Moving on with things

RelievedSheff

Sounds like everything is running smoothly with the house.

Well done on the sales. That's a huge amount to knock off the card balances.

We are a bit quieter at work as well. Not complaining though. It is giving us time to mop up some of the little bits and bobs of jobs that have been kicking around for a while. Tying up some loose ends.

enthusiasticsaver

Great news on the selling stuff and card reduction.  Hope the rest of the house buying and selling process goes smoothly and good luck with the vow renewal. Sorry you not feeling at your best at the moment. Get an early night tonight. 

Sun_Addict

Sorry you’re not feeling so good but it’s really good news you’re starting anew with the new home, vows renewal etc. A fresh start. You’re gradually shedding your old life and replacing it with your new improved version which can only be a good thing. 

alt80

@lucielle thank you. I’ve tried to respond to your post a few times now but was avoiding the thoughts in my head - I made our home a place that isn’t a safe space for my family. I know from my therapy that beating myself up over my past behaviour isn’t good for my family to live with but the day I realised I’ve made our home a living hell well before anyone else did anything I started cleaning the house and I haven’t stopped apart from when I was ill last week. There are days I wonder if my wife and son would be better off if they moved to the new place alone.

@capuchin thanks mate and big congratulations on almost being debt free - that’s fantastic. As it happens neither of them got the max phone. My wife decided the max phone was too big on reflection and got the (slightly cheaper) pro model. After telling my son we thought it might be too big for him too he got angry and kept punching me in the head so we both agreed that he is not getting a phone upgrade this year.

alt80

@RelievedSheff we are very serious about not moving with things we no longer want/need or hold memories that we’d rather not have. Tbf once everything has gone that we wish to sell and in some cases throw out, there will need to be a few things replaced. I would really like to move with the balance as low as possible. Unfortunately when we move it will limit the amount that I can pay off the balance due to the additional mortgage payments. I need to work out the exact numbers but I want to have the card balance gone ASAP but certainly before we remo our new place- the plan is to get the whole lot onto a repayment mortgage and possibly look to reduce the term. Bit embarrassed to say that given my past stance tbf but in the long, long term it is my dream to own our family home outright and other property to be free of personal guarantees. I just want my wife and son to have financial security in the future.

Likewise re tying up loose ends, looking at updating procedures and processes too for certain things, get ready for the next round - never ends haha. 

@enthusiasticsaver good to hear from you too and thank you. I did manage an early one that night but not since. Idk have to be thankful for the good days / weeks and try to deal with the others. 

@Sun_Addict thank you, I just want the best for my family. My wife could 100% do better but she wants me !!!!!! madness I know. 

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

@RelievedSheff we are very serious about not moving with things we no longer want/need or hold memories that we’d rather not have. Tbf once everything has gone that we wish to sell and in some cases throw out, there will need to be a few things replaced. I would really like to move with the balance as low as possible. Unfortunately when we move it will limit the amount that I can pay off the balance due to the additional mortgage payments. I need to work out the exact numbers but I want to have the card balance gone ASAP but certainly before we remo our new place- the plan is to get the whole lot onto a repayment mortgage and possibly look to reduce the term. Bit embarrassed to say that given my past stance tbf but in the long, long term it is my dream to own our family home outright and other property to be free of personal guarantees. I just want my wife and son to have financial security in the future.

Likewise re tying up loose ends, looking at updating procedures and processes too for certain things, get ready for the next round - never ends haha. 

You sound like a changed man.

alt80

@RelievedSheff probably a fair point, my priorities have changed. Saw the life I was living for what it was (with significant input from the pros ha) as being no good for my family. Can't say I'm personally happy/ content now but 95% of the time I do recognise I don't matter, need to work on the other 5% tbf. I've got rid of most things I owned which were of any sort of value but still a few things I can't let go of yet, keep telling myself I should be able to let go of some of the things I have not yet managed to. Every week or so I tell myself I'll sell my Rolex Submariner which would clear a decent amount off the remaining card balance then back out of doing so because I've worn it practically everyday so not worth as much as most being sold on chrono24 due to its condition and I still wear it everyday so despite having a decent clock on my phone and a nice watch my wife bought for me for the odd occasion we do go out I just can't part with it. I know it's absolutely no use to my family, maybe would have been nice to give to my son had I bought it and kept it in the box. Idk sentimental attachment ha. 

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

@RelievedSheff probably a fair point, my priorities have changed. Saw the life I was living for what it was (with significant input from the pros ha) as being no good for my family. Can't say I'm personally happy/ content now but 95% of the time I do recognise I don't matter, need to work on the other 5% tbf. I've got rid of most things I owned which were of any sort of value but still a few things I can't let go of yet, keep telling myself I should be able to let go of some of the things I have not yet managed to. Every week or so I tell myself I'll sell my Rolex Submariner which would clear a decent amount off the remaining card balance then back out of doing so because I've worn it practically everyday so not worth as much as most being sold on chrono24 due to its condition and I still wear it everyday so despite having a decent clock on my phone and a nice watch my wife bought for me for the odd occasion we do go out I just can't part with it. I know it's absolutely no use to my family, maybe would have been nice to give to my son had I bought it and kept it in the box. Idk sentimental attachment ha. 

Keep the watch. You obviously like wearing it so keep it.

curly_moose

I second keeping the Rolex. It’s not going to go down in value and it’s a lovely thing to keep for your son if you possibly can. (My Dad has his dad’s service Omega. It’s more special for where it’s come from.)

Sun_Addict

I also agree you should keep the Rolex. You obviously still enjoy wearing it.