The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

Buffythedebtslayer

RosaBernicia said:

Crikey.  Why does life have to be so bloody awkward.  Never as simple as you miss him and he misses you, is it? 

Let's hope that's him closure-d and space cleared for somebody better! 

RB xx

We both said we missed each other. Have thought of little else all day. I actually just want to sit here and cry for the missed opportunity. Absolutely sob. 

Of course I can't cos I am going through sainsbury's hell with mum, and have chops cooking. so tired, 

Buffythedebtslayer

attempted 40 winks on the sofa but dogs wanted to go out which woke me up. 

No petrol anywhere here, deep cleaned the outside rabbits, re potted some house plants.... Seriously considering rehoming small bun. I know that sounds terrible but I got her for the house bun. And he has gone. And she is horrendous. goes for me every day, getting her litter tray out is a big old stress. She maybe better once spayed. I hate the thought of giving her up but I just can't see her being friends with the others. That is silly tho. She was ok with house bun through the buns, never aggressive. 

Decided I will get rid of the big hutch. Cleaning it out is really hard and although my pair love it, trying to neutralise it when the four go together will be hard work. It is also chewed to bits and I think one of the legs will give way.... I will build the four foot one I got the guinea pigs (!) and paint that and the smaller one the foster buns are using. Small bun would have the other hutch I bought which would be easier to keep in the extension. Just in case the rabbit police are reading (if you know you know) the hutches are never shut. They are just shelters. The aviary space is 78 square foot, with a 24 foot extension. 

I need to do my walk, otherwise we will never eat. Am hungry already.....

stymied

If you set the rate then surely that means with a ‘change in market conditions’ you can change the rate? Unless what your mum let slip was that your rent is keeping her from starvation in which case you’re kind of morally stuck.

What would honestly happen if you said “I’m sorry mum, I can only afford x at the moment if I’m ever going to be able to get on the property ladder” and then change your standing order?

RosaBernicia

Maybe you could look out for a home for small bun, even if not immediately?  I know it's hard but anything that gives you a bit of time and brain space back is worth considering. 

RosaBernicia

Buffythedebtslayer said:

Essentially if I wanted any sort of security I should move up north. It would be a massive wrench but I could currently (with my 11500) buy a 2/3 bedroom house, rent out a room, work supply until I found a job I liked and keep the animals. Of course would really only happen if Mum went into a home but then.... how would I ever see her if I were so far away or help my sister? I know people do it, but I don't especially want that. Still I may not have the choice. 

Being on the other side of relocation drama - well, basically I recommend it.  It is a relief just to be out from under the mad costs and I feel so much more secure - I could afford to keep this house even if I had to downshift jobs, and I could also downsize to a garden flat. 

If your mum isn't willing to give you any leeway in your rent for her house, so that you can at least save to make some compensation for the mortgage payments and security you are missing out on, then she ought to be prepared for you to look at alternatives.  Doesn't this also work the other way round, in that if you move out, she will have to go into a home?  How long are you prepared to wait?  How long have you got to pay off a mortgage before your retirement age? 

I guess it would be difficult to get her into a home near you if you moved, but how often do you think you could visit one in the area where you are now?  Could you come back every other weekend to begin with? 

Sorry if those questions sound nosy or harsh - you certainly don't have to answer them and you may have thought them through already.  But this situation seems so unfair on you and I wish there was / hope there will be a way to figure things out for your needs, not just your mum.

RB xx 

beanielou

Good idea to find a home for the bun I think.

Buffythedebtslayer

I am too tired tonight to think about it all. I don't think I would come back every weekend, I don't know. Could I buy a place and leave it empty?? Go up in the holidays? I couldn't rent it straight away cos of the ISA I have.....and then rent it out later on? 

I love talking to you guys, You make me think. I just went and looked at places near my best mate. We had terrible news from her family tonight, life is utterly horrendous at the moment. It truly is. I wish I was there. 

XXXX

RosaBernicia

Buffythedebtslayer said:

I am too tired tonight to think about it all. I don't think I would come back every weekend, I don't know. Could I buy a place and leave it empty?? Go up in the holidays? I couldn't rent it straight away cos of the ISA I have.....and then rent it out later on? 

I love talking to you guys, You make me think. I just went and looked at places near my best mate. We had terrible news from her family tonight, life is utterly horrendous at the moment. It truly is. I wish I was there. 

XXXX

Sorry to hear about your friend's family.  Surely if you have a link nearby it would be less of a wrench?  I found it really helpful even to meet a friend who was only in the country once a month and knowing that a couple of others were near enough to meet for lunch on a weekend. 

Re leaving somewhere empty, you would need to check insurance - my mortgage company insisted I needed specialist insurance when I moved out (even though it was up for sale) and the company they insisted on would only do it if someone was visiting at least every 14 days.  Also, if you eventually want to live there (quite apart from the emotional attachment and the potential for dodgy tenants) you would need to know what your options were to ensure that your tenants moved out in time.  And tbh, adding rental to your stress levels would not be ideal unless something else also changes with your situation - otherwise you risk ending up with job, care work and landlord duties. 

If your mum accepts she has to move, might she agree to move to a home in your new area?  Or would that screw up funding arrangements (there must be some allowance for this situation?). 

Hope you get some good sleep and tomorrow is better. 

RB xx

Buffythedebtslayer

RosaBernicia said:

Buffythedebtslayer said:

I am too tired tonight to think about it all. I don't think I would come back every weekend, I don't know. Could I buy a place and leave it empty?? Go up in the holidays? I couldn't rent it straight away cos of the ISA I have.....and then rent it out later on? 

I love talking to you guys, You make me think. I just went and looked at places near my best mate. We had terrible news from her family tonight, life is utterly horrendous at the moment. It truly is. I wish I was there. 

XXXX

Sorry to hear about your friend's family.  Surely if you have a link nearby it would be less of a wrench?  I found it really helpful even to meet a friend who was only in the country once a month and knowing that a couple of others were near enough to meet for lunch on a weekend. 

Re leaving somewhere empty, you would need to check insurance - my mortgage company insisted I needed specialist insurance when I moved out (even though it was up for sale) and the company they insisted on would only do it if someone was visiting at least every 14 days.  Also, if you eventually want to live there (quite apart from the emotional attachment and the potential for dodgy tenants) you would need to know what your options were to ensure that your tenants moved out in time.  And tbh, adding rental to your stress levels would not be ideal unless something else also changes with your situation - otherwise you risk ending up with job, care work and landlord duties. 

If your mum accepts she has to move, might she agree to move to a home in your new area?  Or would that screw up funding arrangements (there must be some allowance for this situation?). 

Hope you get some good sleep and tomorrow is better. 

RB xx

My head is currently full of ideas again. Nice. not been for a while. Looking at the ISA  rules I would lose either a 1000 pounds or if I got to 12000, 3000 

It would take another 2 years to get to 12000 in the ISA. I cannot wait that long. So if I went for buy to let then I would lose a 1000 but I can deal with that. However I am quite struck by having a bolt hole and get what you mean about landlord duties. 

Mum wouldn't move. not at all. But I wouldn't expect her to really. 

I just looked at a two bedroom house for 60,000, it had exactly the same stairs as the house I was born in. Wow. 

Any how. tomorrow I will book the finance guy my friends use. I have to get a cab into work which is annoying! 13 quid! 

Jellytotts

Please don’t buy a buy to let property that you intend to live in if/when your mum moves into a home.  How do you propose to line up tenants moving out with when you need the property? What if they refuse to leave and you need to go through court to get them evicted? What if they trash the place and you need to refurbish before moving in, would you have funds? The new requirements for gas and electricity checks in rental properties can be costly if it needs new wiring/consumer units to be installed and signed off.

Get the savings behind you and start looking to buy for you, not because you are being made homeless. Do it on your terms, not when forced because your mum is needing to go into a home.  If your move forces mum to need more help and support from social services then that’s what they are there for.  You can make trips to see your mum every few weeks, your sister can too and your sister in the US can speak to her on the phone as I assume she does now.  

You have to put yourself first.