Moving on with things

ladyholly

I suspect your son doesnt so much means sad equals working hard but not being prsent in some of his life when things were bad for you and even now when you are ill.  You do not need to provide everything for him as he grows up. If he wants a car then he must work for at least some of the money and helping him with a house deposit is one thing buying it for him another. I think that is partly why your wife can be somewhat unrealistic with her wants as I suspect she was given everything when she was a child. .You say her father is great but did he give her everything she wanted when she lived with them and did she have tantrums if she didnt get things. I dont know, you may. I can tell you that many very wealthy people dont give their children much and in some cases they will not inherit their parents wealth.  The wealthiest people I have known have been very frugal in their spending and in at least one case their children were dressed from the village jumble sales with one or two quality outfits for going out.

Cherryfudge

The holiday sounds great, and it's so good your parents are healthy and you are all able to spend the time together and it was a break for you.

alt80

Had a good first day back in the office today, been to the gym, done the stuff the pros want me to and am actually ready to go to bed tonight at a better time than usual. Not enjoying walking out of the office and it being dark though - can't have everything. Haven't had a look at the finances but I need to over the coming week. I will only meet my target if I don't book the new trip and don't let my wife book Lapland - that's a lot more !!!!!! expensive than I thought ha. 

@ladyholly I know you're right 100%, I just want the best for him but also for him to understand he can't just expect to be handed everything. 

@Cherryfudge It is, my sister and I are really lucky to have them in good health. According to them it's the blue zone living lol, really they have a much healthier lifestyle because they can't really afford not to. 

Cherryfudge

alt80 said:

@Cherryfudge It is, my sister and I are really lucky to have them in good health. According to them it's the blue zone living lol, really they have a much healthier lifestyle because they can't really afford not to. 

LOL, there may be some truth in that whichever way you look at it: I watched the series on the blue zones and it's fascinating, but many of the blue zone populations are actually relatively poor communities.

Sounds as though you've brought some of the sunshine back with you! I'm glad your day went well.

ladyholly

Even at the expense of not meeting your target the Lapland trip would be an amazing trip for your son. Some friends of ours went when their daughter was a similar age to your son and she still talks about it about 20 years later. Just one things to be aware of is there is no guarantee of snow - they got very little but still had a wonderful time.

RelievedSheff

Book the holidays. You need something to look forward too during the darker winter months.

We are busy planning next years trips. All of the bank holiday breaks are now booked, we have a route planned for our summer holiday in Scotland plans are well underway for the Romania road trip. Going to book the tunnel tickets before long.

Willowtree222

I've been to lapland. My daughter says it's the best day of her life so far. 

The most magical time. 

alt80

Another ok day, reasonable amount of sleep last night and plenty of steps. Need to decide what we are doing about the potential Lapland trip very soon and tbf before I do what I should do and pay the credit card off. The trip is very much unaccounted for and will put back my paying the card balance off until February with adding on the trip, the existing balance and accounting for a little loosening of the budget for Christmas. My wife and son would love it tbf but I really don’t want to fall at the last hurdle or potentially open the taps. My wife has a long list of things she would like to buy, places she wants to visit etc. equally the distraction of being away not worrying about their future and finances has been welcome. Definitely won’t last for long, I have a few things to consider business wise and with the rising costs of employing staff and additional VAT for school etc., it just seems like I continually have increasing costs and no pay rise for myself. I know I am not badly off, it can just be difficult to not focus on the negatives sometimes.

@Cherryfudge I didn’t watch it but definitely I think it is a community thing and also the fact that they are not really well off in the first place. I’ve been listening to ultra processed people on audible on and off for months now and I have to say it has made me think a bit more carefully about food. 

I’m OK at the moment tbf, idk needed the break maybe.

@ladyholly my wife would be the one to cry if there’s no snow. Not even joking either. Idk it is tempting and I have to be the one to press the brakes of course, part of me doesn’t want to be the bad guy.

@RelievedSheff !!!!!! hell mate, I come on here to be wound back, be told to do the right thing and not just press the !!!!!! it button. 

We have been looking to plan a few trips over the coming year, well my wife and my parents who are at it too have. My dad has been on the phone tonight, he’s got a 4 week tour of Italy in mind. Take a guess what mug will wind up paying for that. I’ve told him it’s 2 weeks tops. 

@Willowtree222 STOP IT… I would actually like to be sensible and you’re not really helping my case lol. 

strawb_shortcake

Some things are time bound with children, putting off lapland might mean not doing it at all as next year he may be "too old". 
If your wife is looking at multiple days perhaps compromise with a day trip? But agree it's expensive. 
I always wanted to take my children, but one child had an idea of what it would like and didn't want to spoil that image - that child was definitely born middle aged! Hence we never went, neither did we do Florida as they didn't like the idea of that either. I suppose I shouldn't moan as neither trip matched our holiday budget.

Could you discuss with your Wife of what the budget actually means for your business and family? You carry so much of a burden now, and that should really be shared. I do say that as the one that takes care of all the finances and it's my wages that pay for everything so I do feel your pain on that one.

Cherryfudge

It seems that you always dread holidays but once you get there, they work for you as much as for the family. Having proper time away helps you and it gives the family a treat too. 

That said, it doesn't have to be a 'big' holiday. The small breaks help too.

Would your son outgrow Lapland if it waited another year? That way you aren't saying 'no', just 'wait' and 'look forward to', but you could also stick to your goals to pay off the cc first.

You've reminded me I have a copy of 'Ultra Processed People' which I started then got distracted. Must get back to it some time.