Moving on with things

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

Really good weekend. Plenty of time with my family and also made time for the gym.

Rn I think the effort on doing what the pros advise is really paying off. Ups and downs, of course but I am starting to wonder if there is a future for me that isn’t just wholly miserable and stuck in the past. 

Last push for February next week. Can’t really believe we’re nearly two months through the year and tbh still have only loose plans. That’ll be the push for March for the coming 3 quarters. 

This post has made me smile this morning.

Well done Alt.

mark55man

well done Alt

Lovely series of posts painting a picture of a great weekend - the anticipation, and then the being in the moment 

I think I said right at the beginning that journeys of recovery/redemption are measured in years and its so pleasing to see you've come through your troubles into a lovely period.  There may be troubles ahead (as the song goes) but you know you can get through, and you know getting through will be worth it for you and your family  (nearly put "fam" there but I'm 60!!)

FootyFanDan

What a lovely, positive update to read. 
It is truly amazing the progress you are making, I know some days are harder than others but you are making great steps. Hopefully you are starting to see there is a future where you can move on from the past regrets. Keep on going mate!

alt80

Thanks all. Monday and today have been more work than I expected and tomorrow is looking similar. Definitely struggle to sleep when I end up working later than is ideal. Always did but just powered through. Now looking forward to Friday lunchtime rolling around ha and exploring my options with staffing to ease some of the pressures rn caused by a couple of my staff who are not really in the right mindset to get on. 

When I look back last year I was selling, throwing away and giving away my personal possessions so that my wife wouldn’t have to. My failure to have enough for my wife and son to live the rest of theirs comfortably and not knowing what would happen to my staff and tenants kept me here. People on here, the pros, my wife and my parents told me that I was worth something as a person regardless of money. I couldn’t see it, never did but I am putting the effort in and have just about accepted that my beliefs about others are that they have intrinsic value not related to the amount of things that they can buy and I am not so special that something applies to me that applies to no one else.

I really didn’t anticipate struggling with really severe anxiety and less severe but still not really manageable ocd being part of my recovery journey. Had I known about how difficult it’d be I dread to think where I’d be now because I don’t think I’d have got on the path. Glad I just went ahead regardless of really questioning what I was letting myself in for tbh. 

Today I actually had a moment to take in the only personal debt I have is my mortgage on my home. No credit cards- most would call that debt free!

Just seen how late it is so sorry I’m not going to get around to responding to you all but @mark55man I hadn’t guessed you were a roadman mate. 

RelievedSheff

You have come so far Alt in the last few years and it is all through your hard work and determination.

You should be very proud of what you have achieved.

alt80

Pleased to see the end of the week, just this morning to go ha. This week has been tough- I have been working 12 hour days the whole week alongside setting up my wife’s admin on top. She has two more people come to her with computer design jobs, putting her silly spec Mac to use for once haha. Tbh I’ve hardly slept and been more on edge as the week went by. Did get chance to meet up with someone who was a good mentor to me but we fell out some years ago- I get why ha. He’s older and been there killing himself working, now believes that it’s very much not worth sacrificing health and time with family. I’m there, I can’t keep sacrificing my health and family rather than telling my clients it’ll have to be scheduled for a few weeks time because I take it upon myself to work my own job and someone else’s because they’re off for whatever reason.

@RelievedSheff I couldn’t have stayed where I was but the journey hasn’t been what I thought it would have been tbh. I am glad that I have done what I have and stuck with it because ultimately I couldn’t have carried on the way I was hurting my family.

Lonelygambler

No debt. No credit cards. 

A bright future for sure. 

Congratulations mate well done 

alt80

Wasn’t very well last weekend although we managed to get out a bit. Feel a lot better today after a long sleep last night- went to bed early and must have been asleep by about 11pm. Woke up without the alarm going off at 6. I’m aware just how poor sleep affects me tbh same for working too much. My wife has always had a very strict bedtime schedule and puts it down to her energy. She said that she wants me healthy above working myself into the ground. I’m starting to realise how much I have sacrificed for having no healthy boundaries between myself and my business. I’m not even sure it’s led to greater revenue than had I given myself some respect. 

Financially I am still struggling with thinking I don’t have enough for my family and that they deserve more. Idk if or when I will have a more healthy perspective on that. I’ve done my best and that should be enough but it isn’t for me I always feel I have and continue to let them down. 

@Lonelygambler thank you, I am pleased with that. Your turn next mate.

FootyFanDan

you’re doing so well mate keep going. 

RelievedSheff

Just catching up with diaries.

You are doing great Alt. You provide a very comfortable standard of living for your family.