The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

milann

I remember once being told that food is a very powerful emotional and controlling tool. Like somebody else (sorry not sure if it was Greenbee) offer her whatever you’re having. If she says no - don’t push it. I know my mil and sil used to get in terrible turmoil about how little mil was eating……I remember mil saying how her tummy would become knotted as she was waiting for sil to ‘have a go at her for not eating’ sil would say she was getting worried because mil wasn’t eating. I think it was a nurse that was visiting told sil to take the pressure off and offer titbits but only ask once. She did this - stopped going on to mil about it…..slowly but surely mil (she was in her 90s) began to enjoy bits of food. She never had an enormous appetite but did begin to enjoy the bits she ate once the pressure was taken away. Does your mum enjoy milky coffee or hot chocolate…..a way of getting calories and protein into her and a pot of grapes 

Buffythedebtslayer

She does like Cocoa. That is a good idea. XXX 

Work was sucky but got through parents evening ok, I do honestly like my students. They are funny  

Home in a cab, but got dinner on ok and did all my chores. Car will be ready tomorrow. I have taken out the loan to get a head start on the interest. I have set myself a few targets for 2022. 

Mum seems better today. She has eaten dinner 4 days in a row now so that is good. 

RosaBernicia

oooh is this the new car?  What kind? 

badmemory

I'm with Milann on this food thing.  I think having something healthy she can nibble on even if all day may be better than a full meal.  I am older now & totally understand where my father was coming from when he said the more you put on my plate the less I feel able to eat.  When I first started eating at my friend's families houses they used to give me such piles on my plate that you couldn't actually tell if I had eaten any at all.  It took months before I could persuade them that it wasn't the cooking but the quantity. 

I think keeping her fluids up is more important & easy to eat food/fruit as healthy as possible & then STOP WORRYING.  You getting stressed over it will lead to her getting stressed & then eating even less.  It isn't like she needs over 2000 calories a day, more like 1200 if that.

beanielou

If its any consolation you know my mum is 80 soon(we are having a quiz!!) & hardly eats at all these days.

Jellytotts

My mum is really bad with food too.  She can't eat a full slice of toast for breakfast.  Will have maybe 5 or 6 chips or a spoon of mash with her dinner, a few veg for decoration (veg just tastes green apparently, well it will if you boil it to death) and a sausage is a push.  If they treat themselves to fish and chips they share an OAP sized portion and still throw at least half away.  If she has a poached egg on a crumpet she'll not finish it.  Most days they share a banana for pudding because they couldn't eat a whole one each and then a few grapes or tin of fruit salad (which will do them both puddings for 2 days - standard size tin).

When they come here for a meal she has to keep pointing out how much we eat and how it would do her for a week.   I simply put food in bowls on the table and let them help themselves. 

milann

Jellytots that is what I did when mil came to me. Let her help herself from bowls….she’d take a bit then often get a bit more. Sil couldn’t understand why she would eat for me and not for her……there was no anxiety or expectations here…..but I know I only had her once in a while and my sil had her every day…..makes a difference 👍

tunathe_cat

hi, just caught up remember baby steps and be kind to yourself x.    Car idea  we purchased this August, preloved  a car ex mobility, they are low mileage and below market value, generally well looked after mechanically (except beanielou car). So I was able to go for higher spec  heated front seats bliss!.  Why just accept you and mum eat differently .  When you have your own pad you will probably just cook for you- So do it now why delay.  Hope pets are all behaving if you was not in the teaching profession , I would say train as vet think of the money you would save!  with love Andrea x

beanielou

tunathe_cat said:

hi, just caught up remember baby steps and be kind to yourself x.    Car idea  we purchased this August, preloved  a car ex mobility, they are low mileage and below market value, generally well looked after mechanically (except beanielou car). So I was able to go for higher spec  heated front seats bliss!.  Why just accept you and mum eat differently .  When you have your own pad you will probably just cook for you- So do it now why delay.  Hope pets are all behaving if you was not in the teaching profession , I would say train as vet think of the money you would save!  with love Andrea x

Good to hear from you

Buffythedebtslayer

It is weirdly comforting to know other people  with older people in their life have the same issue, I more or less leave her lunch or lunch options, and she hasn't been too bad with dinner this week. I have decided to not fight it any more. I am going to decide what we eat and she can like it or lump. I said a while ago I wanted things to change but she has been SO ill getting any momentum up had been hard but I am not giving up. Things are going to be better. 

XXXX