The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

warby68

Its soul destroying cooking for someone who turns their nose up at it and it isn't worth the battle to introduce new or even compromise meals to the elderly (in my experience)

I second the votes for finding easier ways to provide what she likes. The components of a roast can be redone very successfully. You could even try one of the delivered ready meals services for a couple of days a week. They tend to be of the meat and 2 veg variety.  I plate up a couple of meals for my mum whenever we have a meal I know she likes. She is always delighted with these and has no problem with rewarming as she's from the no waste generation.

Your mum does sound unreasonable with the high rent and the lack of acknowledgement for your care. It sounds as if she is perpetuating the position (now false) that she is doing you more of a favour than you are doing for her. My mum is difficult in her own ways but unfailing in her appreciation for what I do for her and that does help a lot.

Grumpelstiltskin

Buffy  Lurker here.
 Is there a reason why she won't eat frozen ready meals?
All the supermarkets do traditional English ones.
Or places like Wiltshire Farm Foods?

Sun_Addict

Mr SA and I never have the same evening meal. I don't eat meat and he's a real carnivore. He won't eat pasta or rice, likes his meat and two veg, won't try anything different. I make it work by making a couple of portions of my meal so I can freeze one or have it another day.  I also cook a lot of his meals in the slow cooker. 

milann

I’m another who often eats differently from my dh as I’m not a spice lover and he is. I just plate up meals in little boxes when I’m cooking and re heat them as and when we want. I just do extra each time I cook and then just have to add instant gravy if it’s a roast as I don’t like my meat frozen and covered in a lot of gravy. I’d be tempted to make and freeze a pan of mash then freeze in small portions and buy some Aunt Bessies roasties if she wants roasts. You can just heat up a potato at a time. Cook a joint of meat and slice and freeze in portions so you have an easy meal for her that she will eat. Then you can have whatever you like.

WinterWarrior

I have back up frozen meals for days when I don’t want to bother. My H likes meat based meals, so I’ll have toad in the hole or shepherds pie kind of things, then lasagne or pizza for me. Pizza is good as I save half for my lunch the next day. There are some pre-frozen ready meals that aren’t too bad…for shepherds pie I will slap it in a giant Yorkshire, add some peas and gravy and they can’t tell it was a frozen ready meal at all. You may be able to side step the dislike of ready meals by making a few tweaks before you present them to her…and not mentioning they came from the freezer? 

beanielou

Could you get something like Wiltshire food meals or Parslex box meals delivered so your mum could still eat what she likes & you could cook what you like & then eat together? 

Jellytotts

I'm a great advocate of doing a once a week cook up where I can. If I'm making mash then I'm using an entire bag of spuds, mashing it all and then portioning up for the freezer or putting into portion sizes in Pyrex dishes, they can go in the oven to warm through whilst you're cooking a chop or a few sausages.  

Bulk cook some pasta too, cool it down in ice cold water as soon as it's cooked, glug of olive oil over it and bung it in a covered bowl, you can scoop some out to mix with salad for your lunch or to go with sausages/chicken breast/pork steak...whatever meat you'll both eat to make it a bit easier on yourself.  You can jazz up your pasta with whatever veg you're doing for your mum, add some herb and cheese and you've got yourself an acceptable meal for the time it takes to make what your mum will eat too.

Make a big batch of savoury mince up, portion half down for your mum ready to top with mash for cottage pie and bung some tomato puree in yours with herbs and spices and you've got a bolognaise or chilli to go with your pasta or rice.  

I made a big slow cooker full of chilli at the weekend, added loads of extra veg and lentils and made it stretch. We had it with chips, we'll have it on jacket spuds, 2 portions will go in the freezer and tonight we're having it on a pizza base with extra peppers, tomatoes and onions.  It took less than 10 minutes to prepare and cooked on medium for 5 hours until it was ready.  By making up batches like this you'll save yourself a lot of time over the evenings when you're tired from work.

Willowtree222

I don’t know why but I suspect Buffy’s mum Will refuse this. Have I read this in here that meals delivered have been tried?

I’m not sure why as if you weren’t there what would she do or eat? I think I’d have thrown in the towel by now Buffy. You’re doing incredibly well especially given your job. Please be kind to yourself x

Grumpelstiltskin

Willowtree222 said:

I don’t know why but I suspect Buffy’s mum Will refuse this. Have I read this in here that meals delivered have been tried?

I’m not sure why as if you weren’t there what would she do or eat? I think I’d have thrown in the towel by now Buffy. You’re doing incredibly well especially given your job. Please be kind to yourself x

Yes Buffy what would happen if you were run over by a bus tomorrow?

If you were unconscious in hospital what would happen?

Buffythedebtslayer

That is a lot of thoughtful posts to come back too XXXX

We can't have delivered meals as sister has tried them and didn't like them, so mum decided they aren't for her. I do get the ready meals from supermarkets but she will only eat them once or twice before she doesn't want them anymore. The 30 minute oven ready meals are good so far. They are all meat which is why I was trying something else. Tonight it is meant to be pasta which she will now eat so long as it is covered in cheese sauce. However I seriously need to try for petrol and I am waiting for a food delivery. 

Mum would survive as at the moment she is doing better. But she can't turn the oven on or really control the heating. She can't really do plugs either. She can do her pills but it isn't safe for her to do so as she has to use scissors to stab at the packets... She really isn't ungrateful - she raves about me to my sisters, but that obviously isn't directly at me so I only know cos they say she does say thank you all the time. I do think it is the constant expectation that I am here to be her gopher that is my problem. It never ends. 

I have had a headache today and thought I would vomit at work. I am so tired I could cry. Might sack off the petrol tonight. Take some pain killers, early night..............oh no I can't cos I have to be up until mum goes to bed. That is what is hard. Everything is dependent on her.