Break up of a long term relationship

madwomanintraining

MovingForwards said:

You're sounding more positive already!

At times I actually feel excited about the future, other times the doubts eat me up!

boxer234

I was in a similar situation two years ago and was terrified.  After years of being told how useless I was the thought of starting again was scary.  I took one day at a time didn’t think to much into the future apart from getting out.  I’m so glad I did o have my life back and no longer walk on eggshells in my own home.  I have rented for two years and am now looking at buying my own home.  You can do this.  Good luck.  

PS women’s aid are great to talk to. 

madwomanintraining

boxer234 said:

I was in a similar situation two years ago and was terrified.  After years of being told how useless I was the thought of starting again was scary.  I took one day at a time didn’t think to much into the future apart from getting out.  I’m so glad I did o have my life back and no longer walk on eggshells in my own home.  I have rented for two years and am now looking at buying my own home.  You can do this.  Good luck.  

PS women’s aid are great to talk to. 

Thank you - it's so good to hear that I am not alone - I feel so alone at the moment.  Today every time I think about it I'm panicking, about if I'm doing the right thing and that the grass won't be greener on the other side.

MovingForwards

The grass is greener, it's so bright you'll need sunglasses, but at the moment it's growing slowly, occasionally being watered and tended to.

The grass you left behind was brown, withered and no matter what you did, it wouldn't ever be green.

Joining and posting here was a positive step forward, you're getting support, chatting with people and there's usually someone around who will reply. 

We are in the internet age, there's so much information at our fingertips 24/7, why not take advantage of it.

The weekend is approaching, check the weather forecast and then if it's ok plan a short walk, even if it's 3 doors away and you act like you forgot something and go back home. A walk round the block or even window shopping for ideas. All free and helps you start to regain control.

Get a glass jar or something, tape a note on it to say 'future fund' then rummage around to find 1p and put it in. Every time you have 1p, 2p and 5p put it in the jar. It doubles up as emergency money to get some bread and beans, bus fare or even to bank nearly all of it each year.

When food shopping, slip an extra tin of tomatoes or packet of rice / pasta or herbs in to build up your cupboard, you could even do it to get your Christmas or other festival food together. Works out cheaper spreading the cost over months, than cramming it in on that month.

boxer234

madwomanintraining said:

boxer234 said:

I was in a similar situation two years ago and was terrified.  After years of being told how useless I was the thought of starting again was scary.  I took one day at a time didn’t think to much into the future apart from getting out.  I’m so glad I did o have my life back and no longer walk on eggshells in my own home.  I have rented for two years and am now looking at buying my own home.  You can do this.  Good luck.  

PS women’s aid are great to talk to. 

Thank you - it's so good to hear that I am not alone - I feel so alone at the moment.  Today every time I think about it I'm panicking, about if I'm doing the right thing and that the grass won't be greener on the other side.

The grass is greener much greener ! I felt very alone as well it is a brave move to get your life back.  Even being alone during the pandemic I haven’t had one minute where I regretted my decision just I should have done it sooner.  I tried to focus on little things I enjoyed each day.  The panic comes in waves but the actual doing it is no where near as scary as the thought of doing it.  

madwomanintraining

Thank you for the lovely replied.  Tough day today as my Son who is autistic who is joining me is having trouble dealing with the stress involved with the changes which isn't helping me!

tealady

Hi madwomanintraining.

Just remember you dont have to carry every burden by yourself.
There are loads of resources on the internet to help you cope with just about any problem.

Whether it be budgeting , child issues or just finding fun, new things to do, the internet is your friend.

Always remember, your life is for YOU, so dont worry about the grass being greener, you will only find out when you climb over that fence and start enjoying your new meadow. 

madwomanintraining

For some strange reason I feel a failure that it has come to this and my marriage is over! 

MovingForwards

It's normal to feel that way and it will pass when things are more settled, you'll then begin to wonder why you stayed so long.

madwomanintraining

MovingForwards said:

It's normal to feel that way and it will pass when things are more settled, you'll then begin to wonder why you stayed so long.

Thank you - I can't believe the range of emotions I am going through.  I am normally a strong positive person but this is proving so hard!