Moving on with things

Willowtree222

What a lovely post, Alt. Sounds like your wife has been on her own journey as well and is also seeing things differently. 

It's a shame some of her relatives have to mention the past. I wonder if it makes them feel superior somehow. Their actions say more about their own personality and behaviour though. It only takes one wrong turn for any one of us to end up in difficult positions. Financially or personally. 

I love Christmas so I am in my element at the minute! 

katsu

Consider them to be suffering from foot and mouth @alt80. It's either being nosey or thoughtless.  They don't need to speak about the past and who you used to be.  You and your wife have changed so much. 

I think they are the people for the Mel Robins "let them" where you recognise they are just what they are and you focus on how you feel and making the best decisions for you. 

There are lots of people whose opinions add no value to my life I find 🤭  They aren't in my heart and I can't change what they think and feel. 

I'm really proud of Mrs Alt for recognising the limitations of her decisions and behaviours, and changing her ways in response.  Memories are the most valuable "thing".  

daisy_1571

Wow thats a sincere apology from Mrs alt there.  Glad she recognised her part in the whole sorry mess, hopefully over time you will be more understanding that EVERYONE  has regrets and they deserve not to be thumped over the head with them every day, you too will hopefully have more and more time between episodes of self reproach. 

I hope these awful rude people didn't spoil the day for you all.  Your inlaws and their wider family do seem incredibly outspoken and boorish (they maybe aren't and its just the tiny bits we hear about them, apologies if I offend).  I couldn't imagine ever bringing stuff like that up, especially in company,  if the person themselves didn't quietly bring it up themselves and want to talk.

I'm very glad to read so much positive in your news.  I hope you are also able to start to move on from keeping your son young and start to enjoy the growth towards his young adulthood and spending time with the person he will eventually become.  

Daisy xxx 

Humdinger1

@alt80 you and your family are utterly magnificent!  Pay no attention to negative wider family.  They seem stuck in the past.  Maybe it's worth slipping in that old saying 'Drop old grievances, if only to pick up new ones'. Made me laugh like a drain when I first heard it and it did help me to let go.  Love Humdinger x