Curbing the ridiculous

in Debt Free Diaries
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  • doingitanywaydoingitanyway Forumite
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    That is a good insurance tip that I will remember if I ever find a home to have insurance from...
    Glad you are all feeling better.
    Good saving on the car seat/base. 

    If you have built castles in the air, your work should not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
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  • BlackcatsBlackcats Forumite
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    Glad you are starting to feel better.  I love watching the escape to the country/to the sea/to the sun/without a mortgage type programmes that proliferate tv.  I admire the people that have changed lifestyle to pursue their dreams.  Sometimes they seem very smug but actually they are probably happy and I'm jealous so judge them as smug.
    I think I would move for the lifestyle that is affordable and offers a different quality of life.  Yes, you will miss your friends but your children will be friend magnets for you.

  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    @mumtoomany - thank you - that is a very good tip indeed.  We have now done that and one of the issues is that we can't see ourselves retired here as other than golf, there is nothing to do!  At least in the uk you can get in your car/on a train and go and visit lots of different places/NT places.  And now we are thinking why not do it now - i.e. what's the point in being slaves to a mortgage here for next 20/25 years only to probably retire to the uk?!

    @enthusiasticsaver - those are also very good points.  Yes, I think they would visit and MIL def would as she would want to see the kids (plus cheap holiday for her!).  I was actually thinking yesterday that I KNOW lots of people here, but that is different to having FRIENDS and, friend wise, I have a very small number.  Most don't have/won't have kids so we are already growing apart and that chasm is only going to increase over time.  So maybe "starting again" won't be as bad as we think and I guess we can always come back if it doesn't work.

    @CRANKY40 - I think we'd kill each other and we don't actually like where her house is!  But we did think about it short term (but she has lodgers to help pay the bills so currently no room!).
  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    @doingitanyway - thank you.  It is such a relief to feel better!  Though now we are on no sleep as DC2 is teething seemingly and is up half the night crying!  I really hope you find something nice soon

    @Blackcats - I love all those shows too.  And yes, sometimes they do seem smug!!  Thank you for your take on it.  So difficult as will be quite a bit less take home pay a month for both of us due to tax/NI differences and any salary increases/bonuses will get beasted at those rates but we would have no or a very small mortgage and UK mortgage interest rates are around 0.58% lower in uk than here.  And I can't help thinking that we will probably be able to retire much earlier.......

    So, we are now well over half budget with a week to go.  I am having a mani/pedi on saturday which will be about 80/90 I think but I have not had one in YEARS and it's always nice for holidays so I'm having it!  Still got to try bras on and take back tomorrow!  We now don't need too much for holidays (mainly kids snacks for the plane and am going to go to charity shop to get them some new books) and we've dug out lots of rubber rings/toys etc to pack.  Will be top up shops this week of milk etc.  Honestly, we need our own cow (perhaps that is a possibility in the uk?!).

    Day off for me today so going to take them to the park around 10am.  Will do top up snack shop for them on way back.  Lunch is soup and bread from stores.  Dinner is some of the thai that DH bought on Fri and we didn't use so all from stores.  Need to get glasses so will pick and order friday.

    DH is out tomorrow night which I can't WAIT for as there is SO much I want to watch on the tv but can't as he doesn't like the stuff I like.  Well, I mean there is stuff we both like but I like all the dramas and he doesn't (apart from LOD).

    Looks like we should have a healthy amount of budget to go towards the holiday cost - hoping it might cover the drinks/lunches/incidentals for when we are there.  Need to do a check in with DH about how much we have in the savings.  I have the majority of it in my account so can see that but he has a fair bit in his so I don't have visibility on that and I'd like to deduct holiday costs too.

    In other news, someone here has contacted us about a house.  Another one we put a flyer through ages ago.  1.4 acres and in the location we want.  But DH doesn't seem at all interested - I think he is now hell bent on uk!

    HR have confirmed to me that I can work remotely from the uk if I want to but they won't be able to top up my salary to reflect that I will be working from the uk (I didn't expect this anyway and hadn't factored it into calculations).  If they wanted me in the office for any reason they would pay for everything.  So that's good.  DH is now going to have a proper formal conversation with his work too.  Then I think we will book a trip for early next year to scopes out areas/houses.
  • doingitanywaydoingitanyway Forumite
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    Reading your posts it is pretty clear that you will be coming back to the UK. Great idea to come back in the new year to scope out properties/areas.

    Enjoy the mani/pedi. Like you I haven't done either for too long...

    Enjoy your day off. I made soup yesterday too. I have a few squash as they are cheap and plentiful so will be making squash soup too. (Will be jazzing it up with some feta and toasted pumpkin seeds...)

    Snacks and books for the plane will save you money. It is the little things that add up.

    Enjoy your trip to the park.
    If you have built castles in the air, your work should not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
    Buffer savings 0/200
    Emergency fund 0/1000
  • astrocytic_kittenastrocytic_kitten Forumite
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    Oh wow Rebecca, catching up on your diary and what a horrendous time you’ve had of it! It sounds like you’re leaning towards the UK and that does sound like the better option. Does your DH have other family around that would be there for MIL? I bet you’ll make friends quickly wherever you go, especially with the children. And it would mean all the stress of the past couple of years has been leading to something good rather than more of the same. Funnily enough I’m in a similar situation - I need to move for mobility reasons and I’ve been thinking about moving somewhere cheaper where I can get a better place for less money….but it means leaving behind my friends/doctors/community/hairdresser (the hairdresser is a big one 😂). I’m on the verge of taking the leap too.
    Debt at LBM (Dec 2018): £23,167
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  • carolbeecarolbee Forumite
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    Sounds like you’ve made your minds up @RebeccaPearson. There is a lot to be said from having no/low mortgage with a young family.

    once you’re on holiday, you hopefully will have time for a good discussion and a trawl on the property websites
    Carolbee
  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    @doingitanyway - do you think so?  Hadn't realised I had come across that strongly about it but perhaps you're right - arghhhh!   Oooh, I'd never thought about adding feta but I LOVE feta (the best feta I ever had was in Crete and it was deep fried in sesame seeds with honey - honestly heaven) and obviously that goes v well with squash - so I may have to try that - thank you for the inspiration!  We have about 2 small squash and one MASSIVE blue one left from where we grew some on a friend's allotment this year.  DH is currently drying out all the squash seeds to pack away so that if we ever do get a house, ever, we will be able to grow more!

    @astrocytic_kitten - lovely to hear from you, how are you doing??  (I MUST catch up on your diary).  Yes, I can see that a good hairdresser would be very tough to leave!  Sorry you are having to consider moving.  Hope you get somewhere good sorted.  Yes, DH has 2 sisters here (plus their other halves/kids) and MIL has her brothers here and lots of friends so she will be fine.

    @carolbee - thank you - yes, it is not something I had really thought about until this whole disaster which has been our lives recently!  I think I had just blindly thought that the only way was carrying on here but there is a whole big world out there and this place is NOT the centre of the universe, even though it does suck you in into thinking that at times!
  • Hi Rebecca, 

    Have just had a catch up of the diary and will be following (and cheering) you along.  We are currently in a house limbo of a different kind and it can be really draining thinking about it all the time so hopefully this will all be a thing of the past shortly for you :) 
    Pennies starts again...........2022 - £13,579.22  



  • RebeccaPearsonRebeccaPearson Forumite
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    @Lookafterthepennies2020 - thank you, that is really kind.  Do you have a diary?  If so, I will follow you.  I really hope your situation sorts soon x
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