Curbing the ridiculous

in Debt Free Diaries
169 replies 19.1K views
So, this is my new diary. 

About me: 43, married with 2 very young DC.  Not currently in any debt but was in debt for years and years due to various factors which are set out at the start of my other diary.

Stupidly sold our family home last year with nothing to go to.  Been living in abysmal rented accommodation with no outside space since.  We are both thoroughly depressed, fed up and don't know what to do for the best: (a) hold out, (b) rent somewhere nice (though rents where we are have gone through the roof) or (c) move away somewhere cheaper (though we would then lose our friends and family support.

Why am I here?  Well, two reasons, but both fall under the heading of "curbing the ridiculous":

1. We have had an absolutely stupid spending month.  Over double our budget.  Mainly on food.  Because we have been depressed.  The amount of money we waste/fritter is just scandalous.  This HAS to stop.

2. I am FAT.  Linked to (1) above and our general situation, we have been stuffing our faces for months.  And that is making me depressed.  I've just seen a video of myself at my son's birthday party last week and I look hideous.  So this too, must stop.

There's a third reason I'm here and I guess that's because I have also made some nice virtual "friends" on this board and it is nice to have somewhere to jot down my thoughts where no one knows me and where there is good support.

So, that's me.


  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
    432 Posts
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    So today is the last day in our budget month as I get paid tomorrow.  It is not going to be spend free as we need to fill the car with petrol (c.£60), plus we need milk, bread, fruit, cat litter, waffles, yoghurt and yoo moo.  So we will get that and then draw a line under this ridiculous spending and move on.

    Diet wise, today is also not going to be fat free as DH made me a massive dinner for my birthday yesterday and we have a chocolate mousse from that leftover plus some chocolate.  Have last birthday meal out Tues lunchtime so am going to try to be good tomorrow, eat/drink on Tuesday and then be good after that and cut out alcohol and rubbish (which will also save us money of course).

  • Four_SeasonsFour_Seasons Forumite
    379 Posts
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    Yeh!! found you, belated happy birthday.  New diary new start the very best of luck x
  • joedenisejoedenise Forumite
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    Good luck.  Was wondering what your new diary was called and have just found it.

  • TheAbleTheAble Forumite
    1.1K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    What was the background to you selling your house and moving into rented? Are you planning on buying again and do you have a deposit saved?
    Sealed pot challenge 074
  • BlackcatsBlackcats Forumite
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    Welcome back - lovely to see you again.  
    Good idea to draw a line under this month's budget and start again.  No damage is irreparable - money or less than perfect eating and drinking choices.  
    I hope you had a good birthday.
    I can understand how your home choices keep spinning round in your head - these are big  decisions - looking to the future (and not looking back too often)
  • enthusiasticsaverenthusiasticsaver Forumite, Board Guide
    12.8K Posts
    Eighth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    Good luck on stopping with the spending and excess eating.  You will get good support here.  Hopefully the right house will come along soon or prices will settle down. 
    Early retired in December 2017. Debt counsellor for a High Street bank in a previous life.

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to [email protected]
  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
    432 Posts
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    @TheAble ironically we moved for more space/land and we are renting a tiny flat with no outside space (still 2k a month though!!).  Yes, we have a deposit saved.
  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
    432 Posts
    100 Posts Name Dropper
    @Four_Seasons @joedenise @enthusiasticsaver thank you!

    @Blackcats - thank you.  Yes, it's all we currently think about and is driving us insane.  I need to catch up on your diary but hope you are ok x
  • edited 19 September at 6:25PM
    foxglovesfoxgloves Forumite
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    edited 19 September at 6:25PM
    @RebeccaPearson - It sounds very much as though you know where you've been going wrong, so armed with that knowledge, you are already in a stronger position. You know what the source of the money wasting is & you want to change those bad habits. 
     So now it's a case of making that knowledge work for you. Often bad habits come sneaking back in when our levels of everyday financial/domestic planning & organisation have started to fall by the wayside. We've all done it. Although I had a very significant LBM, I didn't reform my bad money habits overnight. It does take time to make new positive habits stick & we all have slip-ups. But significant change is possible & it does make a lot of difference to one's self-respect AND bank balance when the constant  frittering of money is seen for the hindrance to future plans that it truly is. Trust me, I have had serious form as a committed money-waster in the past. I've been very honest about that in my own dfw diary. There is no way on earth I'd go back tp my old behaviour now that I know what debt-free feels like.
    So stick with it. I'm sure there'll be plenty of people on here cheering you on.
    "Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only the moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake".
    Sir Francis Bacon 1561 - 1626 (Philosopher & statesman)
  • southern_chicksouthern_chick Forumite
    399 Posts
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    Hi nice to see you have started a new diary.  It’s always easy to give advice to to other people but please stop giving yourself such a hard time about selling your house. You have said quite a lot that it was a perfectly good house and you should never have sold it but there must have been a really good reason why you did which you are probably ‘forgetting’ now. I’m sure have mentioned that there was trouble with a shared drive?? Try not to give yourself a hard time but just concentrate now on moving forward. We ALL make mistakes but you can’t keep beating yourself up. The important thing is you have got a roof over your heads, it might not be ideal, but it is temporary and you have got a healthy deposit and are in an excellent position for when the right property comes up.  Good luck with your new budget and diet 💕💕 xx
    slowly working towards being MF one small over payment at a time :T
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