Moving on with things

alt80

@RelievedSheff good to hear from you, a lot of people have missed you on here, me included - I hope you’re both well.

100% agree re Christmas, didn’t always and my wife used to love having a big Christmas until her family basically asked her to choose between spending it with them or with me. We now cherish our small Christmases - no stress/ pressure.

We do still buy each other gifts but it’s much more limited than years ago. Not just driven by finances but also driven by a past of insincere gift giving that both my wife and I can say was really about manipulating and appeasing each other when we really should have been addressing other problems in our lives/ relationship etc. It means we tend to buy things for each other throughout the year and Christmas is about each of us giving and receiving four gifts on the theme of something we want, something we need, something to read and something for someone in need. Neither of us would push it on others but it’s another thing that takes the stress out of the day. I get that my son would possibly prefer a bigger all out Christmas especially when one of his new mates was going on and on about piles of presents, amazing food etc. 

I found it difficult to have the conversation with him about families having different budgets / priorities etc. but I’m glad I didn’t just run away from it and faced it head on. 

I know how cringeworthy it sounds but I love my wife more than I did yesterday and less than I will tomorrow. Without her I don’t think I’d be here, certainly not free of the credit card debts, still in recovery and with my mental health under control. This year not long after she started doing the digital stuff I found she had a portfolio she’d built over years of design work but never thought anyone would pay her for her work, absolutely !!!!!! crazy but it’s a pleasure to help her succeed in business in any way that I can. 

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. 

Willowtree222

I love the four gifts giving idea.

As much as you are very grateful for your wife, I think she also needed you to show someone believed in her and that gave her the confidence to succeed as well. You have both supported each other and it is lovely to read you are both in such a strong position. 

Have a lovely Christmas 

FootyFanDan

Great updates, hope you and the family have a great christmas

ladyholly

Have a wonderful Christmas. You and Mrs alt have made such huge positive changes in your life. I wish you all the good things for 2026.

alt80

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. 

We enjoyed a quiet one again, just my wife, son, dog and I. Despite our son wanting a larger Christmas, he ended up having a nice day. Just the right amount of food to have a little indulgence but not so much there’s days of left overs - we’re getting the balance right. That said, we do have enough chocolates to see us through Q1 from staff and relatives. 

The weather has been lovely too, cold but managed to get a couple of really good walks, wife has had her bike out and we also managed to get the Mk2 out. Unfortunately they were spreading salt around the city this afternoon so I don’t think we’ll be getting the Mk2 out tomorrow.

@Willowtree222 thank you, I hope you had a good one. 

We continue to try to work on our marriage every day. I’ll do whatever I can to see her succeed as I know she has and continues to do for me. It hasn’t always been that way for either of us but I am so grateful she chose to support me through some really hard times. 

@FootyFanDan thank you, it’s a bit late but hope it’s been a good one for you and your family too mate.

@ladyholly thank you, hope you had a good one too. We couldn’t have got to where we are today without a lot of help and support from the various pros. Getting locked in on therapy has changed our lives.

Humdinger1

Wonderful posts @alt80.  Happy Christmas and onwards to a fab 2026.  Congratulations on your new lives love Humdinger x

Sarahwithlove

Lovely post Alt, so glad you're Christmases are much better now for you all. Sounds like your wife's business is thriving and it's doing her confidence the world of good. 

RelievedSheff

Glad you had a good Christmas. 

We are getting so as we love a quiet Christmas just us and the dog.

I doubt we will get that next year though. I suspect we will end up with the family at our new house now we will have room.

We are still terrible for judging amounts of food. The freezer is full of leftovers 🤣🤣🤣

Scott_Weiland79

@alt80 All the best for 2026 

alt80

Thanks all, the rest of our Christmas break wasn’t so quiet and why I’m only just wishing everyone on here a Happy New Year.
We ended up having an unexpected holiday with my parents after they asked us if we were interested in spending New Year in Germany with them. It was fantastic, completely unplanned and something I would have refused to do historically - realise how much I’ve missed out on over the years through not being able to address my problems. My parents are determined to visit some of the places they have either been before years ago or always wanted to go now they don’t have the tie of a business. Both of them still work there 2-3 days a week but my Dad is getting older. He turns 80 this year and it’s at the back of my mind how many more years they’ll be as fit as they are. Breaks my heart how I avoided them for so many years. 

Back to reality this week with work and school. New year is always a time for reflection; overall my last year has been a really good one. I’m more well in myself than I think that I’ve ever been. For the first time in my life even on the bad days I’ve got a sense of perspective that tomorrow can be better and I’m able to move on from the thoughts that used to rule me. Idk exactly what shifted my mindset but I spent last year fully committing to the pros, putting dealing with my mental health even above my business and family and not working so much. I’ve started to see my Friday lunchtime finish as sacrosanct. However, it is still hard for me to acknowledge my business is not the only good thing in my life anymore. I hid behind it for the many years things were really bad; everything else was falling to bits but at least I was doing alright in business. Idk I finally see what people on here, my in-laws etc were saying when they were telling me that it’s not healthy or good for my family to be like that. Spent far too many years feeling that I didn’t deserve what I always tried to give my staff. 

Now I’ve got some conflicting priorities - still have some drive in business, want to spend time with my family, make some improvements to some of the fittings within our home (no moving(!) another round of SDLT would kill me, ha) and want to get a grip on the mortgage situation. The last one falls way down. I know that I probably shouldn’t be planning so many holidays and trips away. We still buy more nice things for ourselves than we should too over the course of the year. Most of what we spend on both should probably be diverted to paying off the mortgage I owe on our home but we won’t get time back.

Idk I’m trying to set new personal financial goals having not really done anything last year apart from set up the overpayment which is set to pay off the additional we drew to pay for the C63 as if it were just a car HP - would have cost a lot more to go with the dealer finance so we did it this way. 2026 is probably not going to be a year I really prioritise throwing money at clearing debt at the expense of living life tbh.