Moving on with things

Willowtree222

It's hard when you're in a cycle. You think there is more to it, which is also causing you stress. Stress could be the defining factor but you're adding to that by thinking there is more and unless you can either prove there isn't, or stop that element of worrying, you're always going to have it in the back of your mind and that alone will cause you stress. 

You've had those scans before. Why do you think this one will stop you thinking it's not anything else? I'm not saying you should or shouldn't, only you can decide on that, but if having them before hasn't put your mind at ease, then why would another now? 

If you honestly think this last scan would stop you from the anxiety of thinking there is more, then it could be worth it for you to believe it really is just the stress of everything. 

I hope you start having better sleep soon. 

stymied

Are you talking about trying to find a cause for the insomnia with the scans or something else? Poor sleep does cause an awful lot of other symptoms. Quite random, but how about a long weekend at the seaside? Nothing makes me sleep better than lots of fresh sea air.

RelievedSheff

stymied said:

Are you talking about trying to find a cause for the insomnia with the scans or something else? Poor sleep does cause an awful lot of other symptoms. Quite random, but how about a long weekend at the seaside? Nothing makes me sleep better than lots of fresh sea air.

Agree with that suggestion. Getting out in the fresh air and walking and exploring
are very conducive of a good night's sleep.

Also a good chance to spend some quality time with your family making happy memories. 

13thlegion

I've been thinking a while about your posts @alt80 and it is clear you are in the process of drastically changing your life, which is an incredibly difficult and stressful thing to do. We all know you can do it, but that doesn't make it any easier. But you'll get there.

You spoke a lot recently about work ethic and wanting to set a good example for your kid. Can I ask what you class as work ethic? As there are several interpretations of work ethic. 

Personally I view work ethic as the attitude that a person goes about anything in their life, not just jobs. I'm on the senior management team of my company and we focus on outputs and outcomes for our staff. One the biggest warning signs we have is someone spending lots of time in work beyond office hours. Presenteeism doesn't demonstrate good value for us.

Another way to look at it is there are 168 hours in a week, you try and sleep 56 of them leaving 112. After showers and brushing your teeth probably closer to 110. 110 hours to divide up and spend on what is important. How someone spends that time demonstrates what deep down is a priority for them. 

alt80

@RelievedSheff idk what the answer is really.

@Willowtree222 Ikwacf, 100% agree about stress/ anxiety whatever you want to call it being a factor my Mrs doesn't get the peace of mind element at all. With the scans, I have had them before but it's a few years back now - things can and do change. Idk whether having the scan will stop the concerns I have for an indefinite period of time, I suppose it would depend if I actually get better. What I do know is I have 0 trust for the NHS, they have no time for me, just asked if I've been on the powder lately, took my blood pressure. Didn't even request bloods or refer me to the specialist I wanted even though I promised I wouldn't be taking up resource. I wish to God I could erase that from my medical records, especially with the NHS, no !!!!!! doubt I ever have an accident or something they'll have a quick !!!!!! look at that, push me right to the back of the queue. Have about 0.1 trust for the !!!!!! private gp by video, so not much better. Don't see what they can do via a videocall, it's just not the same. Haven't visited my usual private GP up here because I've promised not to spend on health (private GP beyond the video consultations aren't covered). Idk NHS just thinks I'm a cokehead and not even worth referring even when it costs them nothing and GP by video I just don't get how they can't refer me on when they've only seen me on a !!!!!! screen.

@stymied I wish it was just the insomnia. I'm !!!!!! whacked 99/100, low focus, chronic sinus issues, headaches, stomach ache probably once a week, !!!!!! panic attacks still, some other stuff too. 100% something not right with me. I've requested referrals, a few different medications that from my research should help with some aspects. Others I'm at a loss to come up with a solution. @stymied / @RelievedSheff A long weekend by the coast would be nice, my wife is already saying if I go for this scan we won't be going on one of our holidays planned for later this year because I will have taken the money. !!!!!! guilt tripping me over wanting to sort my health out, her problem is she thinks everything is solved with running about and lifting a few weights. 

@13thlegion yes I have had to make a lot of adjustments to my lifestyle pre-Covid. It's !!!!!! hard. Before Covid believe it or not I used to be fun to be around. I do need to stay on this path though.

Interesting point regarding work ethic, I see it as just related to work, nothing else. 100% agree regarding staff and presenteeism though, I am mindful my staff have a good balance between their lives outside work and their jobs. With staff, it can be a bit of a warning sign other things are going on in their lives outside work etc. I only have a small business - 14 of us in total but I look out for them. They pay my mortgage ultimately and I've got all the time in the world for their jobs working for them both for them and selfishly for my business too. 

alt80

Being on here prompted me to look at my month's personal finances a bit early but close enough to know where I am with things, something to smile about at least.

February 24

[Provisional] Card Balances

CC1 ...........................£15,655 (0% for 16 months)
CC2 ...........................£0 (Another one gone!)

CC3............................£0 (Day-to-day card, not overspent, so no balance accrued)

CC4 ...........................£845 (Looking forward to saying good riddance to this one next month)

Total Card Balance...£16,500
Total Reduction in February...£2,205

Can't !!!!!! wait to see the balances dip below £15k next month and to be down to one card with a balance on. Absolutely buzzing about that - I did not dare to even imagine getting here. I genuinely cannot wait to be posting on here, this year, that I am 100% free of credit card debt. Even thinking about it now I have something to smile about. Next stop will be building 3 months emergency fund at an aggressive rate. Made my mind up that getting from 3 months EmFund to 6 months will be slower and alongside making some inroads into the i/o part of my res mortgage.

I have started to get serious about the capital owing on my property investments, and my offices are finally off the !!!!!! ridiculous rate comm mortgage and now forms the start of building a proper pension fund for my family and I. Sounds mad but I'm proud to say I've started to get serious about a better financial future for my family. Anyone who's followed my journey for a while will know I'm no fan of Dave Ramsey as I fundamentally disagree with his approach to debt busting but I did listen to some of his thinking about investing recently and found I've a bit more time for him. I've been there where I've needed to desperately off load / let property because things have always been tight financially and I see how owners of diverse, unencumbered / low leverage portfolios behave. Want a piece of that game, 100%. I never thought it could be in reach for me but now I do, long way to go but every time rents come in and I'm using it to amortise the loan, it's an amazing feeling. Idk lot to do with where I'm come from I know.

Willowtree222

You should be proud. Down to one card, pension find on the horizon. This is a long way away from when you.first joined. 

I agree about the NHS and video appointments. If it's impacting you the way it is, then speak to your wife about the reassurance you are clearly seeking. 

RelievedSheff

Perhaps try and treat yourself the same way that you treat your staff? 

I don't think your wife is guilt tripping you about the cost of the scan being offset against losing a holiday. She is being financially shrewd. 

Try to have some trust in those that know you most, your family.

enthusiasticsaver

Well done on getting the cards down to just those two. As you say you are on the homeward stretch now and before long your income will be yours (and your wife) to dictate how it is spent. I am wryly smiling at your wife saying no holiday if you spend money on a private scan firstly because a few years ago your wife wasn’t worried about budgeting and you weren’t bothered about holidays. Even better hearing about your plans for pension, investments and paying down loans and mortgages on property. Financially you are in a completely different place. 

Anxiety can be crippling so I kind of get why you may worry but am not sure a scan will give you the answer. Last time it was clear did that stop your anxiety? All the symptoms you cite can be down to anxiety so maybe persist with the private GP? Drugs do mess up your body so some of it may be down to that even though you are no longer using. You should definitely be proud of how far you have come but the health anxiety is another challenge you have to face. Do you think you are neuro diverse? That may explain the anxiety and the strong focus on certain things and maybe the need for a dopamine fix certainly when you firs5 started on this journey. Your writing sometimes sounds like your brain is travelling at 500 miles an hour and you struggle to switch it off which can indicate neurodiversity.

MatyMoo

As a child I had psychosomatic illnesses - all the symptoms of diabetes without actually being diabetic was one example. I was 7, don’t think I even knew what diabetes was 🤷‍♀️ Anyway, it was included on my medical notes and it took years for any medical issue to be taken seriously and for me not to feel fobbed off so I know exactly how that feels ☹️

It took years and a couple of changes of GP’s for me to feel listened to. Did you change GP as part of your house move?