NST January 2022: Janus

ldee2111

NSD 2/16

DS and I walked to papa’s for a visit,  then papa ran us to gran’s, then gran ran us home. And that was pretty much our day 😂

It’s only 28 days until we go to Florida on holiday so I am in planning and preparing mode. We’ve hit our savings target for our holiday budget and I now just need to save for 3 covid tests x 3, book tests, upload test results, sign and upload declaration forms, upload vaccination certificates, pack bags, do tests and cross finger, toes, and eyes that they are negative! 

DS is back to nursery tomorrow, and OH and I back to work. 

Grateful for a sunny (albeit frosty) day, for a walk with DS, and for the house being relatively clean and tidy.

lcc86

@mothernerd I'm so sorry to hear about your mum passing, sending love.

apple_muncher

Oh, mothernerd, sending you so much love and plenteous hugs. So sorry she is gone, but also glad it was peaceful for her. I know you will immerse yourself in the admin and supporting other people, but please look after yourself first. Can anyone else fend off some phone calls for you? (Thinking of her partner's family here)

Take care and take all the time you need off here. Yes, we want to hear from you, but we do not want to add further obligations to your load.

apple xx

shabbychic12

Oh so sorry to read the sad news Mothernred my thoughts are with you and your family x

Thrifty_Taylor

Sending hugs to @mothernerd & @Calling14 on their losses. Take time out to grieve & think of them with fond memories x

A spend day today, renewed my breakdown cover, transferred money for niece's birthday & paid for boys to get their haircut. Shortened a pair of jeans before I put them on this morning - miles better now I don't have to turn them up 3"! Looked out materials for making a present for a friend's birthday, but couldn't get started as she was the person who cut my sons hair! Sat knitting & chatting instead. Washed up after tea, took things off & put more things on the clothes horse. Back to work tomorrow, pleased it's a short week!
Grateful for staying by the fire while the 70/80mph wind's raged outside, laughing at Gogglebox - just love Jenny & Lee in the caravan! 😂, my newly shortened jeans

beanielou

@Thrifty_Taylor.  Love Jenny & Lee 

32b3in2013

Good evening

@mothernerd. I am sorry to hear your sad new.  May your Mother rest in peace.  

NSD #2/16+ for me today.  I ate from the fridge and freezer and my niece bought me two pineapple sticks in Asda as a treat for driving her there!!  It’s funny - when my nieces and nephews were growing up everything they touched in shops, I bought for them.  All of a sudden,  the table has turned . I didn’t need anything in the shop,  so didn’t even lock!

today I am grateful for
- a fun trip to Asda,  my niece really is funny!!,  
- for wearing clothes I shopped from my own wardrobe during the last project 333 changeover, and
- for the rain,  I love the rain.

I need to walk on the spot for 13 minutes to close all three rings in my watch,  so better get on with that!

32b3

Flying_By

So sorry to hear about your mum, Mothernerd. Thinking of you and your family xx

ldee2111

Sorry for your loss @mothernerd x

mothernerd

I'm okay so far (may have a cry later on), have survived my first day as an orphan. Did some of the difficult call but each of them will pass the news on to others so spreading the load. In between I did easy phone calls (cancelled mum's travel pass account and can cut up the card and vouchers myself) and other tasks (paper bin day so went through the Christmas cards that didn't get put up, sat between the paper bin (out for collection) and the rubbish (any with glitter etc) and ripped the greetings off some to remind me of people who need contacting (not today or tomorrow but sometime).

Binned a broken angel (lots of fairies and angels chosen by deceased brother's ex gf - and a right motley crew they are). Put some decorative items outside on the gravel (someone might take them away). Woman brought mum's pills for the next 4 weeks, I told her the news, she wanted to hug me (but not allowed). She will tell the pharmacy so one phone call off my list and I can hand the rest of the pills in whenever it's convenient. 

7 milk bottles poured down the grid, 5 still in the fridge door (and already taken at least 4 home) - took 4 to a neighbour (2 teenage boys and a 3 yo girl) before I came home. She will tell another neighbour who's been worrying about mum (they saw the ambulance). 

Started on a box of photos I sorted for mum about 3 years ago - all the holiday she had with her partner and other friends. 90% binned, pile of mum photos (for my relatives), pile of partner (handed over most of their family photos about a year before he died - less painful than after he or mum died and not our job to be custodian and 3 smaller piles of friends and some of my brother which I hadn't seen. 

Another ring at the doorbell. Mummy of twins, very red and snotty. I had said it was okay to let her bring mum's stuff from the hospital, she had called at mine, DS3 told her where I was (he had not put more clothes on, as instructed). I let her in, asked if she wanted a drink, she said she didn't know, sat on the couch and burst into tears. So I squeezed in next to her and hugged her. She hugged me back and apologised for the things she said on Friday, so I apologised too. I said I had tried so hard to keep mum safe and I get annoyed when others do less than they could (and I have been biting my tongue for a long time). I handed over the photos (there were some of her and her twin on a joint holiday at the evil empire D s e y land) and finished the box. So all unpleasantness smoothed over. 

Bereavement officer phoned whilst she was there, followed by someone from the medical examiner's office (care in hospital and a provisional cause of death -medical officer will review it and then pass it to the Registrar). Because of COVID everything is done by phone so I wait for people to phone my and they explain the next part of the process. The bereavement officer told me that part of the COVID protocol is not to use donor parts, so I hadn't missed an opportunity to help others. The other officer was very keen for me to get the help I need and to go to citizen's advice for help with form filling (or DS1, or niece - still working the job DS1 quit and loathing every minute)

Mummy of twins said to let her know if there's anything she can do. DS1 and DS2 have both offered help - admin, planning, finances, clearing junk but I also got a lecture from DS1 over not applying for everything I am entitled to (either PIP or UC).

Binned a few broken bits, decided the bits in the washer weren't worth the hassle and binned them (outside the back door), found the recipes cut out of newspapers and tore my way through them, stopped to eat (a pizza, 4 duck rolls and half a bag of breaded mushrooms had been decluttered) with a dollop of tartare sauce. Turned my attention to the unopened presents and found that my name was on most of them as well as mum's. So I have some pampering toiletries (and some for the food bank), am eating my way through some choc truffles and have a wonderful calendar full of pictures of DS1, DS2, their partners and my grandpuppy. Some are on my computer, some on the digital photo display but it's lovely to have printed ones (including some with me and mum - even though I hate having my photo taken and one of them shows every unwanted pound I am carrying).

Gift wrap binned appropriately and pulled out a few small notebooks after I'd called the taxi. Did a quick check on toiletries in the bathroom and if no-one is interested they will be bagged up and taken to the food bank. I brought mum's address book home but don't feel like more phone calls tonight but will tackle some catalogues to cancel.

Have had a lengthy and productive message exchange with my niece. She thinks my Carer's Allowance should continue for 3 months which would be extremely useful - I could get probate through in that time, it's very straightforward. I also asked if my brother wants or needs the bungalow - she thinks it's just what he needs but he's saying he's fine where he is. She's going to work on him. He was hospitalised earlier in the year, should have had adaptations and so far 2 plumbers have made things worse rather than better and walked out, demanding more money (price had already been agreed). He's worried about the funeral too (DS3 and Beloved think it's too risky) no limits on attendance and no social distancing. I've run out of steam. Will rest soon - brother has been given my number but hasn't called and it's way past my bedtime.

Grateful for offers of help, sympathetic and helpful officials, making friends with mummy of twins, my cousin messaging me back offering a shoulder to cry on and telling me I have been the best daughter a mother could have.