Moving on with things

Sarahwithlove

All you can do is take it one day at a time. I guess what you need to work out is what will make your wife happy? Purchasing the things she wants and causing you worry and stress or having some of these things and you being happy and healthy as well? I think if you were to ask her it's probably the second one but I'm pretty sure you think she would choose the first. 

alt80

Been a pleasant day weather wise here, quite the contrast to earlier on during the week ha. I’m trying to do some of the homework from the pros and keep to concerning myself about the present. 

@ladyholly I know that you weren’t. I haven’t spoken to her about it for quite some time, we did and we were just looking after each other. I’ve been difficult to be around for some time now, can’t stop working on the business or house- the moment I do it really affects me so I have not been able to be around much which upsets her and our son too.

@mark55man thanks mate, much appreciated. 100% true that, and we never know what is coming next in the life game it seems idk I just have too high expectations of myself really I know that much but still want the best for my family so not sure how to handle that ha. 

@Sarahwithlove I’ve hurt her as we agreed I would live with less stress, more family time and I have failed. Not because I don’t want it too but because I am exhausted.

stymied

@alt80 cliched as it may be, you haven’t failed until you give up trying. Chin up!

ladyholly

Try to only work normal office hours. You have said several times you have good staff. Let them take the strain and spend some time with your wife and son. The business wont fall apart if you take some time off. I do wonder if your wifes wants increase when you are more absent.

alt80

This weekend was a bit of a mixed bag but definitely better than the weekend previous. I’m really trying to embrace taking each day as it comes, working with the pros to get back on track and being around more. From time to time I am reminded things could be an awful lot worse and the biggest problem is my mental health being really poor and has been for quite some time. I’ve had some challenges both personally and in business lately that I have not addressed in the best way and I let it affect my mental health further. 

@stymied you’re 100% right. I managed to get to the gym for the first time in quite a while. Enjoyed just switching off from all the other things going on and glad I chose to do that rather than spend more time on the house as a distraction. 

@ladyholly working on something, !!!!!! anything tbh, I do to try to distract myself - do something productive. You’re 100% right, I was very much planning to slow down and spend much more time with my family until my head got in the way. Certainly trying to claw that back.

RelievedSheff

Just catching up on your diary Alt.

Can see you have had some up and down days but we all get those.

As others have said just take things one day at a time and in time the good days will out number the bad days.

vampirotoothus

Say 1 nice thing to yourself OUT LOUD every day. Your brain needs to hear these things. You are doing great Alt, the best is yet to come V x

alt80

@RelievedSheff Not doing so bad today, just dealing with it a day at a time including dealing with my former employee whereas I was losing my temper far too easily with it a few weeks back. I should have kept up with the things the pros wanted me to do before now tbf. 

@vampirotoothus That’s one from the pros, can’t say I do well with it but I have been at least trying and you are right about the brain, it trains itself ultimately and your mindset either makes or breaks you I have found. Certainly hope the best is yet to come, ha. 

maggiem

Pleased to hear you are now keeping up with things the pros have told you. There’s lots of evidence about the impact of considering gratitudes daily and trying to use positive talk, as if speaking to a friend, when talking to ourselves. You have been very clear about your faults but there are lots of positives too that you seem reluctant to credit to yourself. Keep going, I think you are doing well. 

alt80

Managed to keep on the right track over the last few days; gym, bit of wellbeing and not working too much. Not been doing a lot around the house, my wife has been looking after it tbf. Not really sure why I felt guilty for her doing so idk. Been trying to not spend as we are going on holiday soon and that will be an expensive one.