Moving on with things

alt80

@RelievedSheff we’ll see, she’s on it rn but who knows in a few months time ha. 

@daisy_1571 / @ladyholly he’s off his head but has a lot of power and !!!!!! dangerous imo. As my wife says I need to calm down, I have no !!!!!! influence over it and should just concentrate on the things that are within my control.

@Paydaypayback yeah I’ve kept away from it as much as possible and had a screen free long weekend too. You are right that the world seems a lot more unstable. Whilst I think it is natural for us to worry about the world our children will grow up to live within it does seem worse and worse idk I have to switch off from it a bit as it affects me. To an extent I think you’re right re the media, they also have to hype everything up so we don’t truly know what is going on imo. 

You’ll get there, as I say if you’re in the mindset that money / the things it buys doesn’t define you- you’re already in a good place. It’s always beat me, I try to engage with the idea of having intrinsic worth etc but I just don’t see it for me. It’s not good for you being like I am I know that much. Sorry to hear your debt has resulted in the defaults. I’ve always managed to keep a “good” ha credit file, good for the !!!!!! banks really I think. Tbh due to my trading business, some clients and the mortgage debt I have, had I not been able to keep up I’d have been completely !!!!!! done for. 

alt80

Can’t believe we’re one month down. The past couple of weeks have been busy both with work and at home. January has been fairly kind, I’ve managed to stick to the early finish Fridays and made an effort to work with the pros both in and between sessions. Been a bit up and down but it’s work in progress so I keep telling myself. We went to a different place for lunch today and have started to plan our holidays for the year - need to get a few things booked over the weekend.

It would be nice to say we’ve got through the month having not spent anything but that isn’t the case. My wife bought a bike and has a finance commitment that tbf she has seemed to take quite seriously and we have also bought a family classic car. The MG has been sold back to our friends but it did not cover the cost of the new classic car so I owe a loan to my company for the remainder. It’s not a car that will lose money and the old classic car was really too small for us to use as a family. My wife wants to go on some weekends away in the new classic car. She’s quite aware that she can forget getting anything else from her list this year, ha. Tbh I’ve been avoiding posting as I didn’t really want to admit to spending money.

February needs to be a frugal one apart from sorting our holidays ha.

Baileys_Babe

I was just wondering how you were getting on.

You are allowed to spend money, it sounds to me like both the care and the bike were money well spent. The car is an asset and the bike will bring your wife a lot  of pleasure. Also both purchases should put an end to the mention of her list, which would be good for your mh.

I'm pleased you have kept up with finishing early on a Friday and you are planning this year's holidays. Are you intending to continue the early finishes in February?

It is heartening to hear you are able to engage with the pros.

FootyFanDan

Really glad that the early Friday finishes has stuck.
Have you got any rough plans for holiday destinations? 

hope you and the family are good

warby68

I hope I'm right but your spending feels more of an achievement than a 'failure' @alt80, getting yourself past that awful mental block of every penny for the future without going into a complete tailspin -  and, if I may say, doing it in some style with a bike and an investment car. Happy times ahead I hope with both.

It doesn't feel too risky with a value holding asset and part cash/part finance. Should be easy to get out of if needed.

This is 'sensible' finance, just bringing the purchase forward a bit, not financed to the hilt and clear ways out if the proverbial hits.

Mrs Alt taking some responsibility too - what a great update to bring everlasting January to a close.

Willowtree222

Sounds like you're spending but not without thought. If you canafgord it, and it's a purchase you're happy with, then that's all that matters..

Humdinger1

Paydaypayback said:

Hi, I can imagine having no credit card, loans is a bit of a surreal feeling. In one way or another I have had one or both of these since I was 18 and eligible so I would love to be clear personally. Its a great position you are in. Business assets aside i understand reference the mortgage debt but I see this form of debt as unavoidable (for most people) and a part of life, credit cards are more of a choice in most cases.

From reading your diary it clear to see you have a lovely family, nice home and a business that a lot of hard work has gone into but is now providing the rewards and (hopefully you see) a good lifestyle compared to some if not most people. In a way I understand the wanting to get to the next level as you mention it but I can categorically say there is always a next level and only you can decide when comfortable and happy with your lot. I have a good friend who is in the billionaire club (inherited wealth) and I can tell you now there are things he would like but still can't have or get. For me personally as long as you have a dry warm place to sleep, food on the table and enough money to live a reasonable lifestyle you are winning in life and you tick all these boxes. 

 At this level, people often don't feel rich; they just attain new levels of comparative poverty.   Keep going @alt80, you're doing brilliantly and so is your wife! From what i xan see, her family has kept her in child mode and this has made a major contribution to the situation.   She's finding her voice now and so are you.  Love to all Humdinger 

daisy_1571

what bike did she get (if you want to say of course)

Dxx

PollyWollyDoodle

That sounds like two really good purchases. You’re not poor, and life is for living, it sounds as if you will both get a lot of pleasure out of them. 

alt80

Went to the football with my wife and son yesterday - absolutely unreal 7-0! Still can’t believe it tbf. 

@Baileys_Babe Thank you. My wife is also seeing the pros again and has been off social media entirely the past few months, she knows that she got sucked into watching videos of the likes of the Dubai housewives. She’s got a few things coming up with the bike, doing enhanced training, planned a weekend trip with our friends and once the lad she did her test with has saved up, they are hoping to do bikemaster 1. 

I am planning to continue the early Fridays throughout the first quarter and review it end of March. Things aren’t perfect, I still have some !!!!!! awful days but I am managing to move on the next rather than dwell on it. Really trying to keep in the moment / present and not dwell on the past or future too much. It’s not easy but worth it.

@FootyFanDan We’re doing well mate, hope you and yours are well too. I’ll catch up on your diary tomorrow / early next week. Have a bit less on start of Feb (thankfully ha).
So far it’s Greece (visiting parents), Italy (with parents), usual weekend at Centreparcs (in-laws sort). Wife is going with our son and friends to Wales on the bikes, we are also planning to go with them to Norfolk in the classic cars. Also have a few ideas for some long weekend breaks, just us ha. Parents want to do a four week long trip across Central Europe, I’ve told them that’s going to be 2026 for my Dads 80th.

@warby68 I’ve really struggled with it tbh although I faced it head on, kept talking to the pros and doing what they advised. I want to get better, my family worry about me and I don’t want to put them through that.

My wife wants us to live our lives together not with me locking myself away planning for it to be over. I still worry she’ll wake up one day feeling she’s wasting her life with me and leave but she tells me she wants us to grow old together.

She did make me laugh the other day, came in my office after painting a girl’s nails I thought she was going to tell me she wasn’t doing it any longer or something had happened because she’d obviously been crying. Nope she painted red French which she hates but the girl loved it and my wife saw how happy she had made this girl by not refusing to do it lol. Idk I really hope she sticks with it, I’ve given her a 6 month rent free on the room. Romance isn’t dead or I really have gone soft. 

@Willowtree222 thank you, I think we are happy with it, my wife certainly is and tbf I managed to enjoy it on Friday too.

@Humdinger1 I don’t think that you are wrong tbf. People like me get trapped in the never ending cycle of needing more. Rn I wonder what for and to what end idk. 

My wife’s family never accepted her growing up tbf they loved having kids around the house, still do. Didn’t help they wanted better for her than me, not really talking about money there and tbf I get that. The lifestyle I chose to live has made me unwell, I’d have made some very different choices if I could turn the clock back but none of us can no matter how much or how little money we have.

@daisy_1571 she bought a Triumph. It’s a pre-reg one so we got some savings over new. 

@PollyWollyDoodle I hope so. I don’t drive much anymore but did bring it home from lunch on Friday.