Parents gave gift and took it away

74jax

Gavin83 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

There are those on here who were very quick to tell the OP to cut all ties with the parents etc.

In the OPs situation I’d definitely be cutting the parents out of my life. However it’s a big step and it’s entirely up to the OP if they wish to take it. Only they can make that judgement.

I did feel that way too before the additional info. 
As the op willingly have the gift back, my thoughts have changed. 
They gifted it to the OP. The op then willingly gifted it back. 

Retireinten

I can see why the information from the OP has caused some confusion on this thread but I'm not sure why the information he's just given has resulted in such a drastic change of opinion. 

I read the last post from the OP,  that he part owned a property with his parents, paid via a gift from them. He was under the understanding he would be able to sell to release his gift when he was ready to buy his own house, but parents refused to sell as they wanted to keep the house, so he transferred the ownership of the property to his parents on the understanding they would give him the cash when he was ready to buy instead. Maybe I have it wrong.  Now they are refusing to gift him anything at all!  Maybe I have it wrong

Naive of the OP to trust his parents in this way, but if you can't trust your parents who can you trust? I'd trust mine!

I also have two kids, I wouldn't gift them £100k each without being able to afford to give this in cash to Each child. I wouldn't treat one sibling differently to the other, it's beyond cruel. 

68ComebackSpecial

74jax said:

Gavin83 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

There are those on here who were very quick to tell the OP to cut all ties with the parents etc.

In the OPs situation I’d definitely be cutting the parents out of my life. However it’s a big step and it’s entirely up to the OP if they wish to take it. Only they can make that judgement.

I did feel that way too before the additional info. 
As the op willingly have the gift back, my thoughts have changed. 
They gifted it to the OP. The op then willingly gifted it back. 

I don't read it that he willingly gifted it back but rather that he agreed to sign his share of the property over to his parents and would receive his gifted equity from them at a later date - which they have now reneged on. This would have been a reasonable idea as had he retained a share of the property he would, potentially, have a CGT liability as it wasn't his main residence and would also have made him liable to additional stamp duty when he purchased a home of his own. He clearly didn't expect his parents to go back on their word.

onylon

I sympathise, my sister is the golden child of our family and is allways getting support which isn't available to me, but at the same time I know that being independant has made me more successful. 

I found it particularly difficult last year when I was really struggling with (in chronological order) work stress/burnout, potential redundancy, family illness, moving house, then a new job while my sister was always at least one step ahead of me and seemingly without working for any of it. It is frustrating and hurtful when a sibling always seems to effortlessly attract the things you desperately want. I just keep telling myself that knowing my sister was struggling wouldn't make me any happier - although it might make me a little smug because it would feel 'fair' and I'm human.

I think you should take a step back so you aren't wasting so much energy on what sounds like a very one sided relationship. Given some space your parents may reconsider and even if they dont, you will be happier for it. Put the extra time into something more productive or spend it with your own little family.

Gycraig

74jax said:

Gavin83 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

There are those on here who were very quick to tell the OP to cut all ties with the parents etc.

In the OPs situation I’d definitely be cutting the parents out of my life. However it’s a big step and it’s entirely up to the OP if they wish to take it. Only they can make that judgement.

I did feel that way too before the additional info. 
As the op willingly have the gift back, my thoughts have changed. 
They gifted it to the OP. The op then willingly gifted it back. 

74jax said:

Gavin83 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

There are those on here who were very quick to tell the OP to cut all ties with the parents etc.

In the OPs situation I’d definitely be cutting the parents out of my life. However it’s a big step and it’s entirely up to the OP if they wish to take it. Only they can make that judgement.

I did feel that way too before the additional info. 
As the op willingly have the gift back, my thoughts have changed. 
They gifted it to the OP. The op then willingly gifted it back. 

Wasn’t exactly “willingly” he couldnt get a mortgage and pass affordability for 2 houses, Plus tax issues. 

His parents have totally taken advantage of his naiveness, the two people in life you should be able to trust. 

[Deleted User]

This seems like a really petty family squabble to me.

No offence, but if my parents offered me 100k, my first response would be, thanks, but you can't afford it, and I wouldn't take it even if you could, because it's yours to enjoy in your later years.

It makes me so sad when families fall out over money. My parents couldn't afford to help me out with the cost of moving house, never mind buying one, yet they are priceless. It's a sad state of affairs when we put a price tag on our own parents.

But aside from all that general stuff, we know nothing of the specifics here. In fact I'd say thats not true. We know something. We know that someone would come to a public forum to whine about not being gifted a chunk of money so large that most people will never see in one go, and threaten action against their own parents for what amounts to a broken promise.

I wonder if its possible that the parents wonder if their child has developed a spoilt sense of entitlement, and they really, really want them to develop a hint of independence before handing over their hard earned cash. 

wannabe_a_saver

Beardybaldy said:

But aside from all that general stuff, we know nothing of the specifics here. In fact I'd say thats not true. We know something. We know that someone would come to a public forum to whine about not being gifted a chunk of money so large that most people will never see in one go, and threaten action against their own parents for what amounts to a broken promise.

Its more about the unfairness/favouritism though isn't it? 

If they could afford to gift 100K, it would have been better to give each child 50k.  If they could only afford to gift £100 then it would still hurt if they chose to give all of it to one child and nothing to the other.

Primrose

Next time you're involved in a property transaction, seek legal advice first on any potential implications.  Meanwhile create some distance between yourself and your parents until you have a better perspective on your relationship.   Concentrating on improving your own emotional health is key and that is best done nurturing your relationship with your own family and creating your own values. 

-taff

elsien said:

Plus the number of hard working people on benefits due to minimum wage jobs/zero hour contracts, also included in that blanket statement. 

Or people with disabilities who may be able to claim some benefits while working, or those who can only work part time or are not able to work at all.

It's OK, I didn't realise this was sweetsand back again.Now I know, I'll just avoid their nonsense.

74jax

-taff said:

elsien said:

Plus the number of hard working people on benefits due to minimum wage jobs/zero hour contracts, also included in that blanket statement. 

Or people with disabilities who may be able to claim some benefits while working, or those who can only work part time or are not able to work at all.

It's OK, I didn't realise this was sweetsand back again.Now I know, I'll just avoid their nonsense.

I know... Another of their persona's on my block list......, 😂