The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

milann

Hope the chemist gives you something to help.

RosaBernicia

Buffythedebtslayer said:

RosaBernicia said:

Oh Buffy.

You are entitled to your feelings, your opinion, and reasonable use of the house that you pay rent for.  Including a choice of TV programme.  And actual time off to enjoy yourself. 

Totally agree VCM is aces.   

This just reminds me that I must organise my room for me to be able to watch TV in etc. Before Covid and when my sister still came round I spent nearly all my time in my room or at work or out out. 

Time off. 

hmm. Well I have a plan, sort of for that. Once the exams are over I am going to book a weekend away. I was trying to book something for mum and I but it is hard without me driving far and her dislike of trains. 

Well, at least the out out option will hopefully be available again now. 

I don't know how you do it either.  If your help was valued and it was an occasional bust up that's one thing, but you seem to get the worst on all sides in paying rent, to do everything, without thanks.  

Sending a hug and a hot chocolate (unless it's too hot where you are, in which case sending something long cool and alcoholic!)

Alchemilla

Sending love and a reminder to try to re charge a bit xxx

mothernerd

I loved my mother and would have continued to do what she needed me to do (although unacknowledged and resented) but it was getting increasingly difficult and would have had to change. I've neglected my own health and amongst all the other emotions, I do have a sense of relief at her death - for her as well as me, life was increasingly difficult and she was ready to go. I'm not going to apologise for feeling that (or any other emotion).

Several people have reassured me that I was the best daughter possible to her. I know I did my best. But getting off the hamster wheel is wonderful - some days I wake up and think what I have to do or where I need to be and basically, I don't. There are things that need doing but a lot of the essential stuff is done and the rest can be done bit by bit.

Buffythedebtslayer

I did think of you Mothernerd, when I was speaking to Mum last night. I started writing here but I lost the post, typing it was hard the first time so I won't be doing that again XXX sending you love XXX 

Buffythedebtslayer

Can I just have opinions? 

We had 3 locks fixed today - the front door lock was impossible for mum to use so it was replaced with lower grade lock but much easier to open and close - tho mum still can't do it from the outside, she is better on the inside. 

Our expensive lock - that is useless to us, it is niggling at me that the locksmith took it with them. 

I think this is a mum thing  - everyone is on the make, you can't trust anyone, everyone is terrible etc etc. I mean we don't need it, can't use it. Why am I like this? The locksmith spent two hours here. was so kind to mum talked her through everything twice, never annoyed or impatient. I was so relieved to have a properly locking back door, three doors secure now. Such a relief I nearly cried! 

But still......... 

Opinions please. 

Willowtree222

Is it worth anything to sell? I’ve known tradesmen to clean up everything afterwards and take it all with them so perhaps it was just that?

If your mum hadn’t said anything would you have been bothered by it?

If you can’t use it/of no benefit to you then I personally wouldn’t be bothered by the fact it had gone. That might just be me though 🤷‍♀️ 

Buffythedebtslayer

In other news I cleared the conservatory. You can sit on the sofa, the fish tanks after all the shenanigans is finally level. My room is a bomb site as is the spare room. but it is progress. big progress. 

Mum's response was.....well you have broken the back of the conservatory. 

Ok then.  

badmemory

How about you feel a need to be angry at someone/something & he is a safe target

milann

‘You’ve broken the back of it’ is the type of compliment…..actually meant as a compliment my dad used to say. I’d take that as a positive 👍