NST Jolly Joyful July

mothernerd

Wednesday 21 July 2021

Your most important task today is JOY, even if there are some chores too.
Make sure to include at least one thing, person or activity that nourishes your soul and lights you up
www.wildspiritscoaching

You have to believe, in your heart, that even if you don't work hard and exercise and think positive thoughts and make new friends and march triumphantly into the future, you are enough. You will always have bad days. Being broken doesn't make you a loser. You can crumble and still be enough. Make that your religion moving forward. You are here to feel this moment. You are not here to become someone better. You are not here to impress or compete. You are not here to prove yourself. You are here to savour this life. Let down your guard. You are already enough. Believe it.
Ask Polly     

(I needed this today.) I was thinking about what I want/ need in my life, what direction I should be taking. I was very struck by something on minimalist mom - she had a list of reasons why we keep things and the third one was 'fantasy you'. You bought this thinking you would be the sort of person who .... (gives elaborate dinner parties, handcrafts wonderful things, can cope with a white sofa when you have children/ teenagers/ animals). It may be a craft you once did but now you have other things in your life and the tools and materials just make you feel guilty.

I'm having a major sort out in my life (physically/ mentally, both within myself and my surroundings) and I read a couple of 'finding your life purpose' articles and they just made me feel inadequate. I want to be honest and truly realistic and I have times (most of the time?) when just getting through the basics of the day is overwhelming (too much 'to do' left at the end of each day is just like having too much month left at the end of your money). So this helps.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have goals and seek to improve but some days all you can do is just 'be' and that is enough. 

When you've lived fully your home can be filled with beautiful reminders of what has mattered most to you. Unpack things and then give away or recycle what is simply clutter and live surrounded by what you love
Make room for what you love Melissa Michaels

 

Calling14

Thanks Mothernerd. Will plan something nice later.

Minor spend again today, needed some new potatoes and veg. Hopefully got something in the freezer to go with them.

Must plan meals better.

Feeling brain dead so hot in the afternoons in work. So glad halfway through the week.

Grateful for

Having a garden

Getting Hive to work eventually last night after wasted hour Thanks to online community. I needed hot water.

This forum just found out and printed off how much pension will be in 4 yrs time. Trying to plan ahead.

ditty1234

Joy:
After a troublesome interview that was more interested in budgets and money, than content and people I went to the park, sat in the shade, and drank a coffee. I did it, but now not sure of the outcome. 
Time to check on other things/futures tomorrow. 

apple_muncher

An interview iris both ways and you also get to choose if you want to work with themoornnot.

Well done!

apple_muncher

Pesky autocorrect!!! Just noticed 'iris'. It should have said 'works'!!! And 'them or not' at the end of the sentence!

Today has had lots of joy in it mothernerd:

.to be on hols from work and have time to chill out

.for my dc loving their early morning skateboarding

.for the clouds

.for a few more sweet peas managing to survive and flower

.for a choice of several good books

.for getting a good sweat on - yes, it involved burpees!

.for chats with neighbours

.for my new clothes from geeorge fitting me perfectly

.for sitting in the paddling pool listening to some podcasts

Deni_debt-free_dreamer

evening everyone

Have had 2 very busy work days which have both been NSDs.  Rang my car insurance yesterday as they had emailed to say policy would auto renew on 21st but money was taken out of my bank on 19th.  They told me they request the money three days before renewal but i said i was unhappy and had found lower deals & didn't want to renew with them so after giving me their spiel - i'm a valued customer, recognising I haven't made any claims blah blah, they offered a £40+ refund so i said ok to that  

DD2 got confirmation of her loan for her Masters and got excited for half a day till she checked and it is for fees and maintenance so now we are both panicking about money  

Gratitudes - aircon at work; PT job looking at giving me increments for passing my qualification; cake at work (but i only had one third of a slice

Love Deni

mothernerd

A mostly lying around day. Went to the shed earlyish to bring the fan in - mum didn't want it in last summer as she says it's too heavy for her to manage, but I brought it in and plugged it into the 'hallway' socket (hallway goes from the front door to the living room door with boiler cupboard door and kitchen door along one wall), as instructed. I was convinced we wouldn't get through the day without one of us tripping on the lead and going flying (good job I vetoed mum's plan to hang framed photos on the hall wall).

Took a bucket of water from the water butt and threw it at the broad beans as they were wilting a bit. Other things need water but couldn't make it outside again. Lay on the recliner reading, playing games and watching bits of a couple of series, catching any breeze from the fan that got past mum. Lady across the road is having some work done and we've had two stripped down lads (not boys but both younger than me) chopping at greenery, emptying a builder's bag full of sand and using a whomper (it's a something vibrating plate and it gives you whitefinger - industrial disease).

Mum wanted me to get their phone number and kept shouting every time one of them went to the van - why being at the van rather than 2 yards to the left doing work, meant he was more accessible beats me. Mum knows what she wants doing but of course this is a secret that cannot be divulged to me. She mentioned the corner and concreting so I suspect she wants the corner where mummy of twins made her the rockery she wanted last year and the bit where she made Mr Builder dig up her shrubs the year before that, concreting over. 

I wanted her to tell me because
a)  concreting it flat will mean people walk over it which could cause a problem when the bungalow needs to be sold as part of the property will have been used as a pathway;
b)  the pathway is sloping (wheel chair accessible) so if the concreting bridged the space between the path and the pavement it would have to be a sheer slope a very small space;
c)   I don't think it's fair after mummy of twins spent many half days bringing rocks a few at a time (in the available space between assorted car seats) and then time assembling and planting the rockery (and I had to search Pinter -est to find out how to make a rockery).

She's already destroyed the work done last year, by mummy of twins's twin who spent an afternoon doing hard digging to make a flat area where all the bins could go. I spent about a week digging, sifting  soil from stones and making space. We dug out to level with the base of the flags, then filled it with stone chippings so that no weeds would grow (I'd put weed proof membrane down the year before). She wanted us to dig out the three rose bushes planted there. Twin did the digging, I wrapped the roots so they would 'keep' until she let us know what to do with them - and then she threw them in the green bin a few weeks later.

Now it's a grotty - filled with plastic flowers and ornaments so dreadful they've been in the shed for the past two years and never unpacked in the 5 years she's been here. Last year's work undid the work I did the previous year which in turn modified the work I did the year before that (digging the area over, digging out all the edging stones that had been buried, cleaning and painting them and then setting them in place with soil behind, except for the little patch at the end which needed concreting to make a space for the blue bin.

Is it any wonder my heart quails and I cover my ears when she says the dread words "I've been thinking@. Anyway I told her they were probably going to put block paving down and then when I noticed the roll on top of the van (apparently they went away at lunchtime and came back in fresh t-shirts) I said it was fake grass, so she lost interest in me getting their phone number.

Some time between 2 pm and 3 pm, when I still couldn't summon the energy for a taxi ride to town/ home I suggested that I did an order for delivery as Tessimo still had slots available tomorrow. Made her put the list together with me - lots of fresh fruit, cereal she's out of, bread we're down to the last few slices (2 slices and one crust), bacon, milder cheese, lemon barley water, bacon, glacier mints, digestive biscuits and lots of scones (4 packs and two will be frozen). I will continue trying new to me recipes using tinned pulses and beans and frozen veg. So quite a spendy day but should be okay for the next week, possibly to the month end.

No idea where I'm up to spending wise (checked mum's bank account and showed her - she's fine) or how many NSDs I've racked up - 6 for the past week (it's a week since the last big shop and I know I spent something online one day). I was keeping track of things in my diary but that went missing for a while. I have various jottings in more than 2 notebooks but haven't managed to get it all together.

Progress
This time last week mum made some highly critical remarks (not atypical but she went to the bottom of the barrel). Strangely it's made me stronger. I will never look, be, do, say everything she thinks I should (years of torture for walking days and any other dress up occasion when she tried to get my hair to curl using curling tongs - the metal ones you heat in the fire or on a gas stove, singed or burnt off hair and the odd burn on my ears). Most of what she says is wrong in so many ways (this is why DS3 won't talk to her, he also gets mad on my behalf when I get home totally wiped out after a difficult day with her).

I was a bit wobbly but know I'm more 'me' than ever - 'me' is alright. I am good, kind, caring, do as much as possible in difficult circumstances. I'm okay with 'me'. Mum can look at a garden of flowers and will point out the single dandelion and that's how she sees me (unless I'm a slug in the garden). I'm managing to eat less and eat more 'good for me' things (broccoli and butterbeans is my favourite thing atm). I am listening hard to my body - the pickles I was craving did a lot of good, resetting my stomach. But I'm doing this for me, not her. I feel good about myself and it's easier to do the right things for me. I will also continue to put bits of joy into each and every day.

Gratitudes
Done all day without either of us tripping over the fan lead
A minor health matter which was out of control has been reduced by diligent action throughout the day
Getting mentally stronger, more me and making plans (which may include changing the room layout) 

Thrifty_Taylor

Good for you @mothernerd, don't let her get to you. Hugs to everyone that needs one.

Another overcast day here, so spent the day at my sewing machine. Put a new zip in a coat, then sewed together two chickens. Managed to stuff them both, ready for the hand stitching before a friend from work came over. We went a 3 mile circuit & put the world to rights, it did us both the world of good! She has a son older than my boys, he's sorted through his clothes, so she brought a box of trainers, a black bag of clothes & a shopping bag of books for me. It's like that festive time in December 😃

Grateful for new to us clothes & books, a nice walk, a phonecall with a friend this afternoon, oh & not forgetting another NSD, now on 12, or could be 13 lol, will have to check

ldee2111

Yesterday was NSD 6. It was so hot here and I think it’s to be the same again today. I don’t do well in heat but the washing dries so quickly and it’s good for the heating bill 😂 Yesterday evening OH and I hadn’t our lunch and dinner in the garden under the cover of the big parasol I recently bought. 

Our house really needs a tidy up and a clean but I cannot do what needs done in this heat. Just keeping on top of the kitchen, but the rest will need to wait until cooler days. 

Today we need a small top up to see us through to our weekly delivery on Saturday. We’ve now gone almost 2 months without a single takeaway which is quite an achievement for us given we used to get 3/4 a month. 

I’m going to visit the local recycling centre to deposit our microwave at some point today too. OH’s parents have a new microwave as part of a new caravan and have given us their old one which is better than our current secondhand mini one. I also need to do a charity shop drop with some of DS’s clothes - he has grown a whole inch in the last 4 months! 

Grateful for the benefits of the sun, a new-to-us microwave, and cooler mornings. 

Have a good day turtles

f0xh0les

Still on NSD 5 - This month may actually be a record!