Moving on with things

Sarahwithlove

I agree keep rolex it is used everyday and holds value to you. It's not sitting in a closet or draw and being forgotten about. 

alt80

I tried to sit down to work out my updated personal finance plan this evening - current plan is based around my current outgoings. I just couldn't face it, thoughts of how much I wasted over the years just really got me down. Idk seeing the card balances in front of me and the new res mortgage amounts alongside having no savings, just a loose plan to work on that once the card balances are gone made the not being good enough for my family thoughts overwhelming. 

@RelievedSheff / @Sun_Addict / @Sarahwithlove yeah I still wear it, just aware it's not something I need.

@curly_moose it won't go down in value. It's worth more now than when I bought it new even given its condition although I haven't bothered to work it out adjusted for inflation. Have looked after it but it's obviously been worn so not in the condition the ones which have just sat in boxes are in. I don't need to sell it, have just been trying to get rid of everything I personally own with some value. This is one of the few things I do personally have left with some value. Absolutely agree something like your grandfathers watch is special and holds great sentimental value, I wouldn't be selling something like that either. 

lucielle

Hi Alt, you can keep things it’s not about penance. If you enjoy the watch keep it. When the time comes and your son gets it, he’ll remember that you wore it and liked it. Like you say it’s not sat in a box gathering dust. 

L

warby68

Keep the watch @alt80, you don't need to punish yourself and this is an example of a good spend, if affordable. You love it, wear it, it keeps its value and can be passed on with love.

You do matter by the way. Hopefully the bouts of crippling regret will ease as you get more better lived time under your belt.

RelievedSheff

Be careful that you don't dive down the rabbit hole of selling everything that you have with some value!

Paying off debt isn't a punishment. You can still live life.

curly_moose

What everyone else said. It would be one thing if you were talking about dropping £8K on a new one while paying off debt, but you’re not. The money’s already spent, and (at the risk of sounding really patronising - I’m sorry - reading your diary, it’s sometimes difficult to square your visible achievements and obviously kind heart with your sense of yourself) you’re allowed to have nice things. You work incredibly hard; you’ve done incredibly well for yourself and your family in spite of a shedload of challenges, and there’s nothing wrong with experiencing the fruits of that a bit.

foxgloves

Now, now @alt80, I don't want to have to start knitting you a hair shirt. I know you feel bad & are full of regrets re your past lifestyle, but it's gone. It's finished. You are a different & decent person. It's just taking your sense of self-worth a while to catch up. 
You know what? You show me a person who doesn't have regrets about some past behaviour or elements of old lifestyles & I'll show you a liar! I include myself in that. We all have recriminatory thoughts about things we wish we'd done differently. It's living well in the present which is going to secure your future, not beating yourself up about the past.
No reason to part with your watch - a useful item which you like & wear. 
I hope moving house will be a positive step away from your old environment into a more self-forgiving stage of your life.
F

satchmo1

A lovely watch you wear every day is something to hang on to!

My DH has a shelf-full of nice watches, and in his case I don't know why he bothers keeping his Rolex because he's afraid to wear it when he goes into the city - so what's the point? But, for every year he keeps it, it appreciates in value.

Me? I don't bother with a watch, so I asked him to sell one I bought for £200 ten years ago that was, at that time, worth about £800 (Gucci). I actually bought it for him, and he didn't like it! It's still gathering dust...

alt80

I don't wish to come across as being ungrateful for the things I do have and am fortunate enough to provide for my family. My mental health isn't in a great position, the pros haven't been able to fix me and aspects have all got a lot worse since I've been in recovery - no 'escaping' from it. There is no amount that has ever been 'enough' for me, tried to come to terms with that and see it from a different point of view but it's never lasted, there's always that little voice telling me I need to get to the next level. When I think about it from the perspective of things my family don't have the best of it's even more crushing. Beyond my aims and goals, my wife was striving for a lifestyle that is beyond what I've been able to provide and what I actually promised to provide for her and didn't deliver on. The closer our vow renewal gets, my head is more of a !!!!!! scrambled mess everyday because I know I can't stand there and promise her a !!!!!! money no object amazing future like I did the first time around.

Baileys_Babe

alt80 said:
I can't stand there and promise her a !!!!!! money no object amazing future like I did the first time around.

Your wife knows the score and does not want that life. If she did she would have walked before now, not be planning on renewing her vows.