The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

crazy_cat_lady

I just wanted to send you a massive amount of love Buffy - as always.
Take care my lovely.

Buffythedebtslayer

Got in yesterday after a relatively ok day at work - I did feel rough tho, kept spelling words wrong and getting names wrong and was looking forward to a quiet evening post shopping delivery. 

Not to be. I walked in the door as mum's phone was ringing - at almost 6 pm, it was the hospital, blood test results, she needed to go to A and E to have a drip to sort out her INR levels. 

The woman on the phone made it sound as if we could just nip down there, she was sending an e mail with all the details to A and E. 

I currently have no car - but that is a whole different story of disaster. 

She tell did us to eat and not rush as it would be a long wait so we did that - she even mentioned blankets on the phone which I thought was extreme but hey!

Cab cost 30 quid there. We arrived at 8.15. We got home at 3am. They made -because of covid rules mum (she is still isolating) sit in the foyer of A and E - in the freezing cold with sliding doors for almost 2 hours, I got a blanket and some sheets to wrap her in, then - to be fair the nurses and doctors were brilliant in the worst I have ever seen a and e, they found a chair in a ward for people with covid and treated her there, that took 3 hours - to essentially decide they weren't going to give her a drip they were just going to send her home with me to look after her. 

I set cover and went to bed at 5.20 this morning, an knackered. So so knackered with a horrible headache. And A and E and the NHS generally are definitely 100 % in trouble. 

Buffythedebtslayer

In other news, this week has been terrible, truly a hard time for a lot of my friends and I. Life with covid now seems to be truly difficult for so many of us and more problems keep being uncovered. I keep waiting for things not to be hard or things not to a struggle or for something good to happen. I mean last night I couldn't really message anyone as my phone is now so knackered the battery runs out constantly and I knew I only had enough to order an Uber once. It was actually frightening. My car is knackered as much as I love it and this means twice recently it has been at the mechanics when I desperately needed it. I cannot put myself under such strain and difficulty when my life seems to be nothing but strain and difficulty. It was so stressful, I can't even explain how stupid I felt as a professional educated woman sitting in A and E needing cash (which I found) and a phone charger (which I didn't find) and not having a decent car we could wait in. And sadly because all my friends have children there wasn't anyone who could pick us up (not that I could risk calling) and to be honest most people don't ever think I would need help cos I always sort things. Which I did, but it was fairly heart attack inducing I understand I can't be prepared for every emergency and this is just !!!!!! luck but I am really getting in my own way at the moment. That must stop. I must do all I can to make my life easier.  If I had a decent car last night would have been better, and in general not going to work freezing cold and having to wait ages to demist and dry out would be good too! 

With all that in my mind,  I have decided to take out a bank loan and buy a much better car.  I want to keep the dream of my own place alive so I won't use the savings and will continue to save
. I will also purchase a new phone. I can borrow 8000 for 4 years for 178 a month and can over pay. I will check in my mechanic as to what I can get. But I want some thing better than my lovely 22 year old car..... 

mothernerd

Hugs Buffy.

badmemory

It is one thing to drive a car that lets you down when you are free of responsibilites & your friends are too, so they can help.  I had parents who turned up a couple of times to get me where I needed to be or even lend me a car.  But once you start accumulating those responsibilites, as you have, then it gets a whole lot more hairy & peace of mind looms a whole lot larger.

milann

You need a phone an reliable transport. I don’t know what your mums condition is, but would she qualify for Motability?

greenbee

If part of the reason you need the car is due to your role as carer for your mum, then she needs to contribute - either directly or by reducing your rent. And she needs to consider how she compensates you for the time and effort you spend looking after her and offset that against rent. Otherwise she needs to thing about employing someone to do the day-to-day stuff that you are currently doing for her. She also needs to think about what she would have done if you hadn't been able to help her yesterday. It's tough, but these are conversations that need to be had. 

beanielou

milann said:

You need a phone an reliable transport. I don’t know what your mums condition is, but would she qualify for Motability?

Sadly not.
Has to be awarded before 65.

beanielou

Sending love as always.

RosaBernicia

Big hugs Buffy. 

Do you have a power pack for your phone?  I generally carry one and the cable in my bag along with headphones etc, it just means you have that option if your phone or Kindle gets low and there isn't always a socket available.  Cheaper than a new phone and easily ordered from you know where. 

And re transport I agree with Greenbee, you - and I mean YOU personally, not your mum - should be getting whatever benefits are available for her transport, care etc.  Whether that's carer's allowance or renegotiated rent.  (Which should be spent on actually keeping your home in a reasonable standard.  If you are without heating in a private rental you can reclaim from the landlord.  I'm still flummoxed as to how the house supposedly costs £800 a month to run if that isn't including basics like the boiler service and heating all the rooms.)  And it's not just the time now that needs taking into account, when it has an impact on your job that's affecting your future and you should be compensated. 

Re cars, do you really need to spend that much - are you wanting something specific?  My current one was £4500 7 years back, super reliable make, major parts warrantied, ridiculously low mileage when I got it.  Never needed anything beyond tyres and it's a good little runabout.  If you have a look online, you'll be able to see what's out there to help figure what you want and if you buy one elsewhere you can always take it to your own mechanic for a check over.