manage properly on the stairs so I'm hoping this small cleaner will do the job. It will also be handy for the odd stain that appears without having to do the whole carpet.

Mr SA took the dog out when I got home so I grabbed the opportunity to release his beer allowance. When he got back he'd been in the charity shop again and had bought himself a sports top for £4. I'm just glad we don't have a men's full priced clothes shop here or I dread to think how much he'd spend. He's happy with it so it'll shut him up for a while. 

Today's exercise has been walking to/from work, a lunchtime live strength training session and it's Zumba tonight. I'm rolling over the Rick advent challenge to tomorrow as it's 40 minutes and I don't have that amount of time to spare today plus I've already done 19,833 steps with Zumba yet to come which usually adds around 5,000 steps so don't really need another 5,000 steps on top of that. Might come in handy tomorrow though. 

Tonight's dinner is veggie sausage cassoulet.

Mr SA couldn't find the paint roller extension pole anywhere so I was about to order a new one when I had a flash of inspiration - the curtain pole I took down in my home office fits the roller handle perfectly. So that's saved a bit of money. 

Makingabobor2

Good thinking on the curtain pole. We kept an old mop handle for the same purpose

foxgloves

That is true 'shopping from home', @Sun_Addict!

Sun_Addict

foxgloves said:

That is true 'shopping from home', @Sun_Addict!

Sure is 🤣🤣