The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

RosaBernicia

Have you been up and scouted out the area you are thinking of?  Even a weekend wandering around and people watching from coffee shops might help you figure out which parts you want to live in and which you don't.  I know it's really easy to assume that a roof over your head is the main thing, especially when the costs seem so low compared to elsewhere - but there are usually reasons places are cheap and you need to know what matters most to you so you can narrow down the search.  That might help you figure out how you feel about the idea too - if it turns out you feel weird when you're there, you can focus your efforts on down south, if you love it you can prioritise moving. 

(I think @doingitanyway did a lot of scouting trips, and in a much more sensible and organised fashion than me - maybe you could check back on her diary for tips, or DIA might give you a summary!)

badmemory

It is worth remembering too that the further north you go the cooler it gets.

Buffythedebtslayer

Still no petrol. 

Mum didn't like dinner. I am tired of cooking stuff and finding she doesn't like it. I like tomato based food and she doesn't. It was sausage casserole. 

Too tired and too utterly and completely fed up with the whole !!!!!! show. 

beanielou

No wonder Buffy 

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou said:

No wonder Buffy 

I don't have enough petrol to drive around on the off chance. Was at work Friday when the local places got deliveries, (they seem to get them in the middle of the night) at work on Saturday, and looking after Mum on Sunday. I did go looking in the evening but no where had any by then. I am hoping tomorrow will be more normal and I can queue in the evening. I can't actually believe it has come to this. so much money spent on cabs. 

xxxx

stymied

Is there anyone at work you can ask for a lift in? Xx

greenbee

Buffy - when my mum and I spend time together it's hard working out meals to suit us both. If it's only a couple of days we can cope, but as she has ulcerative colitis and I'm supposed to be low carb to help my long covid, we have to work out meals that suit both of us. It can be hard - and it means things like casseroles are best avoided. If we make meals with separate components then we can each eat the bits that we need and not the ones that will cause problems. Traybakes work, as we can usually pick things out. Obviously it's easier when it's only for short periods of time, and also my mum does a lot of the cooking, so its not just me having to do it - we're both doing the work and both aware of the compromises.

It does sound like you need a break, and recognition that you're acting as an unpaid carer. Perhaps if your mum is insisting on keeping charging you so much rent you could counter it with payment for the cooking/shopping/taking her to appointments/etc that you do for her?

Buffythedebtslayer

stymied said:

Is there anyone at work you can ask for a lift in? Xx

I have exhausted all favours in that department. Friday and Saturday, plus now two friends are off sick and I have to be in earlier than other people cos of meetings. It all sucks big ones. 

Buffythedebtslayer

greenbee said:

Buffy - when my mum and I spend time together it's hard working out meals to suit us both. If it's only a couple of days we can cope, but as she has ulcerative colitis and I'm supposed to be low carb to help my long covid, we have to work out meals that suit both of us. It can be hard - and it means things like casseroles are best avoided. If we make meals with separate components then we can each eat the bits that we need and not the ones that will cause problems. Traybakes work, as we can usually pick things out. Obviously it's easier when it's only for short periods of time, and also my mum does a lot of the cooking, so its not just me having to do it - we're both doing the work and both aware of the compromises.

It does sound like you need a break, and recognition that you're acting as an unpaid carer. Perhaps if your mum is insisting on keeping charging you so much rent you could counter it with payment for the cooking/shopping/taking her to appointments/etc that you do for her?

Mum essentially likes meat and two veg meals, I don't really and I wouldn't always have dinner, but it is a constant event for her and given that she doesn't really eat much all day I do see why but she never fancies anything and so I end up just trying things. 

and then she doesn't eat it and so on and so on. If I could cook lamb or chicken and roast potatoes each night she would be ok but I just don't want to eat that much meat and she doesn't eat vegetarian food. And doesn't like pasta or pizza, which are my favourites. 

I think I will look at cooking different meals for us. I know it is a lot of work but I am tired of eating food I don't like. And that way I can make stuff for my lunch too. And sometimes just have toast. XXX 

badmemory

Just a bit of background to what I am going to suggest.  Over 40 years ago when I was pregnant I was sick for 8 months.  Not really sick you understand, but morning sickness all day for the whole time & couldn't even stand a pan of boiling plain water & my then husband was working away Mon - fri.  So he used to cook a joint on Sat & another on Sun & then make up plates of full dinners, then I would microwave one every night.  Do you think that sort of thing might work for you?  Then you could just cook for yourself.  You could also batch cook a pasta base & just heat that & add the actual pasta on the day as it does not in my opinion freeze too well.

Mum need never even know you are cooking her meals in advance.  How did we manage before microwaves were invented?