Moving on with things

alt80

@RelievedSheff good to hear from you, a lot of people have missed you on here, me included - I hope you’re both well.

100% agree re Christmas, didn’t always and my wife used to love having a big Christmas until her family basically asked her to choose between spending it with them or with me. We now cherish our small Christmases - no stress/ pressure.

We do still buy each other gifts but it’s much more limited than years ago. Not just driven by finances but also driven by a past of insincere gift giving that both my wife and I can say was really about manipulating and appeasing each other when we really should have been addressing other problems in our lives/ relationship etc. It means we tend to buy things for each other throughout the year and Christmas is about each of us giving and receiving four gifts on the theme of something we want, something we need, something to read and something for someone in need. Neither of us would push it on others but it’s another thing that takes the stress out of the day. I get that my son would possibly prefer a bigger all out Christmas especially when one of his new mates was going on and on about piles of presents, amazing food etc. 

I found it difficult to have the conversation with him about families having different budgets / priorities etc. but I’m glad I didn’t just run away from it and faced it head on. 

I know how cringeworthy it sounds but I love my wife more than I did yesterday and less than I will tomorrow. Without her I don’t think I’d be here, certainly not free of the credit card debts, still in recovery and with my mental health under control. This year not long after she started doing the digital stuff I found she had a portfolio she’d built over years of design work but never thought anyone would pay her for her work, absolutely !!!!!! crazy but it’s a pleasure to help her succeed in business in any way that I can. 

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. 

Willowtree222

I love the four gifts giving idea.

As much as you are very grateful for your wife, I think she also needed you to show someone believed in her and that gave her the confidence to succeed as well. You have both supported each other and it is lovely to read you are both in such a strong position. 

Have a lovely Christmas