Moving on with things

MFWannabe

2-3 hours cleaning a day?! 😱 that’s extreme! 

If you don’t want your wife to do it how about getting a cleaner a couple of times a week? That takes the pressure off you both; I can’t see any house that needs that extent of cleaning every day? 

You really need to take the pressure off yourself otherwise you’ll burn out; those 2-3 hours a day can be better spent spending time with your wife and son; going for a walk, relaxing or going to the gym 

daisy_1571

yes, we've had  multiple cats, cats and dog, 2 dogs at various times (plus a messy Mr and Mrs daisy) and I would very much doubt we do that over a fortnight.  

Each to their own, but unless its unhygienic,  I think there's better things i want to do with my time    

How about follow fly lady?  Or organised mum has a printable thing which has 15 minutes of things to do every day plus mon to thurs its one category of room, so each week it takes you round the whole house. Every friday its Friday focus - a different area that gets a bigger clean in an 8 week cycle.  So you know every 2 months you are back deep cleaning/clearing each area so nothing is ever too big a job.  Work smarter, not harder as they say

MammaOftwo

Hope its okay to post on your thread Alt, I posted a couple of times on your previous thread and dip into this one every now and then.  Your commitment and determination to keeping on the straight path for your health, finances and for the good of your family is flipping inspiring.

I hope the school thing works out, there's more than one school out there for your son and he's at an age to know that he's fortunate and there isn't an unlimited supply of money, even those kids in very wealthy families can have their own challenges anyway.  My child was at an indie prep and wanted to go to the most expensive senior school in our area, she was below average academically and pretty good but not the best at music or sport but she worked her butt off and gained multiple scholarships which gave a significant discount off the fees which made it affordable and she's kept that work ethic and determination up which is probably one of the most useful things she could learn at any school.  

ladyholly

I wish you lived nearer then I would gladly give you cleaning to do. At the moment my home is worse than usual due to clearing my bills house. He had a large 4 bedroom detached house. I have a 3 bedroom terrace which is now full of boxes of things to sell. Just a quick dust and vacuum - I'm not fussy.

alt80

I still haven’t sorted the balances yet, need to make it a priority for tomorrow tbf. Had a drive out today and a nice lunch in the countryside- part of my therapy but my family enjoyed it too. Friday wasn’t great, had something come up at work which meant a late night sorting through a bit of a mess idk one of those things. Some action nearby with two bombs found in Lenton yesterday, there were cop cars everywhere.

@MFWannabe I have a cleaner who cleans some of my property, communal spaces etc. they are ok but not to the standard I like for my own home. I’ve had burn out for years and years, nothing helps for me to overcome it. 

@daisy_1571 I can’t leave rooms tbf I used to be able to. There was a time my wife went to stay with her parents when I wasn’t in a good way addiction wise. I was trying to stay off the stuff, not doing well but I did the same list I gave my wife to do. That was a rotation similar to your attachment but with bathrooms and kitchen alternating between each day, and adding cars and external glazing once a week. 

@MammaOftwo thank you. My family is my biggest motivator to push through and keep on the path. 

I had never considered my son may be able to win scholarships as he is not really academic, loves his music and sport but isn’t really stand out talented. Painfully average probably describes my son’s school performance. Possibly sounds like I am putting him down, I’m actually very proud of him but I acknowledge where he stands amongst his classmates and he’s not the worst and not the best at anything. All that said we do selfishly want to keep him at his current school for numerous reasons and he is doing well, it’s just that he has realised some friends will be moving on and an influx of new people will arrive in the senior school. 

@ladyholly and I would have politely declined ha, I’m not after a new !!!!!! business lol. 

Clearing a house is awful, ending up with all sorts of boxes etc. my wife helped her parents clear out her grandparents’ place. It was horrible for all kinds of reasons, you have my sympathy. Whilst I’d been involved in some way or another professionally many times over, I realised it was very different when you have an attachment to the person who lived in the house.

daisy_1571

not putting him down, just a clear eyed assessment.   Better that than assuming he is wonderful at everything in spite of the evidence and putting unrealistic standards on him.  Average at a lot of things is great.  Sadly some people cannot enjoy an activity unless they are top dog which must spoil so many things for them.  

stymied

@alt80 have you actually asked your wife if she’s happy for you to take over the cleaning? Given that it was her way of contributing she may not 100% appreciate it IYSWIM?

mark55man

keep going Alt80 - A lot of secondary schools take catchments from all over, so whilst it is nice to have a few friends from your primary for confidence almost no-one only retains those as friends.  Typically school timetable will force contact with loads of new people.  Plus although you can see it and your DS probably can't - its a huge leap in maturity being at secondary so will have plenty of new things going on to keep him happy

alt80

Had a day off from technology yesterday to be present for my family and just try to relax tbh, I struggle not to look at emails etc. It does mean I will either look at the personal finances tonight or tomorrow. I do know I'm looking at clearing iro £2.5k off the balance with the sale of the number plate and a month which has not been overly expensive. 

@daisy_1571 might be just my opinion as I wasn't particularly brilliant at anything at school either but I agree regarding being average at most things isn't bad. Tbh I think it's easier than being very good at a couple of things and rubbish at everything else.

@stymied she doesn't see why I do it tbf and isn't best pleased as it gets in the way of us spending time together as a family. 

@mark55man thanks mate. It wasn't something we actually thought about much as we (naively?!) thought with him going to a good independent day school that they'd basically all just progress up from nursery through to seniors. There is an influx in the senior years from kids all over (tbf quite a few don't live what I would call locally now). Even though it is the same school it’s a different building, lot more commitments to sport etc., step up in maturity is a good way of putting it tbf, we’re both not convinced he’ll be ready for it this time next year. 

katsu

It's probably good for him get used to making new friends and people changing, as he will have further or higher education in a few years plus all the changes that come in jobs where people come and go.