We really can't afford the house we want/need will things get better for us or just forget it?

lookstraightahead

Op, I've lost all understanding of what you want 😂. Apart from everything! 

mortgage_noob

This thread is exhausting, the OP seems to want it all without having to make any sacrifices. I'd like a home in London, but I can't afford that so I'm leaving, we all have to compromise. Honestly, maybe I'd just cold, but if  you're unwilling to make sacrifices you  shouldn't have had so many children.

sharp910sh

Think this thread should be closed. There is nothing more to add. 

purplebutterfly

I've read this whole thread and I am equal parts baffled and irritated by it all. 

  An existing home, a family business, a second home abroad, two adults in paid employment and a very large amount of disposable income each month - it all reads like an extended "humble brag". 

mrsmortgage

mortgage_noob said:

This thread is exhausting, the OP seems to want it all without having to make any sacrifices. I'd like a home in London, but I can't afford that so I'm leaving, we all have to compromise. Honestly, maybe I'd just cold, but if  you're unwilling to make sacrifices you  shouldn't have had so many children.

I think what you're missing to read is that I've already lived some substantial sacrifices for the children (having to pass on a £75k job because we couldn't relocate is one of the main ones for example). So we're deciding to compromise on the house in a way so the older children can enjoy the extra income too. We lived three years fairly frugally because I couldn't find anything better than very near MW where we live. 

I also though that £120k would be enough to get me another room, but clearly I was very wrong. 

purplebutterfly

mrsmortgage said:

I also though that £120k would be enough to get me another room, but clearly I was very wrong. 

In your original post you say it IS enough to get you an extra room but the rooms aren't big enough.  So I thought what you meant is that it isn't enough to get you extra floor space - ie a bigger overall property.

  Except that you also say that you CAN afford a bigger property.  So it is really confusing. 

You can afford an overall bigger house with an additional bedroom and extra floor space BUT the bedrooms still aren't big enough?  

mrsmortgage

purplebutterfly said:

You can afford an overall bigger house with an additional bedroom and extra floor space BUT the bedrooms still aren't big enough?  

Yes exactly! Because the rooms we've seen and our girls would end up in a much smaller room. (their current room is 14sqm, the best we can get is around 9sqm). The other two rooms tend to be box rooms, which is fine, that's better than what we currently have but our girls would end up paying the price. 

purplebutterfly

9sqm is twice the size of the bedroom I had from the age of 4 until I went to University.  I never minded it.  I'm sure they'll cope.
  Are you sure you're not pushing all your anxieties and desires onto them?  What you want them to have is not the same as what they themselves want or need.  I am pretty sure they'd choose a smaller private bedroom over having to share. 

mrsmortgage

purplebutterfly said:

9sqm is twice the size of the bedroom I had from the age of 4 until I went to University.  I never minded it.  I'm sure they'll cope.
  Are you sure you're not pushing all your anxieties and desires onto them?  What you want them to have is not the same as what they themselves want or need.  I am pretty sure they'd choose a smaller private bedroom over having to share. 

Yes, but I most certainly can't afford a 5 bedroom house, obviously they'd prefer a much smaller room and not share but I can't provide that for them. What i can is get an extra room (for the baby) and then they had to move to a much smaller room. 

It looks like regardless what we decide to do it's going to be a compromise for any of the children. In that way, we think the best solution is to stay here and try to make our living arrangements work better for us, after all we're a family of 3 most of the time. 

RelievedSheff

mrsmortgage said:

purplebutterfly said:

You can afford an overall bigger house with an additional bedroom and extra floor space BUT the bedrooms still aren't big enough?  

Yes exactly! Because the rooms we've seen and our girls would end up in a much smaller room. (their current room is 14sqm, the best we can get is around 9sqm). The other two rooms tend to be box rooms, which is fine, that's better than what we currently have but our girls would end up paying the price. 

But they are sharing the 14sqm room so in effect have 7sqm each.

Giving them both a room at 9sqm means that they have more space to themselves!!