We really can't afford the house we want/need will things get better for us or just forget it?

Anyanka1

OMG, OP.  Guess what?  I want to go back to live in the house we lost because we could no longer afford it but, ooh, we can't afford it so we have to live here, in a house we would never choose, in an area we both hate, surrounded by, frankly, ignorant scum.

We were both born into better, suffered some hard knocks then clawed our way back up to having better again... Then everything went wrong and it was all taken away from us:  Waaaaaaaaaahhhhh.

Now we live in a place we had never even heard of before we had to look for something, anything we could afford and we own it outright.  Yes, I could cheerfully kill 99% of the inhabitants but that is illegal in this country... And we own our just barely big enough house outright.

You just have to make the best of what you can do or have at any given moment.  Being dictated to by your own, let alone other people's children makes no sense to me and no-one ever died from lack of holidays.  Someone in your family needs to grow up, IMHO.

jazzyja

mrsmortgage said:

Sazzy1253 said:

This might have been covered but can you extent or convert the loft etc? We can’t afford a 4 bed so we’ve bought a 3 bed and are planning on changing the garage into a room/ extent in a few years. 

No, not much can be done to our house for better or for worse... 

So how big is your garden out back? Assuming you have one? Because you can always whack an extention on that 

comeandgo

mrsmortgage said:

Tiddleshalifax said:

I’m not sure what you mean by typical only child? I only have one daughter… she doesn’t dictate the house we live in - merely has the choice in decoration!! We are in the process of moving and aside from ensuring we were in an appropriate area, she has not had any choice over the home we have purchased. 

Sorry if I’m missing something here but I detect a child run dictatorship and I think you need to quash that. That should then make your decision much easier…
it’s also nice to have holidays but absolutely not essential. Myself and my husband had polar opposite childhoods - mine was very humble - I didn’t go abroad until I was 13 and even then it was with school! We just simply couldn’t - my parents worked hard to ensure that we had other experiences - and a good roof over our heads. If anything, it made me work hard as an adult to ensure that my child was provided for.,. She currently understands that as we are taking a financial hit to provide a larger home, she will have to sacrifice the foreign holidays - and as it’s all very exciting moving home - she won’t even bat an eyelid! 

I think this is form my POV while growing up. My house had a jacuzzi a sauna and god knows what else...  We also went on holidays pretty regularly. My house was also fairly big... later in life we moved to a smaller house and to me that was a lot better than having that vacuous mahoosive place.  Travelling from an early age made who I am, and would never change it.  The house on the other hand, couldn't have cared at all.  on the other hand, my step-children and husband are from much humbler backgrounds, they've never been on a plane or a holiday abroad for that matter, I still want to be able to give them that experience. I know our littlest one will have plenty of time once his older siblings have left the nest. 

I’m not surprised your new husbands children want to holiday abroad, it’s something they’ve never done before and your daughter would love her own room but you must look at what works best for the well being of all, including your own health.  You and your husband need to make the decisions, not the children.

lookstraightahead

I'm just glad there's a gin and tonic on the cards tonight. I can drink that in any sized room and I even have ice. 

Justonemorecupoftea

If the issue with the flat is that you don't want the funds to end up in a shared marriage pot, then you can get solicitors to draw something up that means you'll have "ownership" of the capital from that flat that goes into the new property in the event of a sale.

wewilldoit

So many threads and so many posts!

GaleSF63

jennystarpepper said:

boxer234 said:

These children would never have survived an 80s up bringing.  No holidays abroad, tiny bedrooms, threat of nuclear war.  Your in charge OP you’ve heard their voice and now decide what you want to do.  

Try the 70's lol.  One bath Sunday nights, power cuts, water shortages, 3 channels on the telly... OMG and you had to get up to turn it over!!  

My solution to that was to lie on the floor in front of the (black and white) TV.

jennystarpepper

GaleSF63 said:jennystarpepper said:

boxer234 said:

These children would never have survived an 80s up bringing.  No holidays abroad, tiny bedrooms, threat of nuclear war.  Your in charge OP you’ve heard their voice and now decide what you want to do.  

Try the 70's lol.  One bath Sunday nights, power cuts, water shortages, 3 channels on the telly... OMG and you had to get up to turn it over!!  

My solution to that was to lie on the floor in front of the (black and white) TV.

  That made me laugh. 

I also remember adults did not turn the telly over... thats what kids were for. 

Davesnave

jennystarpepper said:

boxer234 said:

These children would never have survived an 80s up bringing.  No holidays abroad, tiny bedrooms, threat of nuclear war.  Your in charge OP you’ve heard their voice and now decide what you want to do.  

Try the 70's lol.  One bath Sunday nights, power cuts, water shortages, 3 channels on the telly... OMG and you had to get up to turn it over!!  

Look out, we're now on P17 and Python's Law could strike at any moment!

(The Four Yorkshiremen sketch )

mrsmortgage

Justonemorecupoftea said:

If the issue with the flat is that you don't want the funds to end up in a shared marriage pot, then you can get solicitors to draw something up that means you'll have "ownership" of the capital from that flat that goes into the new property in the event of a sale.

I consulted a London lawyer and he told me it was not that easy, that really a pre-nup had to be drafted and as we know they're not bullet proof.