Money Moral Dilemma: Should I foot the bills for our new home as my partner paid the deposit?

crmism

If, in this day and age, society is expected to treat unmarried couples as married couples, then how you treat expenses is your affair, and if your partner is content to provide towards the cost of your home and to share everything subsequently, then don't rock the boat or feel you're taking advantage of the situation.
Presumably you have a joint account with your partner into which your earnings are paid, so why not meet all outgoings from that and forget about who-pays-what?

Jerome_TFB

If you want to participate more, what I would suggest is the following:
Pay for all the bills, and tell your partner to put the 50% he didn't pay in his savings. And the 50% extra you pay could go towards your share of the deposit, so that over time, you get some of that money if you guys were to sell or anything, and you'd have some of that cash in your name.
It's a way to save towards your share of the deposit. 

Again, there is no right or wrong answer; it depends on individual's financial situation / relation with money.
But I personally find it very noble of you to be willing to do this. So many people would just do nothing.

AUDITOR

This isn't as straightforward as it looks. If both of your names are on the property deeds, then you are "tenants in common" and are assumed to hold equal shares in the property. Alternatively, you can arrange to hold the property as "joint tenants" specifying what proportion each one has.

The difficulty comes if the unfortunate circumstance of a divorce arises in future. Since "he" paid the deposit from savings he already held when you met, that counts as "prior assets" and is discounted from any financial settlement. Any input into the property by way of furniture, maintenance, mortgage repayments etc by the other party is however included in the sharing of assets unless that also came from prior assets rather than income during the marriage, which counts as marital, not personal assets.

REJP

I struggle to understand what the OP feels guilty about?  Is it about not contributing towards the deposit?  Partner is not worried about it apparently.
All the partner is asking is for the bills since moving in together are shared.   He has made it clear he does not want to be getting money for the deposit.
What is the dilemma?  Split the bills according to your salaries and share them accordingly.
These things should be sorted out before moving in together, not afterwards.
 I could not see anything in the original post suggesting the partner is asking the OP to pay more than him towards bills etc, just to share them.  The share could be decided by the income of each person.

astroL

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My partner and I recently bought our first home. He paid the majority of the deposit as he had savings when we first met and wanted to get on the property ladder as soon as possible. As it's our first home we need to buy furniture and appliances, and there are repairs to pay for, as well as new bills. My partner says we should split these costs and that I shouldn't worry about the deposit, but I feel guilty.

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value.

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I cannot believe that this couple did not discuss this before buying the house.  If they did discuss it then they have already agreed on their finances; if not - why not?  It seems a bit late now to come across this one.

dallascowgirl

When we purchased our home, I put in majority of the purchase price from my inheritance, together with proceeds from our previous property I basically gave my husband my 50% share from our previous house.  In all we bought the house for cash.  I stipulated 67% to me and 33% to him in the Title Deeds. I think I have been more than fair in that the property will always appreciate and he would never get such an interest on monies in the bank.  Having been burnt previously, I always err on the side of caution as no marriage comes with guarantees. I don't work and have my own money so never ask him for anything. Holidays and bills and household repairs are left to him to finance.  I still, of course purchase things for the home that I like etc. Bottom line you have to be prudent.  You never know what is around the corner.  Have everything in writing!

kids9698

Hmm. I assume this is hopefully to be a long term relationship lasting years or your entire lives. Before moving in together, you really should have decided who owns what portion of the property and who pays what. You should also have talked about what you would do if you start a family or one of you loses your job. If one only pays half the bills and the other can't, you would BOTH lose the house. If one of you sinks for some unforeseen reason, you will BOTH sink. So you need to act together as a couple and support each other through the emotional and financial ups and downs that will naturally occur through your years together.          A relationship is a 2 way street.  Your partner was happy to pay the deposit. There may be a time in the future where she struggles financially and then you will be able to repay her generosity and kindness by covering her part of the bills until she gets back on her feet. 

Dinajung

You do not know what your circumstances or feelings are in the future and to safeguard yourself against becoming homeless and maybe resentful should things not turn out as you have planned arrangements for equal ownership should be established now.    For example
1. Make sure your name is on the Deeds of Ownership to avoid time and money wasting when sorting out ownership should you sell or split up.
2. Make sure all payments are officially traceable (DD or standing order).    
3. If your partner has paid the deposit, then your payments to equal this amount could be made by paying the mortgage for the correct amount of time.    After this the payments can be jointly and equally paid through DD or other official channel.
3. Have a household account with equal payments into it for Utility Bills, rates, taxes and even maintenance, furniture and furnishings.    It could also include an amount for holidays.
4. Make sure Council Tax, rates, utility bills are in joint names to avoid any possible confusion of responsibility.   
5. Make sure you pay your way in the relationship in effort, money and in decisions made.    

You then always have the freedom of choice without being beholden an also negate any imbalance of control.    This is especially relevant to women and enables them to maintain and increase their confidence in their equal rights as a person.   All these things should be sorted out now and not wait till something happens. 

This is from observation of other relationships and  personal experience and makes life so much easier.   Good luck

PaulBBrum

Everything is fine unless/until there is a breakdown in the relationship. Whilst it may seem somewhat cold, always regard the purchase of a property as a business transaction and remove emotion.

By contributing to household expenses, a ‘constructive trust’ is created. A complex area of law that happens when there is an agreement, arrangement, understanding or promise between the two parties. This can happen in one of two ways, when there is an express agreement and when there is not. Either way, the Court will look at all the evidence in determining the share of each party:

An express agreement, when set out in a formal document and signed by “A”, obviously gives a much better piece of evidence to show the intentions of each party. However, much of the time the intentions are only spoken in conversations and this comes down to one party’s word against the other. When this is the case, it is also necessary for B (the person claiming a share in the property) to have acted to their detriment (disadvantage) or altered their position because of the agreement, arrangement, understanding or promise.

Where there is no such express agreement, the Court may look at the conduct of A and B in relation to the property, which is called ‘imputing a common intention'. If B contributed directly to the payment of mortgage instalments, or to payments for a substantial improvement to the property, the Court may infer that this must have been because there was a common intention to share the property. After all, it is very unusual to pay another person’s mortgage for no financial gain at all. However, it must be contributions of a substantial nature, merely contributing to household expenses is not enough, as there may be many other reasons why people pay those.

moonstone_girl

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My partner and I recently bought our first home. He paid the majority of the deposit as he had savings when we first met and wanted to get on the property ladder as soon as possible. As it's our first home we need to buy furniture and appliances, and there are repairs to pay for, as well as new bills. My partner says we should split these costs and that I shouldn't worry about the deposit, but I feel guilty.

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value.

  If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.

  Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

I think it doesn't matter who paid more because without the other, neither could get on the ladder.  You each played a part in making this happen.  I think this is the most important thing here. 

For argument's sake (just in case you are Tenants in Common), that if you paid 5% deposit, and your partner paid 10% and you each own the percent you should on the paperwork, and now you're each paying your (assumed, for the sake of example) is 50/50 on the remaining 85% mortgage -- then you each own your fair share.  If you start paying bills then are you buying back percent on the shares?  I would think not. 

If you're Joint Tenants 50/50, and you both agreed to that, then I think it matters even less because you are clearly one unit, a team, just as you both worked together to get here. I would say not to worry.