Curbing the ridiculous

in Debt Free Diaries
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  • astrocytic_kittenastrocytic_kitten Forumite
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    Well done on only eating 1 time out bar - that’s more discipline than I have! I really hope things start to look up for you soon.
    Debt at LBM (Dec 2018): £23,167
    Debt free Feb 2021
  • WinterWarriorWinterWarrior Forumite
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    Haha I love having the tv to myself too. You need wine and snacks to get the full lone experience! 
    Not all who wander are lost - J.R.R.Tolkien
    🌊 A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor 🌊
    Tilly Tidy to mortgage for 2022 = £277.12
    My WW and friends diary is here 😁 … 
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  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    @astrocytic_kitten - thank you.  It was far more disciplined than the other day when I had 2 out of 4 kitkat chunkys!!!!

    @WinterWarrior - oh yes, there is half a bottle of red in the kitchen (though I shall probs just have a glass as have work from 8 tomorrow) and I think I'll stop to get some snacks later (though there is still half a tub of salted caramel ice cream in the freezer......).

    DH doing my head in.  DC2 was meant to have his 1 year jabs today - have told him about it countless times as either need him to take him, or to stay with DC1 so I can take him.  Mentioned it again last night and got "I've got a meeting, I can't".  !!!!!!.  I just get sick of the mental load - he never does or thinks to do any of these things (have also booked DC1 in for nasal flu spray sat, again, he just wouldn't even think to do it).  So I asked him to cancel and re-book (the jabs) and just got a message saying he's cancelled today but "forgot" to re-book.  I mean how can he forget when I literally just sent him a message asking him to do it?!  It just goes in the "too difficult" pile.  So I've done it.  And will probably have to remind him 70million times.  But if he has to book a curry for the band he manages to remember!!!!!!

    And it's also stuff like, DC2 had wet himself so DH says so and I'm like, "well is his cot wet?" - he doesn't know as he hasn't checked so unless I check then potentially he has wet bedding tonight as I've not been given time to sort it out (and we only have 1 undersheet).

    Was talking to some of the girls at work yesterday as they have the same thing.  It's infuriating.  If I was a SAHM I get it but I work 28 hours and earn basically the same as DH but I just feel I am expected to do much more.  He's really good on the physical stuff and doing his share that way, but it's the mental load - making sure we have nappies, wipes, medicine, appropriately sized and seasonal clothes, shoes, pyjamas, food, jabs, dentist, haircuts, clean and dry clothing.  He does none of that and because he can't see me doing and organising all of these things, he thinks I do nothing!
  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    Oh and I always have to organise all presents/cards for all members of his and my family.  Because if I don't, it doesn't get done or it costs a lot more as he buys stuff last minute.  The other week I had got all of DC2's presents and then asked DH to wrap them but of course he didn't so muggins here had to do it.  I just get SO mad about it all.  Sorry for the rant!!!
  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    Went to soft play.  That part was fine and didn't spend anything.  DC1 had a meltdown (laying on floor etc) when I dared to ask him to help me pick a decoration for the xmas tree, so we left.  Went to M&S and spent £13.92 in there.  3x ready meals (on offer) 2 x for tonight as DH has band and 1 for DH for tomorrow as I am now out.  Gingerbread santa for DC1, bananas and raspberries for the kids and 2 x milk.  DC1 had another meltdown in there and then would not eat lunch or sleep.  So I am at end of teather.

    Didn't buy snacks for self for tonight as forgot that in addition to the ice cream, we also have a lot of salted caramel cake leftover from yesterday.  So will be MSE and use that.  Did a reccie of the freezer for purposes of shopping list.  

    Now seeing friend straight after work tomorrow for drinks and dinner.  I need a break from DC and not seen her in ages and she is so lovely.
  • WinterWarriorWinterWarrior Forumite
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    I hope you had plenty of cake and ice cream and enjoyed you control of the tv 🙃

    Not all who wander are lost - J.R.R.Tolkien
    🌊 A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor 🌊
    Tilly Tidy to mortgage for 2022 = £277.12
    My WW and friends diary is here 😁 … 
    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6259606/must-try-harder/p1

  • ohdearhowdidthathappenohdearhowdidthathappen Forumite
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    My DH is the same, he does no life admin at all.  He never does present buying, medical appts, vets, school stuff etc and whenever I've left stuff to him he forgets or leaves it so last minute it stresses me out, so I just get on with it.  It's one of the reasons I only work 20 hours, in my head the other 20 hours covers the unpaid work I do :D
    Whenever I do extra hours at work, he doesn't pick up the extra slack, so makes sense to me.
    To be fair, he's happy with me working part time and covering all the other stuff, so it works out ok but occasionally it would be nice if he took on a task or two
    Debt Dec '18 £45393. Debt free June 2020
    New savings goals: House renovations £10000/£10000 - complete 09/21, FFEF £5000/£10000
  • enthusiasticsaverenthusiasticsaver Forumite, Ambassador
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    I am of the opinion that mens' brains just seem to work differently to women and not come across anyone who does not have a DH who leaves life admin, thinking ahead and planning things at home to a wife or partner(if they have one).  My DH is the same.  He thinks about what we are going to have for dinner 5 minutes before we need to start cooking.  Hence I meal plan and do all the shopping.  Any appointments beyond his hair and dentist appointments are down to me and always have been.  Infuriating for you when you are working too so I totally get that.  At least I am retired so can live with the bulk of the life admin, housework, laundry, cooking,  finances, shopping, gardening  being down to me and to be fair he takes care of all the house maintenance and would do jobs if I asked him to. 
    Early retired in December 2017. Debt counsellor for a High Street bank in a previous life.

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  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    It's good to know it's not just me!!  I have calmed down a little about it now.  However, I didn't manage to get my night in with the tv as one of his band mates got contact traced so it was cancelled!!!

    Yesterday was a bit interesting!  I managed to reverse one of our cars into the other forgetting it was there (no damage) then DH had a minor car accident with DC1 in car (both fine) where a bloke drove into them scraping side of our car and puncturing the wheel!  So they swapped numbers but the bloke is now not answering apparently.  Car is in my name (DH named driver) and I have protected no claims but 100 excess.  Probs not worth claiming as car is rubbish anyway (2004 RAV mostly falling apart) and so as long as new tyre under 100 no point.  Have informed insurers obvs but am going to try to pursue the other driver for the cost of tyre.  Their bumper fell off and was damaged and they blamed DH so they may try and pursue us but I will be fighting that one!!!!  So we are very likely to go over budget this month now.

    Went out with my friend last night - £33 and had a lovely steak with bernaise and chips and a couple of glasses of wine.  So good to catch up with her!  Stopped at garage at way home (she wasn't drinking so gave me a lift home) to get bottle so DH could have some and some chocolate for me and friend and some for her kids - £10.76.

    Supermarket shop this morning and despite "not needing much" was £75 and still got some other shops to get stuff from (like nicer bread and fruit etc).  Also realised DC2 needs some 12-18 month long sleeved vests and socks which I didn't get previously so need to go and get those.  Plus a b**ts run for handwash etc.  It is neverending really!
  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    Took some clothes back so refund of £37.50.  Spent £17 in M&S on various things, only two non-essential.  Bought docs for DC2.  4 pairs were £5 but had a balance of £2 on gift card so only £3.  

    Finally got my glasses (well, picked the frames and should get them next week) - £318(!) However, I have birthday money of £300 and work also give me £65 towards so will use my birthday money for them and have a balance on my birthday money of £47.

    Bought 2 lots handwash, sanitary towels, painkillers and a deodorant for DH in b**ts - £12.  DH has just gone to take a bunch of stuff to storage and we sorted out dining room in flat this morning and there was just cr*p everywhere!!!!  DH also cleaned bathroom so it's now a marginally better place to live!
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