We really can't afford the house we want/need will things get better for us or just forget it?

moneysavinghero

mrsmortgage said:

gettingtheresometime said:

For me it has extremely heart-breaking that my children will never experience the same type of life I had. I think if we were to find a house that OK maybe the girls would have a smaller room but then the other rooms work too, maybe I wouldn't be so frustrated? but all houses we've viewed all rooms are smaller and the extra room would struggle to fit a toddler bed. 

They wouldn't have an office/desk space that i need as I work from home and need big displays given my line of work.  Our current house gives me that too.... 

For the love of all that is Holy!
Are your children loved? Are they kept warm, fed & clothed?
Surely that's all that matters - not whether they have a massive room to themselves or go on fantastic holidays.

Maybe it's a cultural thing BUT where I come from, if you can give the same quality of life (and ideally improve it!0 you're seen as a big failure as a parent. 

We're also a blended family which doesn't make things any easier, my two will always go across the pond ever so often, something the other two won't. 

keeping parity in a blended family is VERY hard work. 

Don't you mean ' if you CAN'T give the same quality........'

mrsmortgage

moneysavinghero said:

mrsmortgage said:

Maybe it's a cultural thing BUT where I come from, if you can give the same quality of life (and ideally improve it!0 you're seen as a big failure as a parent. 

We're also a blended family which doesn't make things any easier, my two will always go across the pond ever so often, something the other two won't. 

keeping parity in a blended family is VERY hard work. 

Don't you mean ' if you CAN'T give the same quality........'

Yes, sorry I didn't see the typo!

Adsta

Rather unrealistic way to look at life in my opinion. Not everyone can grow up to be a huge money earner and live that sort of lifestyle. 

What would you think if your kids grew up and didn't earn as much as you and could live the lifestyle you had? would you see them as a failure? 

mrsmortgage

Adsta said:

Rather unrealistic way to look at life in my opinion. Not everyone can grow up to be a huge money earner and live that sort of lifestyle. 

What would you think if your kids grew up and didn't earn as much as you and could live the lifestyle you had? would you see them as a failure? 

No, but definitely my parents gave me the tools to be able to give them that lifestyle. and I was on track, but then I made regrettable life decisions that put me few steps behind my plan. If we weren't tied to this area (like we are) our quality of life would be substantially different. 
I have no doubt I'll be able to become a high flyer once again one day. Not everybody gets offered £75k job twice  

I do want to raise my children with an understanding of how certain choices can affect their lives, so should choose wisely. 

lookstraightahead

Why do you equate money to success to happiness? 

MaryNB

I still think you need to reconsider that house you own abroad. I know your uncle left it to you with intentions but with a young blended family in the UK what chance is there that you will ever move into that flat like he intended? There is a definite benefit to selling it because it will help you afford the larger house that your family wants but no certainty (or likelihood at least in the fairly distant future) that you will ever live in it like he intended. Is there another family member you could sell it to so you could get the financial benefit while keeping it in the family?

mrsmortgage

lookstraightahead said:

Why do you equate money to success to happiness? 

I actually don't, but I do want a holiday! Through these past 3 years, I've been a KP, a receptionist, a door to door sales person, it was not so much about the money (I was fairly happy as a KP to be honest) but about being able to use my brain. but ultimately living on the breadline just because of where I am located, when I have enough skills to have a professional job was utterly depressing. 

Before I was made redundant my life was super swanky but was a nice level. To me that was perfect (in that way). Now I'm back on my feet and things have fallen into place. Now if you ask me what gives me more happiness a house or a holiday, I would definitely say a holiday! 

moneysavinghero

If all you need is another 30k-50k to make the move happen, and you come from a reasonably well off family, could you not ask your parents to lend you 50k (plead to your mother that you really dont want to have to sell uncles house as you know how much it means to her)?.

mrsmortgage

MaryNB said:

I still think you need to reconsider that house you own abroad. I know your uncle left it to you with intentions but with a young blended family in the UK what chance is there that you will ever move into that flat like he intended? There is a definite benefit to selling it because it will help you afford the larger house that your family wants but no certainty (or likelihood at least in the fairly distant future) that you will ever live in it like he intended. Is there another family member you could sell it to so you could get the financial benefit while keeping it in the family?

My dear mother would never let me AT ALLL EVER. I'd rather enjoy the years that I have left with her. 

mrsmortgage

moneysavinghero said:

If all you need is another 30k-50k to make the move happen, and you come from a reasonably well off family, could you not ask your parents to lend you 50k (plead to your mother that you really dont want to have to sell uncles house as you know how much it means to her)?.

originally my dear mother said she'd me £100k so problem solved! We had the house, and enough left in case of emergencies but she changed her mind. Which adds to the frustration as we've seen what that money could afford. But it is what it is so I'm trying to move on from that.