Moving on with things

RelievedSheff

We don't watch or read the news anymore. 

Yankee24

You know, just embrace the !!!!!! sleep, alt. My husband and I went thru a bad patch 15 yrs ago.  He lost sleep due to huuuuge feelings of guilt.  Tried everything.  No luck.  It was finally a pro that said, you know, maybe you are just not a good sleeper. You are only 40, you don’t have a normal.   Stop thinking it is part of this mess and recovery.   Some people get 4 hours a night, move on.  He was never cured.  It’s better, but he is not an 8 hour guy.  He stopped obsessing gradually, when he realised lack of sleep was not a punishment.   

alt80

We have had quite a spendy month which is unsurprising and was planned. Whilst I am glad I took control of my personal finances, I'm struggling to deal with the times when the spending is high - thought through but nonetheless likely rather more extravagant than most. I would like to feel I could post a summary and costed plan on here as so many people have been helpful or had something insightful to say which has made me think over the years but since being in recovery a lot of things really affect me and idk if I'm ready for the judgement. Sounds !!!!!! dumb I know ha. 

@RelievedSheff I don’t blame you at all. This past week or so despite saying I wanted to cut down the amount of news I was consuming I haven’t. I know I also have to help myself with what I choose to consume both within my diet and the things I read. Being in recovery has changed my view on the world and my values. Someone (might have been you) on here said that no one who is happy with their lives needs to use drugs; I've found that statement is very true. Although with hindsight I didn’t realise what taking a long critical view of myself would do and had I known, I am sure I would have made my excuses and carried on the way things were but I am so glad I didn't. For as much of a struggle as it has been and is, I have also enjoyed some of the best days of my life this past year and most importantly my little family is so much more happy. Seeing them smile a lot more is priceless to me. 

I've been meaning to comment on your diary for a few days regarding your mortgage plans but your post is a few pages behind now. It's brilliant to see you are going to concentrate your efforts onto clearing your mortgage aggressively once your debts are cleared. With rates as they are and where they are likely to settle, I think you are doing the right thing and once your home is paid for you will have so much spare cash (presumably for travel). Keep up the good work and enjoying life along the way, you are an inspiration to so many on here, myself included. 

@Yankee24 thank you, tbf I relate to a lot of that post ha. Not sure I will be cured either; I have always been a bad sleeper even as a kid I couldn't get to sleep at night so you are probably right that I am just a poor sleeper. I do obsess about it, read four different books about sleep, !!!!!! guarantee I'll search sleep on the news app once a day to check if there's some !!!!!! potential of a cure to become that in bed at 10pm, asleep by 10.30pm, no waking until morning, no hardship getting to sleep.

RelievedSheff

The sleep will come eventually Alt.

We have grand plans to have the mortgage paid off in 7.5 years. So our next remortgage in 2.5 years time will be our last one and we will decrease the term to the 5 years which will knock another 5 years off our current remaining term. 

Shouldn't have a problem doing this even with interest rates as they are now. We would still be paying less than our current mortgage and overpayment and the debt repayments. 

We will need to have a major think about what we do then with the mortgage paid off.

alt80

I used to scoff at people on here who said I should be putting my family first but over these years I've come to realise those people were right. These days my family does come first and my wife understands sometimes it looks like work coming first for us to be able to have the things we enjoy but often I am very fortunate to have time with my family that most don't have the luxury of. It doesn't make up for how I did treat my family in the past but means we can have a better today and tomorrow.

We are starting to settle in at our new home and get ready for Christmas (better late than never ha). Staff had their night out last Saturday, the first year I didn't go I was in !!!!!! bits. This is the first year I've actually smiled about it without any resentment, knowing they had a good time and we had a nice weekend planned together as a family. Still had our alcohol free work Christmas lunch which has become a bit of a tradition now. A couple of my staff don't drink at all for different reasons so I'm really quite pleased I set up the Christmas lunch, everyone enjoys it. I still don't drink apart from the odd exception. It's better for my health, and a money saver too - win win really. 

Anyone who's read my diary for a while will know we stopped buying the mega expensive Christmas advent calendars and made our own for the past few years - less waste and better on the pocket. This year we missed it altogether but have started to get together the little treats and gifts to do a twelve days of Christmas instead. Will make those first few days of January a bit brighter. I'm done with the commodification of everything. I used to think it was shameful where I was in life - get to one level where I previously thought I would be happy and there's always another, then the shame would set in because I'd have my eye on the new prize dissatisfied with wherever I was at that point. I still struggle with thinking I am not providing well enough for my family to put up with keeping me around but do know that's my own insecurity and really I have an awful lot to lose, financially and otherwise. 

I wasn't going to post this after reading it through but thought if it resonates with one person who obsesses with 'bettering themselves' to the point of actually !!!!!! themselves, spending like a madman to keep an image and actually helps them to think about their lifestyle before they get to where I was it's worth me clicking post.

@RelievedSheff yeah it's one of those things, I do my best to not let it get me down.

It's wonderful to hear your plans, I'm 100% you'll meet the target. 

I'm going to have a serious look at my plans over the Christmas break. I do have an idea of what I need to do and by when to not wind up having to sell off assets further down the road but putting together a real plan will give me something to actually work towards that I can adjust as/ when needed. 

Four_Seasons

Alt you have come so so far you should be very proud of you and your family. Such a lovely idea 12 days of the new year instead.  Wishing you a lovely Christmas and a very happy New Year x

MatyMoo

So lovely to see and hear the changes in your life & outlook Alt, it’s made my year 😃

The line about a better today and tomorrow is just amazing 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Happy Christmas to you and yours 🌲🎅🏻🌲

Baileys_Babe

Happy to hear you are settling into your new home.

 Your Christmas plans sound lovely.

mark55man

Four_Seasons said:

Alt you have come so so far you should be very proud of you and your family. Such a lovely idea 12 days of the new year instead.  Wishing you a lovely Christmas and a very happy New Year x

Agreed such a fabulous idea - I will try and do that - we are always busy before Christmas, but calm between then and new year.  Plus with kids grown up the spirit is weak with us!!

I'm not  a petrol head but our advent calendar is a double size wooden ruler type thing marked 1 --> 24 that you slide a wooden car (with pressies on the roof rack) along to show the date.  

RelievedSheff

Merry Christmas to you and your family Alt.

I have a feeling that 2024 will be a fantastic year for you all.