Parents gave gift and took it away

HampshireH

11 pages to find we were all giving an opinion on something which wasnt true🤦🏻‍♀️

OP which was it, the original post info or your subsequent version of events?

Sea_Shell

HampshireH said:

11 pages to find we were all giving an opinion on something which wasnt true🤦🏻‍♀️

OP which was it, the original post info or your subsequent version of events?

Maybe OP should change the thread title to "Parents gave me a gift, and I gave it back".

justworriedabit

HampshireH said:

11 pages to find we were all giving an opinion on something which wasnt true🤦🏻‍♀️

OP which was it, the original post info or your subsequent version of events?

When the OP said what he said to me yesterday, i knew it was not what the poster implied initially but I thought I may have misunderstood the OP, clearly not. Not sure why the OP did not declare that very early on as the poster was asked for clarity.
Anyway, I hope the poster feels they've been helped.

burlingtonfl6

Well as we can all see the story the OP gave wasn't quite the full truth.
There are those on here who were very quick to tell the OP to cut all ties with the parents etc.
As is usually the case, there's always a bit more to the story and I'm glad there are posters on here who can sit on the fence and see there could well be a solid reason for how the parents acted.
Like I said in an earlier post, there is a reason why the sister has been treated differently and I don't think we will get to know that reason but in other families it is usually down to drink/drugs/poor money management/bad choices in a partner.....etc
But we'll never know.

Pollycat

burlingtonfl6 said:

Well as we can all see the story the OP gave wasn't quite the full truth.
There are those on here who were very quick to tell the OP to cut all ties with the parents etc.
As is usually the case, there's always a bit more to the story and I'm glad there are posters on here who can sit on the fence and see there could well be a solid reason for how the parents acted.
Like I said in an earlier post, there is a reason why the sister has been treated differently and I don't think we will get to know that reason but in other families it is usually down to drink/drugs/poor money management/bad choices in a partner.....etc
But we'll never know.

Based on very inaccurate information from the OP which changed the context of the thread totally.

When someone posts asking for advice, they don't expect people to sit on the fence before replying in case they have mis-stated a vital piece of information.

Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing...

justworriedabit

burlingtonfl6 said:

Well as we can all see the story the OP gave wasn't quite the full truth.
There are those on here who were very quick to tell the OP to cut all ties with the parents etc.
As is usually the case, there's always a bit more to the story and I'm glad there are posters on here who can sit on the fence and see there could well be a solid reason for how the parents acted.
Like I said in an earlier post, there is a reason why the sister has been treated differently and I don't think we will get to know that reason but in other families it is usually down to drink/drugs/poor money management/bad choices in a partner.....etc
But we'll never know.

I said that from almost the outset and the money was the parents and was sniggered at, but I posted yesterday and raised the same point again that it was not a gift, someone said it was so I accepted that I misunderstood the thread and then the poster evetually stated that his op was not clear and I and others were right.

The bottom line and this does not just apply to this thread.  The person gifting or not, it is their moeny, they decided if to gift, gamble, etc, etc.  There is nothing wrong with a parent, grandparents, like my grandparents, my parents and us and that of my husbands want to give their money away at hopefully the right time ie when it is not taxed on taxed again. As my grandparents stated to their parents, my parents to theirs me to mone and out children to us, they/we do not want the money we want them to sepnd it on hols, good life etc as we have been brought up not to live from hand to mouth and social housing and or envy people with nice things but work towards what we want.  You you get the genuinely unable to do that  but not for one moment I accept that eveyone on benefits etc is incapable of working and buying their own home, car, savings etc.

My husband may be getting a few hundred k's soon from his uncle and one of the reasons he may get it is as he has never asked for anything just like all of us.  As we have stood on our own two feet since leaving uni etc and never asked for a penny from parents just like our children, we would want to leave them something but if they lived or we did form hand to mouth, we'd spend all of our money

IMO, too many want something for nothing and ready to want a rise in taxes, IHT, CGT, etc etc and most likely they don't really have more than 30/40k to their names or at times less than 2k.

I've said it before, its wrong on every level when a high court judge overturns a parents will. How would you feel if one of your loved ones did a big dirty on you, or never bothered with you when your were frail/etc and lied/etc to you, you left them out of the will and wanted to moeny to go to your other children some of whom may not have visited as much as you want but they were loving had their own lives never tried to beg money off you and the judge turns round and says your will was out of order and they need a share of the million pound plus estate.

Bottom lines, we never expected or expect a panny from anyone but if we do get it it won't be rubbished away on 4/5 hols a year and big flash new car and a sports car, flash house, etc as we are used to having money and understand the hard work that goes into it and being sensible with the money you earn rather than live from hand to mouth and envy those that have worked hard and something to show for it.

burlingtonfl6

Pollycat said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Well as we can all see the story the OP gave wasn't quite the full truth.
There are those on here who were very quick to tell the OP to cut all ties with the parents etc.
As is usually the case, there's always a bit more to the story and I'm glad there are posters on here who can sit on the fence and see there could well be a solid reason for how the parents acted.
Like I said in an earlier post, there is a reason why the sister has been treated differently and I don't think we will get to know that reason but in other families it is usually down to drink/drugs/poor money management/bad choices in a partner.....etc
But we'll never know.

Based on very inaccurate information from the OP which changed the context of the thread totally.

When someone posts asking for advice, they don't expect people to sit on the fence before replying in case they have mis-stated a vital piece of information.

Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing...

It wasn't hindsight, I called it early on.
Like I said before, there's more to this than the OP let's on, the difference is you didn't see it.

-taff

justworriedabit said:

  we have been brought up not to live from hand to mouth and social housing and or envy people with nice things but work towards what we want.  You you get the genuinely unable to do that  but not for one moment I accept that eveyone on benefits etc is incapable of working and buying their own home, car, savings etc.


IMO, too many want something for nothing and ready to want a rise in taxes, IHT, CGT, etc etc and most likely they don't really have more than 30/40k to their names or at times less than 2k.

Well, that's nice of you to blanket statement everyone on benefits or social housing.

elsien

Plus the number of hard working people on benefits due to minimum wage jobs/zero hour contracts, also included in that blanket statement. 

Or people with disabilities who may be able to claim some benefits while working, or those who can only work part time or are not able to work at all. 

Gavin83

burlingtonfl6 said:

There are those on here who were very quick to tell the OP to cut all ties with the parents etc.

In the OPs situation I’d definitely be cutting the parents out of my life. However it’s a big step and it’s entirely up to the OP if they wish to take it. Only they can make that judgement.