Moving on with things

BalanceBy50

alt80 said:

@warby68 thank you, hope things are on the up for you soon - tbh this time of year is enough alone to drag us down without factoring in anything else eh? Despite some of the other things going on, my mental health has largely been better than in a very long time. I’m still on the program aimed at tackling OCD and it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health. Haven’t had the not wanting to be here thoughts in a while and I’m driving again. Both I didn’t think would ever happen last year. 

Not struggling with cravings either - I just don’t want it in my life or close to my life. Feel very fortunate to be in this position. 

Most of my new starters at an entry level are grads or year out placement students. Plenty of rough diamonds there, ha and have to say I’ve found the same as your husband. However, it’s just heartbreaking to see how many young adults seem to have just resigned themselves to the scrap heap at such a young age. There’s no system to support them into making meaningful steps towards being ready to work and hold a job down so they sink or swim. More sink than should and as employers we can only offer so much support. I’m 100% sure if the population had access to the right coaching, healthcare and mentorship that more would come good and we’d be in a much better place as a country. 

My boy knows that I’ve not been very well and that we’ve been through some rough times. We know that he looks out for us in his own way and I think that he knew that us being just mum and dad was going to be difficult. He still lets me read to him every night but it seems to just be a matter of time now.

My Mrs is doing splendid, she has also been in therapy this year; she finds drawing a line under the past a lot easier than I do which has really helped her. It sounds ridiculous but doing her bike test and getting a motorbike has given her confidence to just give anything a go. Know it was you who said maybe she is just a late bloomer and I think that you’re right again haha. 

@katsu I don’t think fault lies entirely with this government, far from it. The last government’s time in power had to end, they were spending too much time tearing themselves apart rather than running the country. I agree that there are a lot of problems in and outside of the UK. Idk politically things seem more volatile than I can remember in my lifetime. 

Regarding benefits, I respectfully think you have interpreted my intent incorrectly; as one seeking to simply stigmatise the individual rather than a systemic problem of the state failing to adequately support those stuck in a cycle of worklessness. I am much more angry about how our taxes are spent, leaving swathes of the population seemingly helpless and stuck on state welfare rather than directing my anger towards the individuals themselves who largely will do what they feel is open to them as the best option. Our money (taxes) are imo grossly misappropriated and this is paid for by each of us who give more than we receive (in taxes). 

At the heart of my anger is a broken system starting with an NHS that gives people 10 minutes in front of a GP. I’ve had flack on here for seeing a private GP but I get 45 minutes to an hour with a professional who isn’t rushed and who I’ve developed a good relationship with. The population doesn’t have a relationship with their GP to plan their health, run periodic testing to benchmark, signpost to other health professionals to build relationships with where appropriate. If the population had access to a healthcare system that worked on building relationships with patients I reckon we’d have more people ready and able to work and less net recipients. As it sits relationships aren’t built between health professionals and patients and there is a culture of leaving people to deal with complex problems largely by themselves. I think that’s a lot of the reason we have many people on disability benefits due to mental health difficulties. Many other government services are the same - we are simply not getting value as tax payers. 

@Lonelygambler re car; haha 100% it’s a brute in a suit. Real Jekyll and Hyde car depending on the mood you’re in. 

What I find hard about Christmas addiction wise is remembering the times when it was fun rather than problematic, well before it crept into parts of my life it shouldn’t have. It saddens me to say no to some events / parties but I’d rather say no than open myself up to any potential risk. We do other things as a family and I always organise a really nice clean and alcohol free Christmas lunch with my staff. Had great feedback for it over these past few years too. 

 

@ryanm8655 I can’t really comment on the cars for people on disability benefits. It’s something I know nothing about and that particular announcement seemed a bit of a red herring to me. 

I hope that the comment about wanting to see others worse off wasn’t directed at me. I want to see, wherever possible, that people have the tools to thrive. As an employer I do whatever I can to give my staff opportunities and a supportive environment no matter what has been going on in my personal life. 

If I thought that our taxes were being spent to make peoples lives better, I would be a lot less angry about the amount I pay both company and personal. 

Fwiw I’m grateful for where I am in life and I appreciate no one is truly self made. I was offered opportunities that put my business on a trajectory of growth that had I not been at that particular place in time I perhaps wouldn’t have had. 

@Hazelnutty I’m sorry to see your post. I do write about all sorts of things on here and in this instance I was and am angry about the amount of tax I am paying that is affecting profit margins across practically all businesses but especially SMEs from a company point of view and the double whammy of reduced profits and additional taxation personally. I accept that I am in a privileged position but even so I’m feeling the pinch.  

Just wanted to say alt what a lovely measured post! Something that really stands out these days rather than some of your very early posts under the influence. It breaks my heart the state of parts of our country, I work in education which is on its knees and fills me with despair at times. My husband recently received a bonus which pushed him into a higher tax bracket & it really upset us both that we couldn’t enjoy it as much due to the tax paid. Next year his pay rise will take him into the higher tax bracket but due to tax threshold freezes we will be no better off even though prices are rising. And I am a dyed in the wool socialist too!!

Scott_Weiland79

We are the same my o/h is in the higher tax bracket.

I get an annual bonus at work , and work all year going above and beyond stay back etc 
 to achieve a certain rating and do loads of overtime, the tax is frustrating.