Moving on with things

alt80

What a glorious bank holiday weekend it’s been so far. Always find we spend less money when it’s like this without any feelings of missing out.

@Baileys_Babe that is very true tbf, made me smile reading your post as I was feeling a little negative about how things are money wise. I’m not massively struggling, just general ups and downs of life really - still finishing work early on Fridays and having lunch with my wife before school pick up. So not completely burying myself in work like I used to.

We have met up with the returners for dinner when they were back a while ago, just them none of the other lot and it wasn’t great. I know that I am miserable and boring to them these days tbf - idk it’s just hard being told that. I don’t ever want to turn back to how things were no matter how boring it makes me tbf.

Thank you, she is doing really well and I’m enjoying supporting her, making sure she’s not alone and doesn’t have to deal with everything. Start up business is exciting but it can be !!!!!! brutal I know that and we don’t need that in our lives. Health first.

Trying to cherish every moment being a dad to my boy, I know it won’t be long before I’m not wanted or needed.

@satchmo1 tbf you’re right, she really seems to enjoy it. I’m not trying to take anything away from her, I suppose I’m still finding it very difficult to not feel like I need to repay her for sticking with me and that I don’t really deserve to have stayed married.

vampirotoothus

Hi Alt, you are not miserable and boring, your values are different and no longer aligned with your old friends. You have grown, maybe they haven't. Keep strong V x

Bargainhunter30

Remember the old adage 'a friendship is not always for life, sometimes just a season'. Maybe this friendship is over, you are not the same people. Sometimes it's better to end a friendship if it's making you miserable

RelievedSheff

Hey Alt. Good to hear from you.

Glad you enjoyed Scotland. It really is a beautiful country. So much to see and do.

Don't beat yourself up about being a different person now. We all change as we get older. Sometimes we just drift away from certain circles and old friends. But we make new friends along the way.

The new house is keeping us busy. We did get away in the van this bank holiday to Whitby for a couple of nights. It's only the second time we have used the van this year, we were all ready for the break.

Back too it this weekend though finishing off the utility room and having a look at the wine cooler which seems to have gone on the blink!. Always something to sort out………..

alt80

I’m just over four years in recovery and still never want to let my family’s life be blighted by addiction again. I still can’t consistently forgive myself for things I’ve done in the past, even though I know it is not helpful.

Business has been good, although I’m exhausted - alongside my own, I’ve got another practically full time job sorting all the odds and ends for my wife’s venture. I shouldn’t complain because it’s brilliant to see her building confidence in what she’s doing but I’m the one who keeps the new work rolling in and all the management / admin work. Her freelancers can be difficult in a way my full time staff aren’t too. Idk, I don’t directly see any money for it and I’m ready for a few weeks break lol.

Finances aren’t any different day to day, I think things will always be stretched. My wife said to me things will get easier when we don’t have school fees to pay anymore. Not sure she appreciated the reminder that we’ll have uni to pay for and after that come up with a decent deposit for him to be able to get on the housing ladder. Because business has been good to us over these past few months, all the surplus has gone into making additional contributions to our SSAS pension. I know I would’ve had a very different outlook a few years back but it’s nice to see that moving in the right direction. I’ll be 46 at the end of the year and my priorities are changing - I’m not sure I want to have the stress of running a business forever, or be a landlord for the rest of my days either.

My boy finished school for summer today and we’re back at Centre Parcs for the usual end of school year break with my in-laws. One year of seniors down, he got some outstanding results - all really unexpected when he started, he’s just really got his head down and seems to have found a thirst for learning we never knew he had. Things have settled down between him and the few wannabe hardmen lads although I don’t think they’ll find much common ground. We know that we need to slowly let him go and guide him towards his own independence but neither of us thought it would be this hard. He’s not going to let me read to him forever, in laws can’t believe we’ve got this far We are blessed he is not growing up quite as fast as some of his friends. However I know everyday I get is a bonus now, even my wife accepts that some things are just going to become the past and others already have.

@vampirotoothus @Bargainhunter30 @RelievedSheff you’re certainly right about old friends and lives diverging to a point where things have drifted too far apart for the friendship to remain. Both my wife and I have lost so many friendships over these past few years that we’ve been left with a very small circle.

@RelievedSheff hope you’re settling in well now and there’s been no more issues with appliances. Sounds like you’re really getting on with making the place your own. We probably need to do a few things at home over the next couple of years. I’d love to get the kitchen back up to the same standard we had in our old place. Money I’ll probably have to pull at remortgage time after the C63 is paid for. Doesn’t stop ha.

Humdinger1

Your old friends sound shallow, self-obsessed, and in desperate need of a reality check. They know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Not ill-wishing them @alt80 but this fantasy they've built is likely to come crashing down. You, on the other hand, are the exact opposite of this. You've pulled yourself up by your bootstraps. I was worried about you when I first read your diary. Now I'm proud of you. You're making a huge success of your life and don't need the approval of empty-headed fantasists. Keep going, you'll make new friends in tune with your real values. Love Humdinger x

in_need_of_direction

I don’t think you have any idea how many people you inspire. As for the guilt that remains, I’d say every parent has that although it may be for different reasons.

daisy_1571

hope all going well at chez alt

Dxxx