The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

milann

I love Stacey Solomon too. I haven’t watched this weeks yet. 

Glad your mum is doing ok.
Could your mechanic friend help with the choice of car 

RosaBernicia

Well I have just learnt (from this) that the heated windscreen technology patent ran out in 2011 so you aren't limited to Fords now! 

(Sadly quite excited about that but there is really no need to do anything about replacing my car while WFH!)

Honeysucklelou2

Sounds very sensible to ensure you have a reliable car.  

Re your mum and food...have you considered something like Wiltshire Farm Foods? I recall my grandfather ordering various dinners which were delivered frozen and just had to be reheated. After my grandmother died, who had cooked everything,  it gave him a variety of dinner options, could be kept in the freezer and one taken out and reheated as required.

Buffythedebtslayer

Honeysucklelou2 said:

Sounds very sensible to ensure you have a reliable car.  

Re your mum and food...have you considered something like Wiltshire Farm Foods? I recall my grandfather ordering various dinners which were delivered frozen and just had to be reheated. After my grandmother died, who had cooked everything,  it gave him a variety of dinner options, could be kept in the freezer and one taken out and reheated as required.

Unfortunately she can't turn on the oven so won't entertain it. She will only have things in the microwave if I dare go out. I thought we could start having separate meals but I did that one night this week and she went on about it and didn't really eat much. 

I hate to moan about her because one, she was a good mum she really was and 2 I know I should have gone years ago but I promised my Dad and there is no point in dwelling on it, that was the choice I made. If I could time travel I would go back and tell myself to leave I would. Now she needs too much help and I don't trust social services to help. I emailed in August, they said ten weeks for an assessment and last week we got a letter saying they hadn't forgotten us they were just under strain.... From the experience my sister has consistently had and from what I have seen in hospital and via doctors, old people are effectively clogging up the system and are an inconvenience who are ignored without someone standing up for them and my morals and my love for her won't allow me to abandon her to that kind of treatment. Plus covid is again a scary prospect. 

Nevertheless today was so hard. She is angry I have had to go back to doing her pills, she got angry because she didn't want breakfast till 1.30 and then got hungry at 4pm when shock horror I didn't want to eat (had eaten already) I was so tired it was unreal  despite sleeping for 8 hours (unheard of really) and so none of it was a good combination. I was also angry, sick to absolute death of hearing her be so cheerful and articulate chatting to my sisters and me getting told off like a child because I put the guinea pigs in the hall cos I wanted to hoover.  I feel like a skivvy, between having covid and being flat out at work the house is disgusting. Today I semi sorted the fridge, threw away FOUR bags of food, organised dinners for the week and cleaned about 70% of the kitchen before I just lost my rag. I went to bed for couple of hours. I think I am mostly upset that I don't have my car as I feel I can't escape, before I had covid I was happy to walk to the high street etc but now I am afraid I won't be able to. Tomorrow the dogs are being groomed and I have to walk them there and back. I am worried about managing it. 

I can't take the rubbish to the tip, which makes me feel uncomfortable and like things are out of control. It also forced me to remember the days before could drive and how mum and I would go together and then when I could drive we still took two loads - I did the emptying of the cars. Despite some disagreements we did well. I think that is what mum struggles with, and I should be more sympathetic about - that she was fully capable of looking after the house and herself. I understand why she almost lies to my sisters - they both last saw her when she was fully well. Part of the reason why the place is a state is because she won't decide or tell me/ask me what needs doing. Which I also understand as then she would feel like she was using me. She hates relying on me. Hates it. We simply aren't that kind of family. I do think the break I had with covid has thrown me, I have lost my resilience? I got to watch tv, tidy up, eat what I wanted (well for the week I had an appetite! ) and I felt like me for a bit. Now I am back to feeling guilty that I overslept this morning and didn't hoover. Not that mum cares, she would never say anything about it and encouraged me to sit down this afternoon when she could tell i was tired.

Some how I need to make this house work better. I just need to freeze time to be able to do it. 

efes_shareholder

please be kind to yourself , i get your are overwhelmed and feeling the pressure to get on top of things but you are recovering from a nasty virus and have a challenging job and you know what , if you look for things to do you will always find them.
Try and do some self care , take time out for you , allocate a nap time and take it - the wheels wont truly come off.
Just do the essentials , washing up , laundry , bin emptying , everything else can keep.

beanielou

Toyota~~drove them for nearly 30 years.
Audi.

stymied

The fatigue and depression post covid is real. It will get better.

I guess you could start making lists of what needs to be done on the fridge so both of you can see them?

Change is hard. Does it matter if you get criticised about separate meals if it means you get to eat what you want, even if it’s only a couple of times a week? I would prioritise food you enjoy as it boosts spirits.

Sorry you got told off for temporary move of the Guinea pigs!

Buffythedebtslayer

efes_shareholder said:

please be kind to yourself , i get your are overwhelmed and feeling the pressure to get on top of things but you are recovering from a nasty virus and have a challenging job and you know what , if you look for things to do you will always find them.
Try and do some self care , take time out for you , allocate a nap time and take it - the wheels wont truly come off.
Just do the essentials , washing up , laundry , bin emptying , everything else can keep.

Thank you Efes XXXXX 
You are right when you say if you look for things you will always find them! *closes eyes whilst sitting on the sofa* 

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou said:

Toyota~~drove them for nearly 30 years.
Audi.

I like Toyota. Mum had one. XX 

Buffythedebtslayer

stymied said:

The fatigue and depression post covid is real. It will get better.

I guess you could start making lists of what needs to be done on the fridge so both of you can see them?

Change is hard. Does it matter if you get criticised about separate meals if it means you get to eat what you want, even if it’s only a couple of times a week? I would prioritise food you enjoy as it boosts spirits.

Sorry you got told off for temporary move of the Guinea pigs!

I think I might try the separate meals post Christmas as you are right, she barely eats anyway and you can't ever predict when she will or won't. 

She did apologise for Guinea pig gate... bloody ridiculous my life at times!!