Moving on with things

daisy_1571

very wise words from katsu there 

Dxx

alt80

I’ve been off the radar for a bit as we’re just about keeping our heads above water here. Recently turned 45; no idea where time goes haha. I’ve had almost non stop winter colds since before the October half term, probably not helped by (relatively minor and planned) surgery and some stressful weeks recently in business.

Financially we’re managing - life is as expensive as ever. Budget tomorrow, just waiting to be robbed of more of our money off the government. I know that we are better off than most but even so, I worry about money a lot. My wife has been incredibly kind to me recently - she’s trying to help me to not put myself under so much pressure but I still have more days than not when I think that I should be able to give my wife and son more. I do have some days when I feel less shame about the past although recently there’s been one occasion I was faced with telling someone that I want no involvement with cocaine or the environments where it is rife because I have struggled with addiction. They were really supportive but I have tried to avoid them since.

Can’t quite believe I’m celebrating my first year free of credit card debt, idk it still seems surreal. Just as surreal as somehow being in my mid-40s and having a 12 year old boy ha. He seems to be growing everyday and has settled into senior school life a lot better than my wife and I expected. We should have listened to his teachers who said he’d be fine. On reflection, it’s been harder for my wife and I. He broke our hearts on his birthday asking us if we can be just mum and dad from now on after a few of the new friends had been laughing at us still being mummy and daddy to him. My wife is still really upset about it. Few years back I would have just laughed but idk we are just slowly losing our little boy.

Lot of problems with kids not much older than him causing havoc in the city centre, they’re not from his school but far too close in age. Doesn’t help I don’t think and idk what’s going on rn, seems to be hardly anything positive going on in the country generally not just here. 

@ryanm8655 glad to hear that your purchase is progressing - hope you’re nearing completion now. 

We love the C63 it’s a great car, last of an era. The Mk2 is good fun when it’s behaving but has caused us a few headaches haha. 

I wrote a response quite a few weeks back and couldn’t post it - one of my former employees isn’t in a position too dissimilar to your friend. It !!!!!! breaks me when I get the odd message. It was and is more booze for him but it destroyed his marriage during Covid times, barely seen his kids since. I had to let him go this year. I’ve told him my door is open whenever but I know more than most that it needs to be the right time for him. Doesn’t make it any easier. I wasn’t in the depths get to but getting to where I am now has been harrowing, I’ve had to face parts of myself that have broken me. I’ll never be the same man as I was but I have learned there is more strength in opening yourself to vulnerability than there is in burying the things you don’t want to deal with. People can and do get clean - I truly hope your friend will find strength to take the steps towards recovery for both him and his family. 

@Humdinger1 thank you for thinking of me. 

@katsu I definitely agree re keeping my opinion to myself in the company of others. Something that has come to me with age and a lot of counselling tbf I think. Idk I’ve been no saint in life myself and if I were them I probably wouldn’t like me much either. 

It’s far too late for me to think much more, need to get to bed but thank you. Also @daisy_1571.