The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

Buffythedebtslayer

Still no petrol but work is over with. 

I am so unhappy. I mean. Well I am not, I think right now I am relieved the pressure is off for a bit. Mum has been back and forth to the hospital and is getting more treatment and generally seems more with it even tho the pain is bad. Work is awful but I am not there now. I am going out with my "special" friend... next weekend and then away in Nov with some good friends 

However long term, I am getting frightened. I have zero security (and yes I know it is a myth!) and Mum will need care. This house will go for fees and I will be homeless( I know I can rent, so won't be on the streets but I will lose a lot). That is the reality. 

I need to save more money. I save a clear 500 each month for the house. And another 500 for " emergency costs" like the car, the vets, hopefully now the house bun has gone I won't have as much to pay out. I have 1200 in the emergency fund but 500 will go for the last vet bill so it will be 700. I also need to pay out for the rabbit vaccinations. And to get the small bun spayed. That will all be about 350? so hopefully at the end of October (plus500) it will be about 850? And then it is time for the car to have the MOT and Tax! 

And regarding the car, that I LOVE it is not meeting any of the low emissions stuff and now only takes the E5 petrol. I do only drive it to work and were I to go on supply I would more than likely use public transport regardless of the car I had I think... 

Ultimately I do need to change it tho. What do you all reckon? I was going to put away money into another account.....

XXXX

stymied

If you love your car then keep it! You need to have something you love.

You may be able to stay in the house but you’re right it’s not a certainty. Does your sis have space for you while you save up some more? Could you pay your mum less without needing to have a major discussion about it? Will your insurance cover any of the last vet bill?

I hope you get a chance to do something you enjoy this evening / tomorrow xx

Buffythedebtslayer

stymied said:

At least it’s Friday! Please tell more about rabbit enclosure. Have you permanently adopted foster bunnies now or are you still hoping to rehome them?

Do you have anything lined up to do with friends this weekend?

I have decided since losing house bun to keep them. I won't be able to keep them if I have to rent. But I will cross that bridge when I set fire to it. 

I bought smaller panels to build a grass run for my pair and a small extension but I had to put it up in a hurry for foster buns and it wasn't great! I worked out that I can make an extension to the aviary. I can eventually put a tunnel from the extension to a run on the grass. 

I am going to rebuild it so it is 6 foot by 4 foot with the big hutch in it, for the small bun for now. It won't be enough room long term but she will be ok for a bit - warm and safe from foxes. 

Eventually I will cut a hole in the panels on the big aviary once all the rabbits are bonded and they can all come and go as they please - well between the two spaces. Hopefully I can crack on with it tomorrow - not meant to rain, tho everything will be wet through. 

RosaBernicia

Oh Buffy.  I don't mean this to sound critical of you, but it is bonkers that you are paying market rent while doing so much care work.  Would your sister support you in re-negotiating things? 

badmemory

I know you are not going to like this, but it is really time you unloaded some of your resonsibilities.  They are damaging your health and that won't help anyone (especially not you).

Buffythedebtslayer

RosaBernicia said:

Oh Buffy.  I don't mean this to sound critical of you, but it is bonkers that you are paying market rent while doing so much care work.  Would your sister support you in re-negotiating things? 

It is bonkers. But no she wouldn't. Mainly cos they are all labouring under the assumption that mum is correct when she declares she won't go into a care home, No one knows that!  Oh and that I am loaded and wouldn't need anything. I daren't tell you what mum let slip regarding rent. Suffice to say it took a lot to admit it to my best friend and that was bad enough. I have even sat here and showed her local rents but it makes no difference. Unfortunately when she needed the money I put my rent up and now she just says I set the rate. 

Buffythedebtslayer

Mum just said she wishes our life would change and that she is sorry it is so rubbish at the moment. I didn't know what to say. I wish it would too. But to what? Politically things are bleak. She is unlikely to get much better, she can't be on steroids for ever (her next treatment). I don't want to change my job. 

And yes, I know I should give up the animals but I have so little that is mine and now without the house bun things are simpler. For example I can leave them over night now whereas I couldn't before. They do definitely relax me and cheer me up. Social services will eventually review mum and we will go from there. 

I think not having petrol has left me feeling highly vulnerable, the reality of day to day life is pretty much the same as anyone's ,I work, I cook, I clean, I look after someone. How many people reading this do the same thing? I have surprisingly for someone who lives such a weird life a lot of friends and no debt. A cab driver during the week told me I had a great attitude, that I was smiley and positive and that I would be fine in life. Lets go with that for now. 

beanielou

Glad that you are meeting some of the wonder bras soon Buffster  xxx

RosaBernicia

Buffythedebtslayer said:

RosaBernicia said:

Oh Buffy.  I don't mean this to sound critical of you, but it is bonkers that you are paying market rent while doing so much care work.  Would your sister support you in re-negotiating things? 

It is bonkers. But no she wouldn't. Mainly cos they are all labouring under the assumption that mum is correct when she declares she won't go into a care home, No one knows that!  Oh and that I am loaded and wouldn't need anything. I daren't tell you what mum let slip regarding rent. Suffice to say it took a lot to admit it to my best friend and that was bad enough. I have even sat here and showed her local rents but it makes no difference. Unfortunately when she needed the money I put my rent up and now she just says I set the rate. 

You're right, nobody knows what will happen to us.  I wish your mum would think of you and appreciate how much you are doing for her.  But as that's outside of anyone's control but hers, you do need another plan and it needs to be one that prioritises YOU. 

I hope the social services assessment will help change things - anything you can gain for saving now will help for later, and if it becomes clear you are delivering care she would otherwise have to pay for, you really should have that reflected.  Did you ever check out with a solicitor what your rights would be regarding the house?  And did you decide that you definitely want to stay in your current area or are you still considering shifting north? 

RB xx

Buffythedebtslayer

RosaBernicia said:

Buffythedebtslayer said:

RosaBernicia said:

Oh Buffy.  I don't mean this to sound critical of you, but it is bonkers that you are paying market rent while doing so much care work.  Would your sister support you in re-negotiating things? 

It is bonkers. But no she wouldn't. Mainly cos they are all labouring under the assumption that mum is correct when she declares she won't go into a care home, No one knows that!  Oh and that I am loaded and wouldn't need anything. I daren't tell you what mum let slip regarding rent. Suffice to say it took a lot to admit it to my best friend and that was bad enough. I have even sat here and showed her local rents but it makes no difference. Unfortunately when she needed the money I put my rent up and now she just says I set the rate. 

You're right, nobody knows what will happen to us.  I wish your mum would think of you and appreciate how much you are doing for her.  But as that's outside of anyone's control but hers, you do need another plan and it needs to be one that prioritises YOU. 

I hope the social services assessment will help change things - anything you can gain for saving now will help for later, and if it becomes clear you are delivering care she would otherwise have to pay for, you really should have that reflected.  Did you ever check out with a solicitor what your rights would be regarding the house?  And did you decide that you definitely want to stay in your current area or are you still considering shifting north? 

RB xx

Mum is leaving the house to the three of us but if she needs care the council take it to cover care costs. My local council is really strict about doing that, I don't meet the criteria to keep it or still inherit.There might be a possibility of keeping with a massive bill but not sure about that.  My best friend on the other hand, when they looked at care for her mum, the local council there weren't going to touch her house. A matter of 20 miles. 

Essentially if I wanted any sort of security I should move up north. It would be a massive wrench but I could currently (with my 11500) buy a 2/3 bedroom house, rent out a room, work supply until I found a job I liked and keep the animals. Of course would really only happen if Mum went into a home but then.... how would I ever see her if I were so far away or help my sister? I know people do it, but I don't especially want that. Still I may not have the choice. 

Really I need to be grateful for the savings, the lack of debt and the fact that I do have possibilities.