Moving on with things

Yankee24

This is the first year my husband and I haven’t done Christmas presents.  No regrets.  

Sun_Addict

Glad you’re settled in your new home and your new start in life putting the past behind you. How far you’ve come in the past year, a pleasure to read your posts now. 

Happy Christmas to you and your lovely family 🎄

maggiem

Pleased to read you are settled into your new home and beginning to create some lovely memories there. However the very best bit of your post was your reflection on past behaviour but this time without huge amounts of guilt tainting today and tomorrow. Absolutely brilliant to read that and such a good end to the year and start of 2024.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year too. 

alt80

Thanks all and hope you all have a nice Christmas too. Last push at work before closing up for the year, starting to look forward to locking up on Friday now ha. All the minimum payments have been made for the month now, not going to be making any additional payments until January after sitting down over this coming week to work things out. !!!!!! massive mortgage payment went out this month as expected, will be a little less next month and going to see if I can put a few pennies into the i/o part, even if not a lot just to get into the habit of paying something towards it.

@Four_Seasons I am, thank you. I've been proud of my little family for quite some time and I'm grateful to have them. I'm proud of myself for keeping on the path and for choosing to make a greater commitment to my family. I've very recently taken in the narrative that I don't have to like who I was to work on being more kind to myself now and for the future. Hating myself wasn't helping anyone and wasn't helping my recovery either. I know I have to move on. It is something I still struggle with tbf. 

We missed the start of advent tbh not some !!!!!! stroke of genius to have a brighter start to the year, it basically came from my wife and I being in the thick of it with moving that we completely forgot and were so exhausted we couldn't face it. 12 seems more manageable than 24 and tbf we are all looking forward to it now. 

@MatyMoo thank you! 

@Baileys_Babe thank you. We are done with the big and expensive Christmas. Last year was our first small one, no pressure, no hosting etc. 

@mark55man always is a busy time then the days comes around and that's it. Let me know if you try 12 days and how you get on, I think we are going to really enjoy ours tbf. Have you got all the kids round for the big day?

I'm just starting to enjoy cars again. I tried to do everything I could to stop my son from taking an interest in cars but he's definitely a petrolhead just like I was when I was younger. Wife has been taking him and his mate karting, they !!!!!! love it and she's a big kid so she does too.

@RelievedSheff Thank you and I certainly hope so. I haven't been mentally well for a long time, lot of it brought on by my own doing but that spirals into no longer being able to keep it under control. Things are looking up, have been for a while but I'm only just starting to see it and have some real hope that so long as I keep on the path things will continue to get better.

@Yankee24 I understand that, we're much more careful about Christmas and the gifts we do give. My wife and I have chosen our Christmas gifts for each other together, nothing particularly extravagant or expensive, we've already had that in our new home tbf. We have also made some additional contributions to some of the lend with care projects and made a donation each to Unicef. 

@Sun_Addict thank you. I hope you and family are doing well and looking forward to Christmas. I haven't caught up with the diaries on here but you are often in my thoughts when I'm up your way. A few things you have said re stress have stuck with me and are part of the reason I am really trying to reduce stress long term.

@maggiem I am working towards moving on. Thank you for your support. You've reminded me I need to get over to the AF thread and claim my badges, not touched a drop this month so far, seriously thinking about making it the full month. 

mark55man

Thanks @alt80 - no kids at all on the day as we up North with OH's dad - so that's a bit sad really but why we are low on the spirit this year.  Making a day of it when we get back, but not quite the same as doing it on the day itself.

alt80

Last working day of the year now gone. Fair few staff go out after work, rest head home to their families. It’s always a nice day but I do find it hard now I don’t go out after anymore, it leaves me time to think. Should have just gone straight home but I sat in my office for a few hours working initially then worrying about not buying them enough for Christmas until my wife came to make sure I was ok. This evening I realised I’ve got a long way to go to sort out the stress and the unhealthy mindset although I know it’s pressure I put on myself. Can’t sleep tonight of course ha.

@mark55man it’s a shame you aren’t spending the day with your kids but I’m sure your FIL will appreciate you are visiting. I doubt it is any comfort but your kids making their own way means you have done a great job mate. Make the most of both days but ikwyacf re it not being quite the same. 

alt80

Had a really decent day with the family today, spent £15 on a coffee out, that’s all. I realise that I was concerned about nothing yesterday, idk sometimes I just think all I can do for my family is spend money on them, it’s a dumb mentality.  

Got back home after a decent walk to start eating our way through the F&M Christmas haul lol. Lots has changed in life and definitely for the better but we won’t be giving up our indulgent food hauls once in a while. Was serious about the possibility of an AF month but the temptation of enjoying a glass of red with our first Christmas roast of 2023 got the better of me. I enjoy wine much more than when I used to drink practically every day now it’s a treat and I don’t feel the need to have to finish an open bottle. 

This evening I’ve started to take a look at the personal money which is a bit grim but not as bad as I was anticipating. Moving has been expensive and I was having a lot of trouble coming to terms with the i/o borrowing even though it was considered. Going to use this week away from work to really get a grip on personal finances as well as spend time with my family and try to relax a bit.

katsu

I'm so happy to hear you are sticking with Lend With Care; I love to think of the entrepreneurs I've helped and hope their lives go well. 

It sounds like your are settling into much better headspace.  I'm so proud of you. 

Willowtree222

Just found your diary

What a difference from your first posts.
Merry Christmas Alt, looks like you've made a lot of amazing steps.

ladyholly

I have just found your diary and can only congratulate you and your wife at all the positive changes you have made. Have a wonderful Christmas with your family and keep up the good work in 2024.