Curbing the ridiculous

[Deleted User]

My "friend" (who kicked us out of the house we were renting from her when DC2 was only 5 months, despite us offering to take it for a further year and pay her an extra £100 a month) has asked if we want to go for drinks with her, her BF and our other friends friday.  She's also told me how wonderful their lives are at the moment.  I just don't want to go.  I wouldn't mind so much if it was just her but he is ODD.  And I don't like him.  I don't think I will go.

We are having a wobble and think maybe Devon IS the way to go.  I think we will book a trip for end of November after all.  DC2 has a very high temp and is not well.  He is just being hit by everything at the moment.  Means apart from me nipping to shop as we need (surprise surprise) milk (but also cheese and eggs as DH has used them all up - and stuff for my work lunches - we are stuck in the flat as we can't reallly take him out.

BellaLasagna2018

To be truly honest @[Deleted User], I am surprised that you still have contact with this woman. I would have never forgiven her and she would have been out of my life long ago! 

Life is too short for such poisonous relationships! 

TheAble

You shouldn't really have made a formal offer on a place if you're not sure. It's not fair on the vendor. Thinking back to your opening post, didn't you say you regretted selling your previous house? Don't compound the error by getting your next purchase wrong.

Buffythedebtslayer

Do not go anywhere NEAR the poisonous !!!!!!. 

She did a horrible thing and doesn't deserve any of your precious time. She really doesn't. 

Sorry DC is ill again. Flipping stupid time of year. Everyone is sick. 

I don't know much about buying houses, but I think so long as no one is spending money yet you are all good. hang in there XXX 

[Deleted User]

@BellaLasagna2018 and @Buffythedebtslayer - I know, but it is so hard as she and her bf are in my friendship group and I really don't want to lose that.  But I am still not going to go.  I have always thought it was him pushing her to get rid of us, and she has in the past been a bit of a sheep as far as bf's are concerned which is why I was willing to try and sort it out.  But not him.  And also, it just makes my blood boil every time!

I think it is going to be a long night with DC2.  His temp is really high (over 39) so I may, if it doesn't come down (he's just had nurofen as can't have any more calpol for a while), take him up to the hospital just to be sure.  But I have done that before and they just say it's viral (apart from when it was croup and they gave him steroids, but he hasn't got a barking cough so it's unlikely to be croup this time) and to give calpol/nurofen and lots of fluids, all of which we are doing.  It's just so difficult as we can't recover whilst the kids are constantly ill/getting up twenty five million times in the night.

Means no nursery for him tomorrow but I am going to have to go to work.  DH still off so he is either going to have to watch him or MIL is going to have to help.  DC1 should (fingers crossed) be ok to go to nursery.

Aspiration

Fingers crossed @[Deleted User] DC2 is ok. 

Im sure a lot of us have been there to hear the viral infection diagnosis ! (I reckon I’ve had it 6 times across my kids). 

Always better though to go and get the reassurance then to worry. 

Sorry to hear the families unwell and hope for a quick recovery for all.

Aspiration 

BellaLasagna2018

[Deleted User] said:

@BellaLasagna2018 and @Buffythedebtslayer - I know, but it is so hard as she and her bf are in my friendship group and I really don't want to lose that.  But I am still not going to go.  I have always thought it was him pushing her to get rid of us, and she has in the past been a bit of a sheep as far as bf's are concerned which is why I was willing to try and sort it out.  But not him.  And also, it just makes my blood boil every time!

For me, that wouldn’t be a good enough excuse, and in fact, it would make me very wary of the « friend » as her attitude would depend on whoever she is dating! Presumably, she is an adult with a mind of her own, not a teenager. 

Maybe Devon, and new friends, is the answer!  

[Deleted User]

@BellaLasagna2018 - yes, I do take your point.  Maybe I am too naive and I often forgive people who have wronged me and perhaps shouldn't be!  You might be right!

I think the issue is, we absolutely love this house.  I mean really really love it, and can see ourselves in it.  We have spent quite a bit of time over the weekend discussing what we would do with certain elements of it and looking up ideas on the internet.  But the big question is: do we want to stay offshore?  And that is a far more complicated question.  When we made the offer, we were originally told it would be a completion in January which is why we went for it.  The task of researching Devon and all that comes with it (communities, schools, nurseries, facilities, commute, before we even get to a house itself) is huge and I guess we think the fact that this house we love came out of the blue with a quick completion was a sign we should stay.  Because of course we had said "if we don't find anything by the end of the year".

And of course, on top of that, all the reasons to stay: family support, friends, jobs (we can work remotely but if one of us lost our jobs, whilst we could still survive, it would be hard to pick up jobs with the same salary), and of course the kids being safe here.

However, we think these vendors aren't sure themselves - they apparently put it on the market in March (we weren't told about it then) and it went straight under offer and then they withdrew it.  And now, they haven't managed to get their offer accepted yet on the house they want and are saying completion Feb/March so they can find something (but no guarantee they will complete as they can pull out any time and they have seen 32 houses so a bit like us!) we are just not confident that it will go ahead, which is why the wobble.

So, this is why we think the best thing is to see how it pans out over the next few weeks and we will try to book a trip to Devon anyway (because more than anything it's a chance for DH and I to get away alone for a bit) because we may well get there and go "errrr no".

Back at work today - taking diet coke and snacks so won't buy.  Will need lunch but will get packet chicken and salad as forgot to get yesterday.  DC2 desperately needs socks so will have to get those.  I'm still not well.  Sweating like a pig in a butchers.  DC2 seems better so we now think it was teething (makes sense as flushed cheeks and dribbling).  So he is going to nursery today.

capuchin

All very frustrating, but should eventually be sorted and much happiness will ensue! Good luck. I feel if the location is convenient and it ticks all the other boxes + cheaper, then it can only be a good thing.

[Deleted User]

Bit of a spendy day in the end.  DC2 needed socks so went to get those but they didn't have any his size - remembered DC1 needed gloves for nursery and generally now it's getting cold so got those - £6 for a pack of 3 (pairs!).  Needed a diary for 2022 - get these every year because it is needed to ensure all important dates recorded and family stays on track - £5.99.  Ran out of time to get "healthy" lunch so got baguette - £3.40 but rest of eating at work was from stores.  Boss bought us all a coffee for team meeting.

Then we needed milk - fine.  But also got a tub of ice cream - £5.40.

Then DC1 needed nappies and wipes ordering as we running low.  So got the wipes on offer £8.something and nappies £16.something.  So really only non-essential spend was ice-cream as would have spent just as much on chicken and salad even if taking in from home than on baguette.

Dinner was from stores (bar ice cream).

DC2 sent home from nursery.  Got docs appt first thing weds which means no nursery then either, but going to try to get him seen tomorrow.