Moving on with things

alt80

September 24

Card Balance

1 ………………….........................................……….......£2,885 (0% for 10 months)

Total Card Balance…………..........................................£2,885

Total Reduction in September.....................................…£2,310 

alt80

Thanks all. Sorry I don’t have the capacity to respond properly but thanks.

@Scott_Weiland79 I’ve barely been sleeping or functioning. My wife, like you, is always telling me to get to the gym, tbf you are both right.

@mark55man I need to remind myself of that re predictions of the future mate.

@stymied Can’t go into, it’s relating to a former employee. Although, wherever my old “friend” as you call him is, trouble follows, 100% guaranteed whilst he has not turned up on my doorstep since moving, he has turned up to my office. Will never be free, ha.

katsu

There are many Internet strangers thinking of you today @alt80. I think it's lovely to see the diversity of people sending you a supportive reply. 

I think getting DF can bring up a lot of thoughts and emotions so I'm sorry you've got something else to worry about right now too.

You've made a lot of progress and you'll keep going. It's hard to be patient but this tough time will ease. 

And congrats to you and your wife.... <3k in credit card debts is such a turn around and a fab example to your son about how to live. 

warby68

I hope things start to turn around for you soon @alt80.

I can imagine how getting close to DF is a challenge as well as an achievement. Its a bit like having to leave the safe straight road you're on and get on another where you don't know the bends and hills yet.

Try and keep thinking of how far you've come and how many of these bad patches you've come through

alt80

@katsu there are lots of good people in the world and I am thankful for the messages on here. 

I just want to put my family into a position of security that I never had ultimately because I want my wife and son to be safe and happy once I’m gone. Not in a legacy way, I hope they can just forget about me and find love. Unfortunately I have come to the realisation that it will take a lot longer than I thought.

Baileys_Babe

Sending hugs and warm wishes @alt80 that soon your current struggles will end and you can find enjoyment in your life.

If you can go out and walk the dog or some other activity, it doesn't have to be for long and either by your self or with the family. Being in nature and hopefully seeing some sunshine will hopefully be soothing.

When you are able try and reintroduce the exercise, it doesn't have to be at the gym but it will help in the long term.

satchmo1

That CC debt is almost gone, which is great, but I can see its existence is constantly growling at you, like a rabid dog.

However.... have you considered that so long as the balance is paid off within the 0% interest period, you're actually making that money work for you by "earning" - either interest or supporting your business objectives?

alt80

Autumn seems to have arrived here. Leaves are dropping and it’s quite cold. Heating is on, sort of miss my open fires but don’t miss the cold floors. Had a bit of a wobble about moving here over summer idk why, think it was the circumstances in which we chose to move and that due to the location we have ended up with less house in terms of size and attachment for more money without the conservation spec restoration I had done on the old place. Come to realise I do really like the modern comforts I’ve never lived with in the past and we don’t need practically empty rooms that were just a reminder of nothing good. I do know that I need to get my health back on track and that how I am rn is upsetting my family. I was meant to go to the football yesterday with my wife, son and some of my in-laws but I couldn’t face it and just stayed in bed. In-laws all think I’m back on the stuff and my wife is just covering for me idk just another thing I will never be wholly free from. 

I can’t face not getting the card paid off in a different timeframe than the one I set for myself. I understand why most would just ride the 0% out, it’s only what I’d tell somebody else ha. 

alt80

Not sure I'm going to be able to have the time to respond to everyone on here but I do want to say thank you all for the support. Had a little bit of a wake up call re needing to take a bit more of a proactive role in getting my health back on track after not going to the football, that really upsetting my son and finding out that my in-laws thinking I'm back on coke. Fwiw, I'm not, and it really saddens me that they think my wife is lying on my behalf. This evening, I've managed to review some notes from sessions in rehab and with the pros as well as the goals I shared on here over the Christmas period. I really wanted to live and move forwards, spending more time with my family and worrying less about increasing my income.

I realise reading through the documents / notes that I've let my head get in the way as I equate my worth with what I can provide financially and nothing else, it's not a constraint I put on anyone else but I can't get beyond it myself. It breaks me that I cannot buy the things my wife has in her list without a lengthy wait or getting into debt. I know lots of people on here think it is stupid that I want nothing but the very best for my wife and son and I can see that, in some ways, it's not so good for my boy but despite all the help I can't change. I had to laugh at my notes about one of the things the pros have been trying to get me to do since I went to the rehab for the first time and I've still not done it because I just !!!!!! break down and can't. 

ladyholly

Have you tpld you wife how her wants list affects you.because if you havent I think you should. Having a private list of the things she would like is fine but I think she needs to think how it is affecting you and only mention one or two things when you ask for occasions like birthday, christmas etc.

You have been doing so well and I am so pleased you have realised how not attending the football has hurt your son. You are on a long journey and it might be worth trying to explain to him that sometimes things overwhelm daddy and he needs to take a step back but you are sorry and will try not to let him down again but will explain to him why if it does happen. Children understand much more than we think and need to be told what is happening in words they can process. You could have a similar convesation with your in laws if only to re assure them.

That you have realised sso quickly after the event how it has affected them and you shows how far you have come.