Moving on with things

alt80

We've had a really nice weekend despite the weather today - it's been !!!!!! dismal. Apart from a £20 spend yesterday having a coffee after our walk, we haven't spent anything. My boy's baking and cooking skills are getting very good and he no longer has the tantrums over clearing up afterwards. Still doesn't like it tbf can't blame him. Probably will go out next Sunday for lunch as I'm sure it'll be calmer than today. Decided to listen to wife's / staff's / pro's advice over my working hours and priorities. I was getting obsessed with it again and tbf not doing myself, my business or anyone else any favours. I was punishing myself for the nice time I had been having with my family as much as anything else. Tbt it's not nice for them either to be around me when I'm like that, idk it's self sabotage, really. 

Mother's Day was a success. We are trying to prioritise doing nice things for each other rather than buying extravagant gifts for all occasions which is why I didn't spend much. Food wise, son and I made a sourdough loaf and a chocolate raspberry cake yesterday. The cake is !!!!!! delicious. Son found the recipe online, took us an age to make it. It's with the inlaws now, keep it away from me ha. Son persuaded my Dad to make one for Mum too. It was nice to bake together over FaceTime. Breakfast was sourdough toast, sliced avocado and smoked salmon. Chicken roast was a success as well. Son helped again, he loves cooking and good food. Told me he wants to invite his "girlfriend" around for dinner, he's !!!!!! 10 going on 30 ha. Idk I'm convinced they grow up faster than my wife and I did. She believed in !!!!!! Santa Claus until she was 14 and I'm pretty sure I didn't have a girlfriend at 10 fml. 

Been ruminating on being old before my time wanting to be with my family more, only really seen older 55+ blokes saying they wished they'd spent more time at home. I think it is what I want tbh. I've let myself be defined by my business since I started it, always thought it's the only positive thing I have going for me. I came so !!!!!! close to losing my wife and son that I think it's given me an older perspective on the importance of family too. My son said something that meant a lot last night !!!!!! broke down in tears as usual but made me really think perhaps I still have a chance to be a decent influence in his life. I still want to provide more financially, think I'll always have that about me that no amount is quite enough. However, I do acknowledge things could be a lot worse and additional money at the expense of being there when things are good anyway is, to an extent, little beyond me feeding the monster. Idk having to deal with the !!!!!! mental stuff and ditching the people I associated myself with pre-Covid that made me reckless with money has changed my perspective on all kinds of things I think. I didn't really care about my little family then, !!!!!! horrible thing to admit and I hate myself for it but before Covid I just wasn't bothered. I've had struggles since, not going to pretend otherwise but that first lockdown saved me from complete !!!!!! self destruction and wanting to get a grip on my personal finances definitely led to realising just how important my family are.

@mark55man ha you and me both mate.

@RelievedSheff you don't surprise me at all. Good for trade, to an extent, but food is never as good when staff are running around like headless chickens and people are getting impatient.

mark55man

well done Alt - taking pleasure in and being content with who you are with and what you already have is a hard lesson to learn and even harder to achieve in today's society 

alt80

Another decent day, actually woke at 6am no alarm this morning. Does me the world of good when I am asleep early enough to wake early without an alarm. 

I’ve kept to the work plan today, got plenty done but walked home for 6 to spend time with my family. One of my more senior staff won a bit of new work which is always nice to see. Wife was expecting the doing it without me making me redundant from my own business rant this evening, she’s heard it enough times idk listened to people who’ve told me it’s proper business really when the staff are out there winning work for once. I need to keep working on having a different view to the destructive ones or I’m not going to get anywhere. 

Did spend a bit of unexpected cash, we went out for dinner unplanned. Not something we should be making a habit of but we did enjoy it. Back to eating more sensibly tomorrow and I need to get back to some proper exercise, been making excuses for far too long now.

Absolutely whacked now but not tripped off by it just going to get to bed at a sensible time rather than sitting up wondering why I feel !!!!!!. 

@mark55man thanks mate. It is difficult to be content, happy with what you have. I struggle with it still, apart from my little family they’re perfect. My Mrs is still fit as !!!!!! which helps ha. Seriously I love them to bits tbh what my wife has done for me and still does, she holds me up 100% backbone of this household. You don’t get that in every relationship, I’ve had crap ones before !!!!!! cheaters, all sorts. 

maggiem

Such a pleasure reading these last few posts @alt80 - hurray a shift to recognising the many good things and being able to stop work at a reasonable time too. It’s lovely reading about a Mother’s Day filled with important moments rather than spending lots which is really the easy option. Very well deserved too after all your on going hard work. 

Iamouttheotherside

@alt80 Gosh it seems like forever I have commented on here.  I have read and run, just not had the time to reply, business is crazy busy, family life is manic!

You seem in a good place at present and are sticking to the plan and what it seems like, absolutely smashing it a huge congratulations.

Lots of good things to read, the debt still coming down, spending under control, your "little" boy seems so grown up now and obviously loves spending time with you, 3 years ago I very much doubt you would have had the time in the kitchen with him baking a cake - it shows how far you have come.  

Well done, stay on the path!

alt80

Last two days have been so so, stuck with the work plan which I'm pleased with. I've had a few struggles with thoughts this and last evening. Yesterday I woke up a bit hungover which probably didn't help. Wasn't intended ha I just can't drink like I used to. Last night I couldn't switch off and was awake until 2am which wasn't great and woke up today even !!!!!! worse than after one too many. Absolutely whacked and a bit unwell so hoping I don't wake up ill tomorrow. Idk I'd have days like this in years gone and would be turning to the self destructive stuff.

No money updates other than we haven't spent any money beyond the usual household bills etc.

@maggiem thank you. I have been and am still really trying to stay that bit more optimistic and seeing the positive. Tbf my wife is helping me to leave the office at a reasonable time, she turns up with my son and dog and walks me home most days lol. Mother's Day was good, had an enjoyable weekend. Ikwyacf re spending lots being the easy option, it is, and with how I've spent in the past it isn't particularly thoughtful either. Her parents have upset and unduly frightened her after she told them the level of mortgage debt we have against our home which hasn't really helped. I can't say I'm pleased about her worrying over finances, I always tried to protect her from those worries which wasn't great either tbf.

@Iamouttheotherside I'd wondered how you were getting on and hoped you were just busy - good to hear from you and that things are good even if they are manic. Make sure you keep those holiday plans.

I am ok, up and down really but that's life I suppose and so long as the overall trajectory is up, that's what matters. Can't !!!!!! wait for the day I don't owe any balances on cards, always manage to smile no matter how my day has been when I adjust the balances down each month on my sheet and on here. Yeah, my boy is growing up fast idk I'm !!!!!! sure I didn't grow up that fast but I'm so proud of him. He did enjoy spending time with me, I don't have the words to say how much that meant. I struggle with knowing I don't deserve to have my little family.

Thank you! I still add to my list from time to time. So that even when I do have the odd wobble, and unfortunately I still do, I hope it and some of the other things I've learned stop me from falling off the path. I don't have anything to do with others that touch it either which helps. 

mark55man

You deserve it - because you're worth it *flicks (remaining) hair* 

alt80

Both my wife and I aren't too well, some kind of cold/flu. See how we are tomorrow but looking like a quiet weekend at home apart from going out for Sunday lunch. Can't believe we're almost half way through the month already with Easter edging closer. 

@mark55man haha fml.

RelievedSheff

There is a flu doing the rounds at work at the moment. I'm hoping I don't get this one. The one I had in January knocked me for six!

alt80

@RelievedSheff there is a lot of it about. Hopefully, you won't get it. One of my staff members was off part of last week with a flu of some kind, really quite unwell. My wife and I seemed to have gotten away fairly lightly, fortunately. I think we'll be more or less okay tomorrow. I still don't want to be doing too much this weekend; just have a quiet one.