Moving on with things

mark55man

great work - everyone will remember that for ever - something to hold tight 

foxgloves

What a lovely positive & insightful post from you @alt80. All the best for the house move. I think this will turn out to be a really positive thing, as your new house won't carry the same memories/baggage/associations as your current one. Your vow renewal was a new start & your new home is another one.
F

Iamouttheotherside

@alt80
Good morning and welcome back!

I will reply first to your post of 20th October, didn't want to reply until you were back, to give you internet free time!

The October half term came and went pretty quickly, my kids are getting older now, so they make plans with their friends and it was Thursday of the second week, before they were both actually home for a family evening meal together!  We used to go away in October, but they plan so much now, I would feel guilty taking that away, so enjoy October half term away while you can, while your son is young.  

As for your sons best friend boarding, hopefully they know what they are doing, from my experience of seeing kids that board (10 years), if the parents work lots and are rarely home, or they live in a very rural area, with no local friends, the kids tend to prosper.  On the flip side, if they have a loving home, with one parent who is usually there full time and have local friends who they also "hang around" with I don't think its a good thing, the kids tend to feel deserted or fobbed off.  I remember a memory of dropping my daughter off in year 7, and there was a girl screaming to her parents that she didn't want to board, the sad thing was it turns out the parents only lived 20 miles away from the school.    She left not long after she was in a real bad way mentally.  I have also seen kids from London, who would never get the chance to "hang around" with friends and the parents work long hours absolutely thrive, it just has to be right.  

Now to your recent post...

Sounds like you have had an absolute amazing time, and well done to your parents for organising Halloween and the birthday alongside your renewal too, it obviously meant a lot to them, so they've got amazing memories too.

Good to hear you are using your staff more too, they will be enjoying the responsibility, they will come together even stronger as a team.  Nice to hear your secretary said something nice that touched you, she will probably know you a lot more than you realise, so that is lovely to hear.  Good to hear you're going to meet the older chap, I said your friendship circle will change, it will and you will get good, positive people in your life.

Just take it easy don't set your targets too high, 8k steps a day in grim/rainy November is a lot if you're office based, aim for 5k and anything over is a bonus. See other targets as a bonus don't put too much pressure on yourself, you've also got a lot going home with your home move at the moment.  

Interesting what you say about you think you've been give a gift, I am a firm believer in fate and that everything happens for a reason, at the time you may not understand why certain things happen, but in the future you always do.

Congratulations on the Apple Pay, I think it's a great idea, the limit can be adjusted to suit, I think it's a great first step for you.  Love the way you and your wife are working together on finances now, what a team, you must be very proud of what you have both become.

Keep on the path and have a good weekend

enthusiasticsaver

Lovely to hear from you and glad the vow renewal went well.  You sound like a different @alt80 to a few years back. A lovely family occasion especially for your parents as they missed your first wedding.

Hope the house move goes ahead ok and glad you are looking to get financial security by carrying on with the credit card reduction and paying down the interest only element of your mortgage particularly as rates have been creeping up. 

Sun_Addict

Sounds like you had an amazing time, really pleased for you how much you’ve turned your life around. A real inspiration. 

alt80

Thank you, all. Had a quiet weekend of not doing a lot apart from a couple of walks, a few bits to facilitate our move and managing to get out for lunch today.

@lucielle / @RelievedSheff / @maggiem / @Baileys_Babe / @mark55man thanks, we had a brilliant time away. Our vow renewal was very special, does seem to have put me in a more positive mindset since tbf. 

@warby68 thank you, I dread to think where I’d be had I not made the changes. Covid was a strange time for all of us but I genuinely think had that first lockdown not happened I wouldn’t have made the steps to change. Idk why but that first complete shut down changed my outlook on life; didn’t have any time for my family before that whatsoever but in those strange weeks, after the initial shock, I enjoyed time with my wife and son for the first time. Know I wasn’t right after, still !!!!!! work in progress ha but do think that made me actually fight to stay on the path I’m on now.

I wouldn’t have ever agreed with you re time meaning more than money even until very recently. As it happens, I think there has to be a balance - a lot of time without any money I’m not sure is that healthy either. 

@foxgloves thank you, really starting to look forward to it now. I’ve wanted to live where we’re moving to for a very long time, nowhere else like it that I’m aware of in the rest of country. It is much worse value for money than where we are now though. Being local you’ve probably have guessed where we are going ha. I was struggling with not being in a position that we can rip it to bits and make it into exactly what we want straight away, not that it’s in bad condition and should finally have a house that stays warm too with what the previous owner has done but still have quite a few long term plans. Important to me not to !!!!!! ourselves financially to get it perfect though.   

@Iamouttheotherside Ha thank you, hardly touched the computer apart from checking my emails once a day until we got back. Hope you had a nice weekend.

Definitely trying to enjoy the time with our boy whilst we can. As for his friend and the plans to board, iswyacf my ex-mate’s (sure you’ll know who I’m referring too) kids board, they love it but he’s not allowed to see them and his ex-wife has a very demanding career - I see how it works for them. Son’s friend’s parents do both have fairly demanding careers in the medical field but not away all the time and don’t live rurally. They have a lot of ambition for him, academic side is really important to them, he !!!!!! loves coming here to be a kid lol. None of our business of course but have our doubts it’ll work out for them. 

My parents did a brilliant job, they are both knackered now, last thing they said to us was they’d had a great time but glad we’re off home so they can get a rest haha. 

I know you are right re staff. I wasn’t well long before I had to go away for treatment but knew I had to build the team so they could function even if I wasn’t able to. Looking back I was trying to protect myself and my family. Always viewed it too negatively though, making myself redundant from my own business mindset rather than freeing up my time to focus on strategy, mentoring and most importantly for my family. I basically fill in any role now alongside a little professional work - keeps me busy and think it’s important to know how it all goes together and get a feel for how clients deal with staff no matter their level within the business. Growth plans are on hold whilst I concentrate on family time, not ashamed of that either, battled with my head for a long time to not be. Next few years are about my little family and consolidating what we have in business. Get my head into a better place, sort the chronic stress issues that I’ve struggled with for many years then we go again. The business isn’t in a bad place and I have come to terms with my current income being enough for the time-being, we can have a lifestyle that we enjoy with the income we have.

True re targets, the weather is !!!!!! awful rn and tbf I haven’t met my 8k everyday. Really trying to not focus on it too much for exactly the reasons you mention. Wife is still getting her gym time in, she wants me to stay healthy but has laid off a bit tbf wants me back on it properly when we’re settled in the new place ha.

Idk about everything happens for a reason. There’s a few ways of looking at that imo - on one hand there are times things happen in life, you look back and understand why but equally the world can be a really !!!!!! awful cruel place of what seems nonsensical suffering. 

I needed to start to give myself some access to personal money, start to move on. I am very proud of my wife, we made a promise to each other when she agreed to therapy too that we would work on our marriage everyday. 

@enthusiasticsaver they won’t stop talking about it ha. Son managed to get lots of photos, putting a few albums together, easy Christmas gifts this year, win win there lol. 

If you’d have asked me my prediction for rates a few years back, it would have certainly not been what they are today. I’m not going to pretend it’s not a source of stress or that taking on the commitment we have is especially astute from a pure numbers perspective. All the more reason I need to stay on track tbf and keep chipping away at the long term goals. 

@Sun_Addict thank you, we did. Really look forward to holidays now too ha. 

RelievedSheff

Alt it's really nice to see you in such a positive frame of mind these days. Your hard work is really paying off.


You have had a reset and it sounds like you, and your family appreciate it 🙂

You all have a great future ahead of you.

Good luck with the move and hope it all runs smoothly for you.

foxgloves

@alt80 - Yes, I think I have probably guessed where you are moving to. Hope it all goes well. It really will underscore your fresh start & I think feel like you have shed the skin of your old life.
You are a reformed character. I reckon I've spent more at JL than you this last couple of years, lol !
F

alt80

@RelievedSheff thank you. Does feel like we have had a reset renewing our vows. Probably sounds a bit silly - day after I felt like we’d set the reset button, new start. Not really, been a lot of work and many ups and downs. More to come I’m sure, that’s life eh but how you deal with it too. 

!!!!!! need the luck, hadn’t realised how much crap we own. Proper chance to declutter at least ha. 

@foxgloves thank you and I hope so. Closer we get the more I am looking forward to it. Haha you probably have lol, not sure the same will be said over the next couple of years though, filling up the wishlists for the new place ha. 

Humdinger1

What wonderful updates @alt80.  You are a beacon of light and should be so proud of yourself.   Your wife and boy sound fab.  Good luck with the move love Humdinger x