Moving on with things

mark55man

You're 100% his best role model and don't let anyone tell you different - and don't overthink yourself into a dark place we're all human but you're his dad

daisy_1571

You have life experience many of us don't, when he's older you'll be able to talk honestly about the temptations in the world and if he remembers the 'bad times' it might be that you've been a good example of things he decides he doesn't want to do?  He won't remember his childhood the same as you remember his childhood.   We all mainly see things from our own perspective. 

Try to lighten up a bit, nothing can change yesterday, we all have things we would change.  Just make sure you are doing today the things that are important to you today.   

Daisy xx 

alt80

Given up with automating the Excel spreadsheet. It seems that the plan is hampered by the banks' cyber security and I have no !!!!!! clue when it comes to coding anyway. Few articles saying an app based system that will automate incoming payments is the way to go YNAB / Emma etc. Tbf I cba and don't want to spend money fixing something that isn't broken and doesn't take much time. My wife tends to do the legwork of inputting the transactional data onto the spreadsheet and doesn't mind. Cost me a new over specced MacBook Pro once in a while so probably works out more expensive than learning to say no and downloading an app lol. She still cracks me up her reading all the Apple press and watching the new release videos whilst trying to work out if she really needs the Pro monster spec for a few spreadsheets and word docs, looking at photos and surfing the web. 

Going back through James Clear - there is a lot that is useful and worth my while going back over.

@RelievedSheff they are. Managed to do the same today as I did yesterday. Idk perhaps old age has just come to me earlier than it does most - I enjoy the time with my family more than anything these days. Both my wife and my parents think I should just accept things as they are financially to spend more time with my family. Idk on one hand that would be really nice but on the other it just seems I'm resigning myself to the scrapheap at an age when everyone else is at the peak of their career or seeing the type of successes I did in business early on. If I could, I'd be earning more and able to make up for the lost time/ money/ opportunities, unfortunately I'm whacked 90/100. Can only answer it myself I know ha.

@mark55man thanks mate. Yeah I've allowed others and articles about the outcomes of kids growing up in less than ideal circumstances to contribute to a lot of the dark thoughts I've been having. The !!!!!! worst thing is I punish myself and my family suffers through me making excuses to not show my face or burying my head in work.

@daisy_1571 He's aware of what's wrong with me, not the finer details but he's been involved in therapy. Also pretty sure he's aware I'm not wired right. I just want the best for him and can't say I've delivered that. Iswyacf re experiencing things as individuals differently to others and our own perception of things. Had an insightful conversation recently re work with my own parents, stuff that framed my attitudes to work that didn't even really exist to them. I always thought their work was a lot more important to them than it was; turned out they worked so much because they really did have to and constantly encouraged me to work because they were !!!!!! convinced I'd either do ok in business or wind up in prison haha. Bit of a funny story but yeah we do definitely see things from our own perspective lol.

My wife says something similar re living for today a lot. She / you are right although need to be in the right mindset in the first place I know.

RelievedSheff

Ha Ha! You are far from the scrap heap yet Alt    

You shouldn't see taking time with your family as a sign that you have not succeeded. You have succeeded in providing your family with the lifestyle that many can only dream of.

alt80

Another day keeping the balance and I've been alright again. I've been more productive than in a while, think it's knowing I need to get things wrapped up by an actual time rather than sitting there all night.

We hardly ever spend personal money in the week anymore. I used to wander around JL and spend money all the !!!!!! time during the week. I used to get some little buzz out of buying random stuff, it's !!!!!! mad, really. All that kind of stuff just doesn't help in the long term. Said to my wife earlier that I'm really quite proud of the fact we don't constantly throw money down the drain anymore.  

@RelievedSheff yeah that's basically what my family are telling me too. All are convinced I just keep !!!!!! my own health up. Idk three days in and I'm feeling quite a lot better, less stressed and anxious. Actually, I slept better than in ages last night, too. 

RelievedSheff

You are sounding much more positive again.   

Baileys_Babe

You sound a lot better which is so good to hear 🤗

alt80

End of a whole working week putting my family first. Glad I was told to go home on Monday - my secretary has worked for me for years, always has looked out for me and my business. I returned a nice gesture today by asking if she wanted to finish early for the weekend at lunch today. We spend a lot of time working together, a few of my mates from the old days always took the !!!!!! that I’d very deliberately chosen someone I 100% did not find attractive. Some of them had all sorts of sordid goings on which I’m sure was fun at the time but no easier way to destroy a working relationship and their marriage at the same time imo. Reminded myself I’m not a lost cause, finished in time to pick my boy up with my wife and we all went to a nice independent place for coffee. Always have told my staff they have to recharge the batteries to perform at their best, idk I should listen to my own advice and keep up doing what the pros have advised too.

Not planning to do much this weekend, quiet day tomorrow apart from baking bread and a cake for mother’s day with my son. Going to get out for a decent walk with wife, son and dog, not sure where yet. We won’t be going out for a Sunday roast, it’s far too busy everywhere. I’m going to cook roast chicken instead. Bought a nice box of F&M chocolates and made an additional donation to one of the lend with care businesses ran by a mum. Seemed appropriate for mothers day.

mark55man

sounds perfect @alt80 - can't beat a nice home made roast chicken - I'm a leg man myself. 

I have 2 brothers and my dad used to tell this joke about a 3 legged chicken that was rumored to be super tasty but it was so speedy no one had ever caught it

RelievedSheff

You have made the right choice staying at home today.

We decided to go to the garden centre which was packed and then tried the pub on the way home. We walked back out again!