Money Moral Dilemma: Should I foot the bills for our new home as my partner paid the deposit?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My partner and I recently bought our first home. He paid the majority of the deposit as he had savings when we first met and wanted to get on the property ladder as soon as possible. As it's our first home we need to buy furniture and appliances, and there are repairs to pay for, as well as new bills. My partner says we should split these costs and that I shouldn't worry about the deposit, but I feel guilty.

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hippocrates1

Depends if they have a deed of trust drawn up. If the houses is 50:50 in their names then I don’t think it’s matters who pays. I would be way of paying for everything if he has retained his deposit money if they sell. 

Honestly they’re a couple. There’s no right or wrong answer as to how to split money. 

ele_91

Agree with the above, was there a trust deed protecting shares of deposits and was the house purchased as tenants in common with equal or unequal shares? If the partner has already protected his share of deposit I see no reason to pay extra on bills or furnishings. 

gloriouslyhappy

It often happens that even where both partners work, one partner contributes more to the home in terms of housework, meal planning, day to day running of the home, remembering family birthdays etc. If you're that partner, then I definitely wouldn't be worried about contributing less to the deposit as you'll be contributing much more in terms of home management over time.

summergirl40

This situation is similar to mine. My partner has just sold his btl property. We are currently living in my house (social housing) and have purchased a house together completely equal. I have put zero towards the deposit and he has put a substantial amount and pays all household bills. I work minimal hours towards days out, things for kids and home ect. We share a car. It feels equal as I run the home, meal plan sort children out. 

Odysseus

When my now husband and I got together and bought a house since I was mortgage free and he wasn't when we sold our properties, my money paid for the deposit which was more than 50% of the cost and I earned more,   I did not care at all - it was the means of buying a home together and that was what was important.

Dobbibill

There is no right answer - it's totally unique to the relationship. If the partner is feeling guilty then maybe they could save each month - there may be hard times further down the line where the savings will be equally as valuable as the deposit was. If they don't stumble on hard times it would be a pot ready for a mortgage overpayment   

Gervais3232

Deed of trust is the way to go. It might not seem like it right now and I wish you both the best of everything, but life can throw in some unexpected surprises at times. Perhaps also give serious consideration to your Wills, whatever your age, if not already done so.

getmore4less

Should have been sorted BEFORE they bought the place.

The two basic options are

1. get your deposits back equivalent of bigger deposit lending  the other 1/2 the difference interest free.
2. The bigger deposit owns a bigger share and costs are split appropriately

chockywines

My partner & I had a similar issue. I paid the deposit as I had savings, then again that was 1995 when it cost just under £2k. Over the years our circumstances changed, as did our money situations. Sometimes she would be the higher earner, sometimes I would. Being at the older end of the spectrum we have always had a joint account to cover any outgoings/expenses including holidays. Along the way we have always joked that in the event of us separating & selling the house I would walk away with an extra £2k. You can of course register this with a solicitor should you feel so strongly about it, personally I wouldn't worry about it. Work out any money issues in advance, remain open & honest with each other & most of all be happy. Good luck as you start your life together in your new home  🏡

smartwoman

We had a deed of trust to cover our deposit to agree that the original deposit would be taken from the sale proceeds and split as per original contribution, and balance split. Bills 50/50 and jobs and big purchases either 50/50 or whovever wants the item. He pays if he wants bigger tv and for sky etc,I pay for the garden stuff as it’s my hobby.
works well for us.