Feels like im going under!

jusferbrowsing

You need to start believing you deserve better. You really do.

Cressida100

I've been following the thread. It's good to see you posting again but the news is awful. Please re-read the whole thread and try and understand that you have to get away from this awful woman. I didn't want to bad mouth your wife but for the sake of your health and your children (how old are they?) you need to get away from her. 

Makingabobor2

Cressida100 said:

I've been following the thread. It's good to see you posting again but the news is awful. Please re-read the whole thread and try and understand that you have to get away from this awful woman. I didn't want to bad mouth your wife but for the sake of your health and your children (how old are they?) you need to get away from her. 

Couldn't agree more. And if you can't leave her, then she has to leave you. You really must seek legal advice.  I had my ex removed from the house by court action, for emotional abuse many years ago, where there were children involved as well, and he was basically trying to spend all the money. Not sure how the law is these days....it was over 30 years ago, but do seek legal advice. 

foxgloves

Yes, I agree. It sounds as though she is eroding your self-respect - understandably with her appalling behaviour. But you have achieved a lot. The one thing you couldn't do is continue living outside your means. It wasn't sustainable. You are doing the right thing. Your partner is living in fantasy land.
I do think you need to be seeking legal advice. Is there anyone amongst your joint friends to whom you could talk (especially if they were at either of the unpleasant incidents)? It doesn't feel like much just to send you good wishes for a resolution to this awful situation, but it is kindly & genuinely meant. I think you will need to be the proactive one here. 
As for the £20 grocery shopping? Well, such is life. If we only have £20 to spare, then that is what we do. It did take me a couple of decades to reverse my overspending/borrowing mindset, but the truth is that reality eventually catches up with us & payback time rolls in. I'm sorry your wife doesn't 'get' this. She doesn't have to like it, but it isn't difficult to see that the overspending had reached its natural end & all the L*dl car park tantrums in the world won't change that.
Please take care of yourself. The shed arrangement is absolutely unacceptable on every level.
F

ladyholly

I have just read your latest post and am truly disgusted by the behaviour of your wife although I believe she is a wife in name only. Husbands and wives support each other not try to destroy the other.  I am not going to offer any advice as you know what you must do for yourself and your children but please dont be ashamed of having mental health problems. It is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed by. It is no more shameful than having a physical illness. Take care and seek support, your friends and colleagues may be more willing to offer support than you think.

triple_choc_chip

I feel I need to post to show support and solidarity but I cannot offer much else.  Your situation is miserable and I cannot believe you are sleeping outdoors.  

We cannot dictate what you choose to make of your future or whether you stay in the relationship but I will say this - it is telling that she hasn’t ended the marriage properly if life is so bad and you are such a failure, by making you go away or asking for a divorce.  

There seems instead to be a need to punish and humiliate you, there’s a cruel streak and she’s kicking you when you are already down. Please reach out to friends, you only need one onside to make everything more manageable.

Good luck.

curly_moose

I’m sorry to hear things are still tough. Does your work have an Employee Assistance Programme? Even if you’re off work you ought to be able to access things like legal advice and counselling through that. It will be confidential.

enthusiasticsaver

I am sorry things are so tough and yes your radio silence did concern me.  Remember your wife has no right to lock you out of the house.  It is  your house too. I realise it is hard to be assertive when you are feeling so rough but she is a bully and honestly a nasty spiteful piece of work (that is being polite).  Forget what she thinks she is entitled to.  She is living in cloud cuckoo land and you need to focus solely on your own mental health and your children. I think you need some legal advice on how to deal with her. Honestly she sounds like the one with mental health issues. 

oceandreamer

I've only just come across this thread but just wanted to send a virtual hug for all you've been through.  Try and keep strong and please keep posting so we know you're alright.  There are so many posts from people who genuinely care about you here, so please try and take some strength from that.  It's hard to envisage leaving a relationship after so long, however difficult it has become but you only have one life and you deserve so much more than this.  Take care.

sparks_2023

Terrible.

I'll be blunt.

You are sleeping in the shed. She is in fact just keeping you in a kennel.

She'll kick you out of that with her next escalation and you'll be homeless. And she will escalate - nothing will be too cruel for her. And all the while she'll be telling the world ( and your children ) that you went off the rails with "your mental health issues".Luckily the children will not buy that lie forever.

You hinted that your job may be at risk. Well to me that is the one area of your life that you are away from the madness.

My advice : Do all you can to keep that job. And move out to your own ( probably small but better than a shed ) accommodation.

Then you can breath and take stock.