Moving on with things

daisy_1571

very wise words from katsu there 

Dxx

alt80

I’ve been off the radar for a bit as we’re just about keeping our heads above water here. Recently turned 45; no idea where time goes haha. I’ve had almost non stop winter colds since before the October half term, probably not helped by (relatively minor and planned) surgery and some stressful weeks recently in business.

Financially we’re managing - life is as expensive as ever. Budget tomorrow, just waiting to be robbed of more of our money off the government. I know that we are better off than most but even so, I worry about money a lot. My wife has been incredibly kind to me recently - she’s trying to help me to not put myself under so much pressure but I still have more days than not when I think that I should be able to give my wife and son more. I do have some days when I feel less shame about the past although recently there’s been one occasion I was faced with telling someone that I want no involvement with cocaine or the environments where it is rife because I have struggled with addiction. They were really supportive but I have tried to avoid them since.

Can’t quite believe I’m celebrating my first year free of credit card debt, idk it still seems surreal. Just as surreal as somehow being in my mid-40s and having a 12 year old boy ha. He seems to be growing everyday and has settled into senior school life a lot better than my wife and I expected. We should have listened to his teachers who said he’d be fine. On reflection, it’s been harder for my wife and I. He broke our hearts on his birthday asking us if we can be just mum and dad from now on after a few of the new friends had been laughing at us still being mummy and daddy to him. My wife is still really upset about it. Few years back I would have just laughed but idk we are just slowly losing our little boy.

Lot of problems with kids not much older than him causing havoc in the city centre, they’re not from his school but far too close in age. Doesn’t help I don’t think and idk what’s going on rn, seems to be hardly anything positive going on in the country generally not just here. 

@ryanm8655 glad to hear that your purchase is progressing - hope you’re nearing completion now. 

We love the C63 it’s a great car, last of an era. The Mk2 is good fun when it’s behaving but has caused us a few headaches haha. 

I wrote a response quite a few weeks back and couldn’t post it - one of my former employees isn’t in a position too dissimilar to your friend. It !!!!!! breaks me when I get the odd message. It was and is more booze for him but it destroyed his marriage during Covid times, barely seen his kids since. I had to let him go this year. I’ve told him my door is open whenever but I know more than most that it needs to be the right time for him. Doesn’t make it any easier. I wasn’t in the depths get to but getting to where I am now has been harrowing, I’ve had to face parts of myself that have broken me. I’ll never be the same man as I was but I have learned there is more strength in opening yourself to vulnerability than there is in burying the things you don’t want to deal with. People can and do get clean - I truly hope your friend will find strength to take the steps towards recovery for both him and his family. 

@Humdinger1 thank you for thinking of me. 

@katsu I definitely agree re keeping my opinion to myself in the company of others. Something that has come to me with age and a lot of counselling tbf I think. Idk I’ve been no saint in life myself and if I were them I probably wouldn’t like me much either. 

It’s far too late for me to think much more, need to get to bed but thank you. Also @daisy_1571. 

lucielle

Great to hear from you. Glad that your son has settled in at school. 

L

daisy_1571

Glad to hear things are ticking along.  Cant say I remember when I went from baby talk to the more grown up mum and dad but its inevitable.  Id say it was many years before 12 though.  If he's a smart kid he'll have been amending his language out of the house for a long time and I'm assuming its at home in front of people he asked about?  He's a very polite little guy to ask permission,  I doubt many would do that, it would just naturally transition mum more than mummy over a short period of time.  You are raising a good kid (hope you didn't show him how upset you both were).

I wouldn't worry overly about the town kids.  Its news, there's no news in telling you about the thousands of kids doing their homework, going to clubs, helping do the dishes etc etc


Hope the colds get better, complete pain to go from one to another 

Dxx

Humdinger1

Fab to hear from you @alt80.  I had one friend who - even as an adult  - called her mum Semolina Silken-paws, while her father was known as Spleen by her and her two sisters. You're doing brilliantly love Humdinger x 

daisy_1571

😆 they sound a fun family 😆 🤣 

Humdinger1

They are @daisy_1571! Love Humdinger xx 

ryanm8655

Glad to hear things are ticking along chap. And also glad to hear your son is doing so well. While I understand the losing your little boy perspective, I’m really impressed he actually told you that. I’ve never had a relationship with my parents where I would feel comfortable saying something like that and I don’t know many people who would have at that age either. 

As an aside one of my mates still calls his mum and dad mummy and daddy. We became friends at 6th form and hearing him say it for the first time did make me chuckle.

I feel you on the point re: the country but I’d also
expand that to the world. It’s tough not to let it get you down at times.

Hope you get well soon! 

foxgloves

I read about that incident in the city square. I agree it is very concerning how young those lads were & it was in a busy area in broad daylight. Questions have to be asked about online businesses selling items such as machetes without due diligence. We were discussing this when we saw it on the news the other day & we couldn't really think of anyone who would genuinely need to buy a machete apart from brush cutting, scything type of work, possibly some harvesting jobs....apart from that, surely anyone else wanting to buy one is a wrong'un. I moved up to the city in the early 80s to do my degree (could tell you a few hair curling tales about our landlord back then & his portfolio of appalling properties!) & while I was always aware of the dangers of being out & about in a big city, it feels different now. For instance, I always used to use multi-storey car parks without a 2nd thought, but wouldn't go in them now - I am phobic about lifts & there's no way I'd venture up those stairwells after dark, bad enough in the day time! And while I have a lot of sympathy for the growing number of street homeless, I wouldn't want to dawdle up Listergate these days either. 
F

alt80

Thanks all. Really tired so probably not the most thoughtful response. 

The budget hasn’t been particularly kind to us. Broadly as expected really so I’m not going to dwell on it too much. 

My son understands now that relationships have to be worked on everyday and respect for each other is nonnegotiable. Its been a long road and I really hope that he won’t succumb to inevitable peer pressure that will undermine the work we’ve put in - having been down the path of needing to review the lack of respect I had for others I would never wish for my son to have to face something similar.

@foxgloves It seems to be getting worse and they seem to be getting more and more blatant too. !!!!!! horrific. You live a lot further out of town so probably don’t have too many issues but we’ve had homeless coming in. We get our own bobbys on the beat because it’s like a !!!!!! beacon for thieves round here too. 

Ha, the housing was bad when I came here as a student too but loads of good memories. Suppose I like to think I’ve always tried to be a decent landlord because I fundamentally believe that everyone should have a nice place to live.